- Rachel Hollis empowers women to stop apologizing and pursue their goals in her bestselling motivational book.
- Read this book if you’re ready to stop putting yourself down, make excuses, and finally take steps to live the life you want.
Women around the world are overflowing with unfulfilled dreams. In this book summary, you’ll learn how to set aside your fears and start taking serious action toward the success you want in your life.
Stop fearing your goals and start achieving them.
READ THIS BOOK SUMMARY IF YOU:
- Doubt how valid or meaningful your goals are
- Feel stuck in your progress toward your goals
- Need a road map for how to achieve your dreams
Table of Contents
Best-selling author and lifestyle blogger Rachel Hollis is in your corner with her bubbly personality and infinite confidence. She wants you to become the best version of yourself, and offers practical, actionable advice about how to make that happen. Hollis is on a mission to convince women that they can be and do more. She warmly encourages every woman to dream big and pursue her dreams unapologetically. Hollis is her own favorite case study. She cites her personal history as an example of overcoming insecurity and self-doubt to set and achieve impressive goals and build successful businesses. She offers solid girl-power affirmations, although the self-promotion peeps through. Despite her forceful tone and sometimes repetitive message, many women will find inspiration in Hollis’s promise: If I can do it, you can, too – and I’ll support you all the way.
- You are “made for more.” Dream big and act on your dreams.
- “Stop apologizing” and quit making excuses. Instead, develop the skills and behaviors you need to invite success and realize your dreams.
- Excuses are justifications or false beliefs about yourself that block achieving your goals.
- As commander-in-chief of your schedule, “make” time to pursue your goals.
- Feelings of “not enough” are “limiting beliefs” that prevent you from trying new things and reaching for your dreams.
- Work-life balance is unattainable, so focus on feeling centered and at peace with your choices.
- Allowing other people’s opinions to influence your behavior grants them power over you.
- Adopt constructive behaviors such as healthy lifestyle habits, an organized personal space and the ability to say no.
- To feel more confident, improve your appearance, your actions and your social circle.
- Life is hard. React to obstacles and roadblocks with a positive attitude.
Too many women apologize for who they are and what they want out of their lives. Too many women live in fear of their own goals. They ask, “What if I…?” while never working toward the end of the sentence. It’s time to ask how much of your life you’ve chosen for yourself, and how much of your life has been spent doing things that you were expected to do.
You were made to do more. To get started, you need to work on three areas of your mindset:
- Excuses to let go of. Root out the excuses and counterproductive beliefs that have been holding you back.
- Behaviors to adopt. After weeding out unhelpful beliefs, start manifesting your goals, and your goal-oriented mindset.
- Skills to acquire. Systematically work toward your goals by building your confidence, persistence, leadership, planning skills, and more.
Excuses to Let Go Of
The first commonly offered excuse for not pursuing one’s goals is that this is not what “good women” do. By her mid-20s, author Rachel Hollis had found her calling on social media, had her own office and staff, and was working 60 hours a week and loving it. But she was also downplaying her accomplishments, worried about what others would think of her. Keeping it all a secret indicated that to her, her blog and her accomplishments were something to be ashamed of. So when anyone said anything negative about her, she didn’t question it. She didn’t want anyone to be inconvenienced by the things that made her happy.
If this sounds like you, you might be living half a full life, just because the people around you don’t appreciate, understand, or support the things that make you thrive. You might be downplaying your success by dressing, acting, or speaking in ways that other people expect you to because that’s what “good women” do. But being a “good woman” often means being good to other people but not to yourself. This mindset will lead you to let other people determine your worth. But you don’t need other people’s positive opinions. You’re entitled to be yourself.
Another popular excuse is that you’re not a goal-oriented person. Don’t think of this as an inborn trait that you can’t change. It’s likelier that you’re just not goal oriented yet. Everyone has a dream, and a goal is just a dream you’re actively working on. So get working on it! You can’t have a dream and passively hope for it to come true. By working on your dream — becoming goal-oriented, in other words — you’re going to spur tremendous personal growth.
The third excuse for not working on your goals is that you don’t have time. But you control your schedule, and you should therefore evaluate how you’re using your time. Take Chelsea, for instance. She wanted to write a book, but she put it off for five full years because she was finishing school, working, getting married, and having a baby. But then something magical happened: She got bored with looking at her phone all the time and decided to start leaving it on her nightstand. All of a sudden, she found herself getting antsy without it and wondering what to do with her time. Finally, it occurred to her: If she spent less time looking at her phone, she could reserve at least five hours a week for working on her book.
If you want to take control of your time, make a timeline of your week as it stands. Account for every single hour. Like Chelsea, figure out where you have five hours in your week that you could dedicate to your goal. Make sure you schedule those hours for the time of day when you’re most productive, and treat them as untouchable: They’re the avenue to your success.
Yet another excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you’re not good enough. Of course, the very thing you’re attempting to do will prove this excuse wrong. If you say you’re not athletic enough to swim 3 miles without stopping and you never even try as a result, then you’ll never be athletic enough to swim 3 miles without stopping. If you try and you succeed, suddenly you’ll be athletic enough.
People fall into this excuse as they age, because as you get older, you become less tolerant of failure — not to mention the fact that other people become less tolerant of your failures too. To combat this fear of failure, first acknowledge the ways that you have succeeded and achieved in your life. Then focus on the advantages of not knowing how to do the things you want to do. Being a newbie makes you flexible and teachable, for example.
A fifth excuse is that you can’t pursue your goal and still be a good mom, wife, daughter, employee, girlfriend, or whatever role it is that you want to fulfill for someone else. Most people who make this excuse won’t do anything if it comes at the cost of anyone else’s happiness, and they will gladly put other people’s dreams ahead of their own happiness. But always remember: You get one life. Are you really going to live it strictly for other people?
It’s true that if you’re pursuing your own goals, you’re going to have to make sacrifices in other areas of your life. But that doesn’t mean you’re not going to return to them later. Work–life balance is a myth; work and life operate more like a seesaw. And just because you’re pursuing your goals doesn’t mean that you can’t show up for the people you love — you’ll probably just do it differently from how you used to.
The sixth excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you’re terrified of failure. Girl, get failing. It’s part of life. Think about Rachel, who grew up with a dad who was kind of handy. Her family moved into an old house when she was very young, and over the course of 20 years, her parents undertook a lot of renovations, some of which her dad decided to take on himself. On weekend mornings, Rachel would watch her dad tinker, ponder, and try to solve problems. He often failed — some of his failures were hilarious and made Rachel think he was an accident magnet — but he always tried, and in the end, one way or another, he found a solution. In the process, he learned a lot for himself, and he also showed Rachel that failure isn’t that big a deal as long as you keep trying.
So: fail. Fail often and fail hard. If you’re afraid of what others will think of your failure, imagine what they can learn by watching you fail and get back up again.
The seventh excuse is that your goal has been accomplished before. Well, of course it’s been done before — but it hasn’t been done by you. Instead of comparing your starting point to someone else’s success, start seeing other people’s successes as a sign that you can do more. In other words, instead of saying, “No, Lucy over there has already done it; I shouldn’t do it too,” start asking yourself, “Well, if Lucy’s done it, why can’t I?”
The next excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you’re afraid of other people judging you. In reality, judgmental people are going to judge you whether you pursue your goals or not. That being the case, you might as well start doing the things that fulfill you and make you happy.
You can’t be accountable to other people by fearing their judgment. If your family and friends have something to say about your goals or how you’re achieving them, you owe it to them to hear them out — but not to live the way they think you should. Don’t let other people talk you out of trying to reach your goals.
The final and most pernicious excuse is that upstanding women don’t hustle. While men are applauded for wanting power and wealth, women who value those things are frowned upon. Don’t downplay your God-given talents because you’re a woman. If other people disapprove of your choices as a woman, it’s not their business to do so; nor is it your business to care.
Behaviors to Adopt
Changing your behavior is the next step after letting go of your excuses. First you’ll want to stop asking for permission. Most women grew up with a man as the voice of authority in the family. If that man had your best interests at heart and didn’t treat you any differently than he did the males in the family, that’s fine — but most women weren’t so lucky.
Donna wanted to learn to play guitar when she was young — specifically, metal guitar. She wanted to shred. But the guys in the rock bands in her town told her that girls couldn’t shred — that women’s hands were too small and too slow. Donna was discouraged and decided, unhappily, to focus on singing — until she discovered famed shredder Lita Ford. She decided to stop looking for the guys’ permission and finally came into her own. She got a smaller guitar and a teacher who didn’t discourage her but found solutions for Donna instead.
Some women have a big, long list of dreams they could pursue, but they put more effort into the list-building than they do into actually accomplishing items on the list. Personal growth doesn’t work this way. You can’t work on a little bit of this and that all at once and expect to achieve any of the items on your list. Instead, try the “10, 10, 1” method. First, write down everything you want out of your life in the next 10 years. Get rabidly specific about it. Think as big as you possibly can. Next, write down 10 dreams that would make that future a reality. Finally, choose the one goal that will get you to your desired self the fastest and pursue it with everything you’ve got. You’ll find that as you work toward that one goal, everything else on your list will get easier at the same time.
The next behavior to adopt is to start asking for help. Famously successful women like to pretend that they do everything themselves, running business empires while also raising their kids full time, practicing excellent self-care, taking care of their homes, and being great wives. This is wildly unrealistic, and untrue to boot. Every single famous, successful person you can think of hires help and gets help from their families.
Think about it this way: For centuries, men have been able to get to the top of their fields by leaving housework and child-rearing to their wives. If men were expected to “do it all,” women would be the titans of industry instead. Rather than trying to manage everything yourself, find whatever help you can get and stop spending your time on activities you hate. You don’t have to do penance for pursuing your goals.
The next behavior is to set yourself up for success. To pursue your goals, your day-to-day life needs to provide you with a solid foundation that lifts you up and gives you something to build upon. The best first steps are to get yourself healthy, keep your personal space in order, build a community that supports you, develop good work habits, and establish a morning routine that gets you in the right headspace for good work.
Next, stop letting people talk you out of pursuing your goals. Insecure people wil try to drag you down to feel better about their own insecurity; misery loves company. Don’t let them do it. Dig in and stand strong against pushback. Other people don’t get to comment on the things you’re doing because they’re not the ones doing it.
Hannah, for example, had to stand up to her husband when they were talking about their life goals. He said he wanted a big, expensive house in the middle of a city, but that was the opposite of what Hannah wanted. When she told him that one of her 10-year goals was to own a big piece of forested land with a small house on the property, he said it was a useless goal. Hannah responded by saying that it was her dream and he didn’t get to judge it. This shocked him out of his bad attitude and made him consider how they could make both of their dreams happen, together.
The final behavior to adopt is to say no. Not maybe when you mean no; not no with excuses attached — just plain old no. Be polite but honest, and be firm about your answer. Live in line with your priorities, and the people who love and value you will understand why you have to say no sometimes.
Skills to Acquire
The next step toward meeting your goals is to develop some skills. Note that each of these can be acquired through practice; you don’t need innate talent for them.
First you need to develop a skill for planning. To achieve your goal, you’re going to need a road map laying out how you’re going to get to success. Your first step is to start with the finish line, which should be a very specific, quantifiable, and wellarticulated goal.
Next, figure out where you’re starting from. This includes whatever resources you have right now to help you get to your goal, as well as the resources you lack. Then establish guideposts for your goal. Brainstorm every single step on the way to your goal, write them down, and decide which steps are absolutely necessary to get you to your goal. Finally, break your path down into mile markers — or small, quantifiable steps that are absolutely necessary for you to get from guidepost to guidepost.
Looking at your entire road map can be terrifying. That’s what the mile markers are for: They show you the incremental steps you need to take next. Once you have your road map, go all in, take action immediately, and do not stay down when you fail.
You’ll need to acquire confidence — and yes, confidence is a skill that you can practice. There are several surefire ways to improve your confidence. First, you can cultivate your appearance to make yourself feel confident. Shallow? Nope! Looking good — however you define “good” — makes you feel more accountable to yourself. Lizzy, for instance, always idolized her cool, punk rock cousin Jackie when she was a kid. To make herself feel more confident as a teenager, she got a few facial piercings and jewelry. That threw some people off at work at her adult jobs, but it also announced that she was different and comfortable with herself.
The second approach to confidence is to back up your feelings with action. Choosing to act confidently, even when you’re not inclined to, will make you feel confident. Finally, consider the people you hang out with. If you surround yourself with confident people, you’ll undoubtedly mimic their behaviors.
Another skill to acquire as you work on your goals is persistence. As you work your way along your road map, make sure you have dates attached to the mile markers that are immediately in front of you. Your guideposts should also have some flexibility, because you’re going to fail along the way. You have to be able to pick yourself back up and start working again.
Don’t treat your goal as if it’s temporary and let go of it at the first sign of failure. Your goal isn’t just a thing you do; it’s who you are. Your progress toward it is training, and that training will never end, because once you achieve one goal, you’re going to choose your next. This means that you’re going to have to be persistent.
The fourth skill to acquire is effectiveness. If you set goals but find yourself never really moving toward them, it’s probably because you’re not using your time effectively. There are a few tools that can help you. First, use a “results list” rather than a to-do list. To-do lists make it easy for you to write down every single little thing you need to do in a day and make yourself feel better by checking off the items that are easiest to accomplish. A results list, on the other hand, holds you accountable to the results you want to achieve by the end of the day.
Second, figure out the most efficient ways to reach your mile markers. Is there something that, if completed, would make other steps unnecessary? Next, take on a productive mindset. You don’t need a writing room or a special space to work in, but you might need some tools to help you concentrate, like white noise, chewing gum — whatever aids encourage your productivity. Finally, know and avoid your distractions.
Another skill to acquire is positivity. For instance, when Vanessa took a transfer at her job, she didn’t know how much she was going to hate her new day-to-day tasks. She spent a week or so slogging through work before the prospect of showing up made her feel like death. But she liked her company and didn’t want to quit. So she made a conscious decision to find the positive. She asked her new manager why her day-to-day tasks were necessary so that she could both learn more about them and find more efficient ways to do her job. She looked for a positive learning experience and found it. The last skill to acquire is “lead-her-ship.” You probably already have leadership skills. Were you the kid who brokered Magic: The Gathering card trades in your elementary school. On your rowing team, did you organize and clean all the rowing shoes? Whatever form it took, there’s no doubt that you’ve been a leader before. And it’s important for you to embrace your leadership, because other women need to see it.
You’re “Made for More”
Society judges women in relation to how well they serve the people around them. You’re a good mom if your children are happy and well-behaved, a good wife if your husband is content and successful, and a good daughter if you look after your parents. But in this never-ending process of people-pleasing, you can lose the essence of yourself. You sublimate your hopes, dreams and goals in the service of others. Engaging in something fulfilling is difficult when you feel guilty for pursuing your dreams and desires.
“It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are. It’s time to become who you were meant to be.”
Dream big, and act on your dreams. Whether you want to train for a road race, start a business or go back to school, you have every right to develop your full potential. Best-selling author and lifestyle influencer Rachel Hollis knows about setting and achieving audacious goals. She overcame childhood trauma to build a multimillion-dollar company, growing from an overweight, insecure teenager into a healthy marathoner, and evolving from a desperate people-pleaser to a confident wife and mother.
“If we weren’t afraid of ourselves, we wouldn’t spend so much time apologizing constantly for who we are, what we want out of life, and the time required for us to pursue both.” ”
Hollis stopped apologizing and making excuses. Instead, she developed behaviors that invited success and learned the skills she needed to realize her dream.
Stop Living a “Double Life”
Hollis started a blog while running a successful event-planning business in Los Angeles. At first, she posted everything online, including what she ate for dinner. Her posts became more engaging and professional, and she gained followers. As the blog’s popularity grew, she received offers for speaking engagements and product placements. The blog attracted fans and built revenue. In less than two years, it became Hollis’s full-time job. With more than a million followers, she established herself as a social media influencer.
“If I could tell you anything, if I could convince you to believe it, it’s that you were made for more.” ”
Like many women, Hollis kept quiet about her hard-won success because she feared other people’s judgment. Her feelings of shame about being a working mom made her double her efforts to be the perfect wife and mother. The stress of living a double life brought on anxiety attacks. In 2015, Hollis attended a conference that helped her realize that she had deeply embedded expectations about a woman’s role that were stifling her true nature. She learned to take pride in her accomplishments, believe in her abilities and pursue her biggest dreams. Now she focuses on becoming her best self. And she says you can do the same.
You Have Time
If you have dreams, then you have goals. Once you identify a goal, develop a plan to get there. You are commander-in-chief of your schedule. Make time. You’ll make sacrifices, but chasing a meaningful dream is worth it. Follow these tips to make it happen:
- “Make a timeline of your current week” – For one week, track what you do in every hour of each day. Figure out where you can carve out five hours to devote to your goal.
- “Treat your ‘Five to Strive’ hours as sacred” – No matter what, don’t let anything divert you from working on your goal during those designated hours.
- “Make sure your minimum hours are your best hours” – If you work best in the morning, slot your goal hours then. If you’re a night owl, work at night.
- “Plan your schedule weekly” – You may have to move your goal hours around depending on your family’s schedule. Move them, but don’t give them up.
You Are Enough
Not feeling you are good enough is a common insecurity for women. It can hold you back from trying new things and reaching for your dreams. The older you get, the more you worry about how your mistakes and failures look to others. Hollis always felt she wasn’t smart enough because she hadn’t earned a college degree. She ran a successful business, but she held back from examining her own financials. She signed up for an expensive online accounting course from the Harvard Business School, but she forgot everything she learned after taking the exams. Hollis sought other methods more suited to her learning style to master the financial side of her business. She watched YouTube tutorials and attended conferences until things clicked.
“It’s not fear of failure that keeps you in this place; it’s a fear of what other people will think of your failure.” ”
Excuses are justifications or false beliefs about yourself that keep you from achieving your goals. Invalidate a limiting belief by reminding yourself of your past accomplishments. Give yourself a pat on the back.
There Is No Such Thing as Work-Life Balance
Taking care of your family is important. Taking care of yourself matters just as much. You’re allowed to further your goals even when it means giving up time with people you love. Women try to achieve the legendary work-life balance, but it’s a myth. The misconception that other women have achieved this balance makes you feel like you’re failing when some of the balls you’re juggling fall to the ground. Shifting between work and life outside of work is a continual process. Sometimes, family responsibilities take precedence. At other times, work demands your attention.
“Embracing the idea that you can want things for yourself even if nobody else understands the whys behind them is the most freeing and powerful feeling in the world.”
Instead of seeking balance, focus on feeling centered. When you’re centered, grounded and at peace with your choices, you can weather the daily chaos that is a working mom’s reality. You’re less likely to suffer from the feeling that time you spend working or devoted to self-care means you’re letting your children down. You’re trying to be the best mom possible. You won’t be perfect, but that’s okay. You’re a work in progress and so are your kids. Stop worrying about what other moms think. Your centered self knows that you’re teaching your children that it’s okay to pursue their dreams.
Stop Handing Over Your Power
When you let other people’s opinions influence your behavior, you’re handing over your power. You’re letting them dictate your priorities and decide what’s most important for you. Even when someone offers an opinion with your best interests in mind, it’s your choice to accept or reject their point of view. Even advice that others offer with love may not be correct. If the purpose of an opinion is to hurt you, belittle your efforts or keep you down, reject it outright – even if it comes from someone close to you.
“I found success when I learned to focus, and focus requires choosing one thing.” ”
Other destructive opinions stem from imagination and hearsay. You project your insecurities onto another person’s actions. Assuming that someone has a negative opinion about you without proof is a manifestation of self-doubt. Recognize this behavior so that other people’s negative opinions, real or imagined, lose their power.
Behave Like a Boss
You choose your behaviors, though they often become so habituated they seem like a permanent part of your makeup. You control how you behave. Discard behaviors that work against you and adopt those that help you achieve your dreams. Productive behaviors facilitate success and bring you closer to your goals.
“Gaining confidence from your appearance isn’t about having a specific style; gaining confidence from the way you look is about having a personal style.” ”
If you’ve grown up in a patriarchal society, your images of authority figures are male. It may be a reflex to ask permission and approval from the men in your life whether they’re bosses or family members. Recognize this behavior to understand that you don’t need someone else to endorse your choices. You’re allowed to be you.
“Society tends to raise boys to go after what they want and tends to raise girls to go after the boys. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter what society thinks about you and your dreams.”
No one calls male leaders “boy bosses.” Lawyers aren’t boy lawyers and doctors aren’t boy doctors. Yet, the term “girl boss” has a prominent place in the vernacular, and women often perpetuate it. Such qualifying terms diminish a woman’s achievements and set a bad example for young women.
“10, 10, 1”
If you have dozens of goals, but aren’t working on any of them consistently, then they’re not dreams, they’re ideas. Women often pick at their goals, doing a little bit here and a little bit there. If you are serious about turning your dreams into reality, select one goal and make it the focus of your efforts. “A goal is a dream with its work boots on.”
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” ”
Choose your goal by using the 10, 10, 1 method. Imagine it’s 10 years in the future and you’ve achieved your most desired goals. Write down what these goals are. Be specific. What does your day look like, where do you eat and what vacations do you take? Identify the 10 dreams that have come true as you live your best future life. Are you financially secure, running a business or living by the ocean? Choose one goal from the 10 to work on now. Be specific; think about how you will assess your progress. For example, instead of setting the goal of being more fiscally responsible, commit to saving $5,000.
“There are a hundred ways to learn to swim and one very easy way to drown, and that is by being unwilling to admit you’re drowning in the first place.”
Ask for help when you need it. Being self-made is a fairy tale. The accomplished women you see and admire have assistants, housekeepers and nannies. Ask your partner, siblings or parents for assistance or trade baby sitting with a friend. You don’t have to do it all, nor should you try.
“Set Yourself Up to Win”
Staying motivated and pursuing your goals is even more difficult if you are tired, anxious or suffering. Creating success starts with building a strong foundation:
- “Get healthy” – Physical health and emotional well-being are essential to motivation, focus and energy. Start with good hydration and daily exercise. Carve out an hour in the early morning for yourself. Enjoy your coffee, read a book, go for a walk or pray – whatever you find restoring and renewing. Follow a daily gratitude practice, such as writing down 10 things in your life that are blessings.
- “Get your personal space in order” – A messy, disorganized home will pull you down. Take control of your space. Make it neat, comfortable and inviting.
- “Develop great habits” – Changing an entrenched pattern is challenging. Do the new thing consistently and repeatedly until it becomes a habit.
- “Learn to say no” – Society expects moms to love volunteering at their children’s schools or activities. Understand that your time is precious and that when you agree to do something you don’t enjoy, you take time away from other things that matter. Be judicious about your commitments.
Figure Out Where You’re Going
Ambitious goals require tenacity and self-assurance. The good news is that you can learn these traits. Knowing how to plan, for example, is crucial to success. Identify your goal and set a method of attack. An effective planning process means knowing where you’ll begin, where you’re going and when you’ve reached the end. Begin at the end. Assess your resources, skills and behaviors. Brainstorm every idea that moves you toward your goal. Select the three most effective ideas as your guideposts or “mile markers.” You may think of dozens of possible strategies, but follow up only on those with the most potential. When Hollis wanted to “create a book proposal,” her guidepost ideas included attending a writer’s conference and creating a Pinterest page. She eventually discarded those fun, time-consuming activities in favor of the hard work of writing.
“Struggles don’t mean you’re weak; they mean you’re human. Your inexperience doesn’t mean you won’t succeed; it just means you haven’t yet.” ”
Don’t take detours. Stay on course. When you’re facing hard work, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Your fingers itch for Instagram. Such time wasters are detours around your mile markers and guideposts. To stay on track, create lists of results rather than lists of things to do. Identify the specific result you want from a work session. For a writer, this might be to write 2,500 words, while for a salesperson, it may be to reach out to 10 prospects each week. Limit your results list to three to five tasks. Avoid attention busters by turning off Wi-Fi while you’re working or by shutting down your phone, to name two examples.
Develop your confidence. Work on your appearance, your actions and your social circle to feel more confident. When you feel good about how you look, you feel better about yourself. Realize that your potential and ingenuity can make up for some lack of experience. Men apply for jobs for which they’re 60% qualified while women apply only if they feel they’re totally capable. Act confidently so you can gain the opportunity to prove yourself. Surround yourself with confident, ambitious and successful people.
“When you understand that you don’t have to justify your dreams to anyone else for any reason, that’s the day you truly begin to step into who you’re meant to be.” ”
Life is hard and obstacles will appear, but you can decide to be positive. You have the power to choose how to react to obstacles.
You were made to be more than you’ve been allowing yourself to be. It’s time to change your mindset and start working toward the goals you’ve been putting off. Along the way, remember to embrace these three aspects of change:
- Excuses to let go of. Root out the excuses and counterproductive beliefs that have been holding you back.
- Behaviors to adopt. After weeding out unhelpful beliefs, start acting on your goals, and your goal-oriented mindset.
- Skills to acquire. Systematically work toward your goals by building your confidence, persistence, leadership, planning skills, and more.
Rachel Hollis is an author, motivational speaker, and blogger. Her bestselling book Girl, Wash Your Face was the second most popular book of 2018 on Amazon.
Rachel Hollis, founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com, urges women to stop making excuses and start pursuing their dreams in her self-help book Girl, Stop Apologizing. She argues that women have been conditioned to apologize for wanting more out of life than being a wife and mother. Hollis shares her own struggles with confidence and advocates that women stop seeking permission and validation.
The book is divided into three sections. Part one focuses on excuses. Hollis contends that women hold themselves back with apology, fear, and self-doubt. She encourages readers to identify their excuses and limiting beliefs. Part two covers goal-setting, advocating that women define success for themselves rather than society’s standards. Hollis provides advice for identifying passions and taking action. Part three focuses on confidence. Strategies include positive self-talk, tuning out critics, and taking risks.
While Hollis’s tough love approach may not resonate with all readers, her book provides practical tips and inspiration for women seeking to gain confidence and achieve their ambitions. However, some may find her perspective of traditional gender roles outdated or oversimplified. Overall, Girl, Stop Apologizing is a motivating read for women looking to stop making excuses and unapologetically go after what they want.