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Can Ovid’s ancient dating advice actually help you navigate modern relationships?

Why was The Art of Love considered so controversial that it got Ovid banished from Rome?

Explore Ovid’s The Art of Love, the 2,000-year-old guide to romance that challenged the moral reforms of Emperor Augustus. Discover timeless strategies for courtship, the psychology of seduction, and why this witty poem remains a masterclass in social intelligence and human nature.

Read the full analysis to uncover Ovid’s specific tactics for maintaining long-term passion and learn how to apply his “love as warfare” strategy to your own life.

Genres

Sex, Relationships, History, Philosophy

The Art of Love (2 CE) is a witty and playful three-part poem that offers advice on the art of seduction, romance, and maintaining love. In the first two books, it provides guidance to men on how to win and keep a lover, while the third book turns to women, advising them on how to navigate the complexities of love. Blending humor with keen social insight, this work captures the timeless strategies, emotions, and intricacies of romantic relationships.

Introduction: A timeless treatise on romance

Ovid. The Art of Love. Uncover ancient wisdom on love and relationships. At the dawn of the Common Era, one Roman poet set down his thoughts about love and romance in a work that has become a classic of ancient literature.

The poet was Ovid, and the work was the three-part epic poem The Art of Love. But why should you, a modern reader, care about a poem written over two millennia ago? After all, some of Ovid’s advice might feel outdated, especially when it comes to courtship and romance, reflecting social norms from 2,000 years ago. Yet there’s still great value in seeing how some of these ideas resonate today, or simply in learning how love and relationships were viewed during the early Roman Empire.

Imagine a society where appearances were everything, where social interactions were as carefully calculated as a chess match, and where love could defy even the emperor’s moral reforms. Ovid navigates this world with a wink and a smile, offering advice that is as audacious as it is timeless. The Art of Love endures not just because it’s a historical curiosity, but because it captures the essence of what it means to be in love – the strategies, the emotions, the joys and the follies. You’ll be struck not only by the far-removed time, place and culture these verses capture, but by how salient the ancient poet’s advice remains today.

The Ancient Romans were serious romantics

Before we begin our discussion of Ovid’s famous poem, let’s get a better understanding of the context in which it was written. After all, the Art of Love is more than just an ancient guide to romance, it’s also a window into the lively, sophisticated world of Roman society at the height of its empire. Ovid’s Rome was a city of grandeur, where the elite indulged in lavish banquets, attended gladiatorial games, and mingled in the baths and theatres. It was a society where appearances mattered deeply, and where social interactions were often as calculated as a chess match.

Ovid taps into this world with wit and flair, offering advice that is both practical and mischievous. Let each man read the heart of his mistress, he writes, suggesting that love is as much about understanding and manipulation as it is about genuine affection. Ovid penned this collection of poems around 2 CE, during the reign of Emperor Augustus. Rome may have been decadent, but Augustus, unlike some of his predecessors, was a moraliser and reformer. He promoted laws that encouraged marriage and penalised adultery. The Art of Love was, in many ways, a cheeky response to the emperor’s reforms, a reminder that love, in all its messy, complicated glory, could never be fully tamed by legislation.

The poem’s content is, in itself, audacious. Ovid advises young women to take love as young and old. He suggests married couples try cloak-and-dagger intrigue to keep things fresh. He advises that theatres and arenas are the best pick-up spots in the city. But the political climate in which it was produced made it more audacious still. Ultimately, Ovid teetered on the fine line he was walking between satire and outright political provocation.

In 8 CE, Augustus banished Ovid to Tomos, a city on the Black Sea in what is now Romania. Historians have long debated the reason behind the banishment. Ovid himself writes, tantalisingly, he was banished because of a poem, probably the Art of Love, as well as an error, most likely a romantic indiscretion. Above all, Ovid’s text is a celebration of love’s universality. The Art of Love endures not just because it’s a historical curiosity, but because it captures the essence of human relationships, the strategies, the emotions, the joys and the follies. Ovid’s Rome may be long gone, but the dance of love he describes is as alive today as it was two millennia ago.

Seduction is an art

Should anyone here not know the Art of Love, read this and learn by reading How to Love. With this, Ovid opens the first book of the Art of Love, neatly assigning himself the role of teacher and guide, his reader the role of student. He is no stranger to love, he declares, but rather its master, ready to impart his wisdom to all who seek it. In Book 1, our seasoned guide leads men through the Art of Seduction.

He begins with the essential question, where can one find a suitable lover? The answer, he assures, is simple, women are everywhere. From Rome’s grand theatres to the bustling chariot races, the city is teeming with potential romantic conquests. If you’re on the hunt, my friend, go where the girls are, Ovid advises, a smile in his words as he sets the stage for the chase. The poet, ever the strategist, emphasizes the importance of subtlety and charm. Love, he insists, should be approached like a campaign, with careful planning and clever tactics.

Why not be a lover, like Paris, and choose your own Helen, he urges, invoking the mythological figures to encourage boldness. But he also counsels caution. One must observe the target, study her habits, and strike at the right moment. Timing is everything, Ovid suggests, and patience will always be rewarded. In a tone both humorous and knowing, Ovid discusses the art of flattery. Compliment her appearance, praise her intelligence, and, most importantly, listen attentively.

But don’t be too earnest, Ovid’s Rome is a city of artifice, where a little deception goes a long way. Fickle is the heart of a woman, he warns, encouraging his readers to play the game with skill and grace. Throughout the book, Ovid’s language sparkles with wit and elegance. His lines dance with rhythm, as if inviting the reader into the very dance of seduction he describes.

Venus herself leads the merry game, he quips, reminding us that love, though serious, is also a delightful sport. In fact, throughout the text, love is framed as sport, competition, or even battle. Love is a kind of war, he declares, and who among us hasn’t felt the truth of that statement at one time or another?

Happy relationships require strategy and skill

Happy relationships require strategy and skill. In the second book of The Art of Love, Ovid shifts from the thrill of the chase to the subtle yet challenging art of keeping the love you’ve won. The tone is one of seasoned wisdom, as he opens by reminding his readers that winning a lover is only the beginning. The true skill lies in maintaining the relationship.

To win her is easy, to keep her, that’s hard, he confides, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of love’s delicate balance. Ovid offers a wealth of advice, mixing humor with practical insight. He cautions against complacency, urging men to remain attentive and inventive in their love affairs. Love is a kind of war and no assignment for cowards, he writes, underscoring the need for constant effort. Just as a general must adapt his strategies on the battlefield, so too must a lover continually renew his tactics to keep passion alive. One of the key pieces of advice Ovid offers is to avoid jealousy, a sentiment he views as corrosive to love.

Let her have friends, but none that you fear, he advises, suggesting that trust and confidence are more attractive than suspicion. Ovid encourages his readers to be generous and forgiving, to overlook small faults and to not expect perfection, for the best of men has flaws. The poet also emphasizes the importance of variety and spontaneity in a relationship. Let no one be in everything too exact, he warns, urging lovers to avoid routine and predictability. Instead, Ovid advocates for a mix of attention and absence. Knowing that desire often grows in the lover’s temporary absence.

If you want to be loved, be often away, he advises, highlighting the delicate dance of presence and longing. Throughout Book Two, Ovid’s language remains as elegant as ever, filled with clever metaphors and playful turns of phrase. His advice, while rooted in the world of ancient Rome, resonates with a timeless truth. Love is an art that requires both skill and dedication. With charm and wit, Ovid guides his readers through the complexities of sustaining a romance, reminding them that love, like any great work of art, is never truly finished. It is a masterpiece in perpetual creation.

Women can be seducers, too

Women can be seducers too. In the third and final book of The Art of Love, Ovid turns his attention to the women of Rome. Having already schooled men in the ways of romance, he somehow generously offers his expertise to women, acknowledging with a wink that they too deserve a share of his wisdom. Women, accept my guidance.

No ship needs two pilots, he declares, positioning himself as the sole captain, steering them through the turbulent seas of love. Ovid begins by dispelling the notion that women must be passive in matters of love. On the contrary, he encourages them to be active participants, to seize the helm and steer their own romantic destinies. He advises women on how to attract and keep a lover, emphasizing the importance of appearance, charm and wit. Make the most of your charms, he urges, reminding his readers that beauty, while powerful, is only one part of the equation. The poet delves into the art of fashion and grooming, encouraging women to enhance their natural beauty with care and taste.

No one asks you to rival Helen or Venus, he says, but rather to present oneself as alluring and desirable. He offers tips on clothing, hairstyles and makeup, all with the aim of capturing a lover’s attention. Yet Ovid is quick to remind his readers that true charm lies in personality as much as appearance. Be learned and witty, he advises, extolling the virtues of intelligence and humour in winning and keeping a man’s affection. In a tone that is both playful and knowing, Ovid discusses the strategic use of emotions in relationships. He encourages women to be both tender and elusive, to give hope and withdraw it, keeping their lovers always on their toes.

Love, in Ovid’s view, is a game of give and take, where a woman’s power lies in her ability to balance affection with mystery. Ovid’s advice to women is laced with the same wit and elegance that marks the earlier books. Let each woman learn to play her part well, he concludes, reminding his readers that in the theatre of love, success comes to those who are both skilled and sincere. With charm, grace and a touch of artifice, Ovid offers women the keys to mastering the complex, delightful game of love.

The art of literary motifs and devices

Now that we’ve delved into the content of Ovid’s famous poem, let’s wrap up by noting a few interesting things about its structure and style. Across its three books, the poem develops several key themes. Perhaps the most prominent of these is the concept of love as a skill or craft, something to be learned, perfected and performed. Ovid positions himself as a teacher, guiding his readers through the intricacies of romance.

Love, he suggests, is not merely a matter of the heart, but also of the mind. Love’s a game where all must cheat, he writes, hinting at the playful, sometimes deceptive nature of courtship. Another prominent theme is the interplay between nature and artifice. Ovid acknowledges the natural impulses of love, but emphasises the need for refinement and strategy. He advises his readers on how to enhance their natural allure, suggesting that love requires a balance of authenticity and cunning. Art improves on nature, he claims, encapsulating the idea that love, like any art form, thrives on skilful enhancement.

Throughout the poem, Ovid employs motifs that enrich his exploration of love. The motif of warfare is particularly striking. As we’ve seen, he frequently likens love to a battle, with lovers as soldiers who must arm themselves with charm and wit. Every lover’s a soldier, Ovid proclaims, turning the pursuit of love into a strategic campaign. This motif not only adds a sense of urgency and excitement, but also underscores the challenges and risks inherent in love. The motif of theatre is another recurring element.

Ovid often describes love as a performance, where appearance, timing and delivery are crucial. The idea that lovers are actors playing their parts speaks to the performative nature of courtship in Roman society. Let her be what she seems, Ovid advises, reminding his readers that love often involves a certain level of pretense. Mythological allusions are another key device, grounding Ovid’s advice in familiar stories while also reinterpreting them to fit his narrative. By invoking figures like Paris and Helen or Venus and Mars, Ovid connects his readers’ romantic struggles to the grand tales of gods and heroes, elevating the mundane to the mythic. Finally, Ovid’s use of rhythm and wordplay is masterful.

His lines are crafted with a musical quality, making the text both engaging and memorable. Let each man read the heart of his mistress, he writes, a line that not only conveys his point, but also dances on the page with its elegant phrasing. In The Art of Love, Ovid doesn’t just write about love, he performs it. His themes, motifs and literary devices all serve to create a work that is as much about the experience of reading as it is about the experience of love. Through his clever use of language and his keen understanding of human nature, Ovid turns the complexities of romance into an art form that continues to captivate and entertain.

Conclusion

In this summary to The Art of Love by Ovid, you’ve learned the poem is more than just an ancient guide to romance. It offers a captivating glimpse into the social dynamics of Roman society, where love was as strategic as it was passionate. The poem endures because it captures the timeless essence of love, its strategies, emotions and complexities. Okay, that’s it for this summary.