Table of Contents
Is Your Body Still Holding Onto Past Pain, and How Can You Finally Let It Go?
Struggling with personal trauma or activist burnout? Discover how Prentis Hemphill’s “What It Takes to Heal” connects somatic healing, courage, and community to transform both yourself and the world around you. If you are ready to transform personal pain into collective power, continue reading to find a roadmap for healing that integrates vision, embodiment, and courageous love.
Genres
Mindfulness, Happiness, Personal Development, Society, Culture
Introduction: Heal personally and collectively through courage and empathy
What It Takes to Heal (2024) explores the interconnected nature of personal and collective healing, drawing on the author’s experiences as a therapist, facilitator, and social justice advocate. It offers insights into how trauma manifests in individuals and communities, emphasizing the importance of understanding your own healing journey in relation to broader societal issues. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, practical exercises, and philosophical reflections, it provides a roadmap for cultivating resilience, compassion, and transformative change.
It’s a warm night in Los Angeles, the air thick with tension and possibility. Prentis Hemphill, the author, gets off work at their community mental health clinic and immediately joins the thousands of protesters flooding the streets. The city is erupting in response to the acquittal of George Zimmerman for the killing of Trayvon Martin. Amid the chants for justice and the palpable grief, Hemphill feels the limitations of traditional therapy crumbling away. They realize that healing requires more than just individual sessions – it demands collective action and systemic change.
This pivotal experience sets the stage for a profound exploration of how personal and societal transformation are inextricably linked. Whether you’re an activist facing burnout, new to social justice work, or simply seeking personal growth, this summary offers practical strategies for healing trauma, building meaningful relationships, and engaging with the world more effectively.
Vision
A young Black child stands amid a sea of white-wigged George Washingtons and Abraham Lincolns. They themself are dressed as Harriet Tubman, ready for their fourth-grade history presentation.
Hemphill waits for their classmates’ giggles to die down. They then declare, “I am Harriet Tubman. I freed people under your noses.” The room is silent. Hemphill feels the shame leave their body, replaced by a newfound strength.
This early experience taught Hemphill that healing and transformation begin in the realm of vision and imagination. Visioning is an act of seeing beyond the current reality to what could be. It involves dreaming new possibilities and committing to them – much like Harriet Tubman did. Tubman had visions and dreams that guided her actions, leading her and others to freedom despite the brutal reality of her time.
No matter who we are, we are born into other people’s visions for ourselves and the world. These inherited visions shape our expectations, behaviors, and understanding of what’s possible. They can stifle our own imagination and prevent us from dreaming our own futures. In Ms. Jefferson’s class, Hemphill learned to internalize negative projections about their identity before they even understood who they were.
The process of visioning allows us to break free from these constraints and imagine new possibilities for ourselves. It’s about uncovering potential, creating unexpected alliances, and believing in a future that isn’t predestined by current circumstances.
At the heart of visioning is longing – a deep, vulnerable yearning that comes from within. Hemphill’s somatic therapist once asked them what they longed for, and after much introspection, they realized they longed to know how to love and be loved. Naming this vision made it feel more attainable, showing that articulating our deepest desires can shape our reality.
Commitment bridges the gap between our visions and the present moment. Harriet Tubman’s unwavering commitment to her vision of freedom, despite the dangers and uncertainties, exemplifies this. Our ability to dream, name our longings, and commit to them determines the likelihood of realizing these visions. In a world filled with limiting and sinister visions, it’s crucial to revisit our imaginations and dream new dreams, conjuring a future that serves us all.
Trauma
Hemphill sat across from a mother who had lost her son to police violence. This mother had turned her grief into activism, tirelessly leading marches and publicly telling her story. But over time, her productivity became a mask for her pain. That unacknowledged pain began to metastasize, and fellow activists began to view her as testy, rigid, and hard to be around. Gradually, she opened up. Hemphill gave her the space to simply be – they bore witness to the mother’s grief and reminded her that there was still life beyond her loss.
Trauma lurks in the shadows of our lives, shaping our behaviors and relationships in ways we often don’t recognize. At its core, trauma is a physiological experience that lives in our bodies long after the initial threat has passed. It can result from experiences of neglect, abuse, or oppression, as well as catastrophic events. Our nervous systems remain on high alert, affecting how we interact with the world around us.
Trauma doesn’t stay confined to individuals, though. Unaddressed trauma also affects social justice movements. Often, individuals come to activism fueled by personal pain. While this energy can spark action, it’s not sustainable, and can even stifle progress. Hemphill encountered one brilliant leader who had been given some difficult but necessary feedback during a meeting. Instead of receiving it constructively, the leader suddenly flew into a rage, grabbing a chair and flinging it across the room. This explosive outburst, triggered by unresolved childhood trauma, shattered months of careful relationship-building and organizational progress in an instant.
Healing, then, is not just a personal experience but also a social imperative. Integrating healing practices into our social structures and movements is essential to creating sustainable, transformative change. This might look like organizations prioritizing emotional well-being alongside strategic goals, or communities creating spaces for collective grief and restoration. It looks like creating safe spaces where people can express their grief and anger without judgment. It can also be found in simple, profound moments of presence, such as when Hemphill, as a new parent, chose to meet their child’s gaze and allow themself to be seen, breaking the cycle of trauma.
Ultimately, the journey of healing offers hope not just for individuals, but for society as a whole. By committing to our own healing and supporting others in theirs, we can build more resilient communities and more effective movements for change.
Embodiment
Hemphill rediscovered how to cry around the age of twenty-seven. Growing up, crying was not tolerated in their family. So they learned to suppress their tears. It wasn’t until a therapy session in their adulthood that they realized this was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling hurt. And it came at a cost: Hemphill had never truly acknowledged their pain and was carrying it within them instead.
After this revelation, they decided to take action. Inspired by a conversation with friends about sad songs, Hemphill created a playlist of the saddest songs they knew, and booked a private hot tub session. With headphones on, they allowed themself to cry, letting the tears flow freely. This experience was transformative. They felt lighter, emotionally and physically, as if a weight had been lifted. This practice of setting aside time to cry became a regular part of their routine, helping them release pent-up emotions and reconnect with their body.
The journey of healing is deeply rooted in embodiment. It’s not enough to understand our pain intellectually; we need to feel it fully in our bodies in order to release it.
Embodiment can be understood in two ways: the automatic behaviors we develop over time, and our growing awareness of our bodies and emotions. Take, for example, the act of brushing your teeth. This is a behavior that has become so ingrained through repetition that you no longer need to think about it consciously each day. Similarly, behaviors like people-pleasing can also become ingrained in us. If you’ve learned over time that pleasing others is a way to avoid conflict or gain approval, you might find yourself instinctively trying to meet others’ needs before your own without even realizing it.
By becoming aware of these automatic behaviors and understanding how they came to be, we open up the possibility for change. For instance, noticing the tension in your shoulders or the tightness in your chest when you feel the urge to please others can be the first step in breaking the cycle. Building this awareness allows us to make conscious choices rather than operating on autopilot. We can begin to align our actions with our true values and needs, fostering healthier and more authentic relationships with ourselves and others.
Engaging
The first spring after moving to rural North Carolina, Hemphill’s modest gardening hobby turned into a consuming passion. They spent their days planting seeds, weeding, and harvesting. This work proved challenging, but it also taught them many lessons. The garden became a reflection of the process of social change: starting with a vision but requiring consistent, often challenging, work to turn ideas into reality.
To make meaningful change, then, we need to get our hands dirty. Healing our individual traumas is one piece of the puzzle, but we also must address the broader cultural issues that give rise to those traumas in the first place.
Hemphill’s involvement with the Chicago Torture Justice Center exemplifies how individual healing and systemic change are interconnected. CTJC was established in response to years of police violence and torture in Chicago, particularly against Black men. The center provides individual therapy and mental health support to survivors while also working to dismantle the systems that enabled the abuse. This dual approach recognizes that healing the individual requires addressing the systemic injustices that caused the trauma.
Through their work with CTJC, Hemphill saw firsthand the transformative power of addressing both individual and collective trauma. One mother, who joined the center after her son was killed by police, found solace and support in the community. Participating in group activities like the Freedom Songbook, for which survivors and their families sang and wrote songs together, helped her regain a sense of connection and purpose. Over time, her physical health improved, and she began to sleep through the night for the first time since her son’s death. This personal healing was made possible by a supportive community and collective efforts to seek justice and accountability.
Hemphill emphasizes that true healing requires a holistic approach that considers the individual and the broader social context. Personal healing can only be sustained if the conditions that caused the trauma are also addressed. This means advocating for systemic changes that protect individuals from harm and create environments in which everyone can thrive. It involves challenging the cultural norms and policies that perpetuate abuse and working toward a society that values safety, belonging, and dignity for all.
Kinship and belonging
Being a middle child often means feeling a bit out of place. They often see a version of their parents that’s in-between – parents who are a little tired, not as striving as they were for the older kids, but not yet as permissive and applauding as they will be for the younger ones. This feeling of not quite fitting in can lead to a lifelong quest for belonging.
As Hemphill grew older, their sense of belonging in their own family became ever more tenuous. In a church environment that condemned homosexuality, Hemphill experienced fear and rejection, culminating in them being sent to a conversion therapist. This experience instilled a deep sense of shame and rage, reinforcing the belief that being true to themself meant losing the possibility of belonging. This struggle underscored the critical need for acceptance, and the cruelty of its denial.
In our current turbulent times, belonging is more crucial than ever. The world faces significant challenges, and yet we are increasingly fractured, clinging to divisive rhetoric. We have narrowed our vision of who belongs, often excluding those most in need of connection and care. Hemphill believes that to address these challenges, we must expand our sense of who belongs in our community and work toward inclusive connections.
Creating chosen family and kinship networks, or oddkin, is essential for a sense of belonging. Every Sunday night, Hemphill shares dinner with their partner Kasha, their child Amaya, and their dear friend Denise. Each of their households takes turns preparing elaborate meals, sharing news, heartaches, and reflections on the state of the world over food. This ritual binds them together, providing a safe harbor in the midst of many storms. These chosen bonds and collaborations help us face difficult times.
Allyship and accompliceship require a depth of empathy and feeling. Empathy is about allowing another’s experience to touch you deeply. It’s about creating a sense of safety for others by genuinely listening and being present.
This deep connection and understanding transform how we show up for each other. Allyship is not about performing solidarity but about feeling and acting from a place of shared humanity and interconnectedness. It’s about taking risks, standing in solidarity, and fighting for justice together. By expanding our definition of “we” – of family and community – we can create inclusive and resilient networks that support everyone.
Courage and love
Imagine a narrow ledge, two hundred feet long, leading to a boulder wedged in a cliff high above a canyon. This treacherous path is where the author found themself, paralyzed by fear, during a hike with their partner, Kasha. As their knees shook and their body threatened to collapse, Kasha looked back and said, “Become bigger than the fear.” This moment encapsulated an important message: that courage isn’t about conquering fear, but making room for it while pursuing what matters most.
Fear has become a pervasive force in modern American culture, driving political polarization and narrowing the connections viewed as possible. Political polarization stems from a deep, pervasive fear that builds walls both within and around us. These barriers create a sense of isolation and division, intensifying fear and leading to escalating conversations and defensive behavior. But what if it were possible to face this fear head-on, and transform it into something more powerful?
Enter courage – not the Hollywood action-hero kind, but the everyday bravery that allows us to heal, be authentic, and face what scares us most. Looked at differently, courage can be defined as feeling out what matters most to us and acting on it, even when it’s uncomfortable or risky. Courage is starting therapy, having honest conversations, or simply being yourself in a world that might push back. By cultivating courage, we can move from a state of fear and reactivity to one of intentional and meaningful action.
Love also plays a central role in this process of healing and transformation. Love is not just a feeling but an active practice. It involves showing up for ourselves and others, even when it is difficult or risky. Love requires us to see and affirm the humanity in each other, to will each other’s existence, and to work toward a world in which everyone can thrive. This kind of love is powerful and transformative, capable of breaking down barriers and creating new possibilities for connection and growth.
So let’s take a courageous and loving approach to both personal and collective transformation. By becoming bigger than our fear, practicing courage, and nurturing love, we can create a more just and compassionate society. Through courageous action and loving connection, we can build a world where everyone can feel safe, valued, and connected.
Conclusion
The main takeaway of this summary to What It Takes to Heal by Prentice Hemphill is that vision, courage, and love have the transformative power to heal both personal and collective trauma. True healing involves more than just individual therapy; it also requires addressing systemic injustices and fostering inclusive connections. By expanding our sense of belonging and practicing empathy, we can build resilient communities and create meaningful change. Through courageous actions and loving relationships, we can move beyond fear and division, nurturing a society in which everyone feels valued and connected.