If you’re in a relationship for the first time that has broken down, it’s often difficult to let it go and find a “closure.” The word “closure” literally means shutting the door on anything or a person.
In other words, closure is about leaving the past and not to drag it forward into the present. In the context of a relationship, this means letting go of that relationship and starting afresh with someone new, hopefully leading to a better one.
In fact, you can find closure in many ways. But how you do it very much depends on your mindset and specific case. Here are 10 ways to find closure after a break-up in a stinky relationship:
- Let your close friend know that the relationship has ended, and you’re okay with it. Get emotional support from your close friend to help you remain focused on the present as well as the future and not to dwell on the past.
- Call or meet the person you’re ending the relationship with an initial a clean break. Tell the person honestly that the relationship isn’t going the way you’d wanted it, and both of you should go your separate ways.
- Shift your focus back to yourself. Your personal interests may have taken the back seat while you’re busy with your previous relationship. It’s time to refocus on yourself and restart from where you’ve left out on the things that you’ve always wanted to do.
- Embrace a new hobby or activity to keep you occupied. If you’re always out on Friday evenings, perhaps it’s now time to spend time with your close friends for some meaningful activities or to watch movies. Alternatively, you could help out at some charitable events.
- Stop thinking about your old relationship. Try not to think about your old relationship anymore. If you do, tell yourself reasons for letting the person go and that it isn’t worth hanging on to it.
- Use a mantra to help you refocus. Keep repeating this mantra in your mind, and soon you’ll begin to believe in it. You’ll soon begin to behave differently, but for the better.
- Get rid of stuff that reminds you of the relationship. You need not throw them away, but keep them away in a box where the stuff could be out of your sight. Perhaps, at some time in the future, you’ll have the strength to revisit them, which will bring back fond memories instead of being tugged back into the past.
- Maintain your well-being. Adopt a healthy lifestyle by practising healthy eating, having regular exercise and having enough sleep. Be sure to keep yourself well-hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout each day.
- If you’re feeling sorrowful over the breakup, let it out. It’s understandable for you to feel sorrowful when the relationship ends. Don’t hold back your emotion; cry it out.
- Find out what has gone wrong in the relationship. Look back at this when you’re comfortable, that this will not stir your emotion.
- If it’s too hurtful to talk to the person, write the person a note instead.
- Remove the person’s contact from your phone memory.
- Remove photographs where the two of you were together.
- Keep away the presents the person gave you.
- Please write in your diary on your feelings, so you can get them out rather than bottling them in.
- If you’ve done something that could have played a part in the break-up, acknowledge it.
- Take cognizant of the signs that foretell the impending ending of the relationship.
- Resolve not to make the same mistakes in your future relationships.
If you’re the one not wanting the relationship to end, likely, you may still be ‘holding the torch’ for that person. In this case, you may find it hard to find closure, but remind yourself that the emotional cost for holding out hope could be way too high for you to bear.
In the best interests of your well-being, conscience and happiness, turn over a new chapter in your life and accept that the relationship has ended. Let go of the past, shut the door and go into a brighter future.