How Can You Build the Simple Habits Needed to Live an Extraordinary Life?

Why Should You Stop Chasing Success and Start Attracting It Like Anthony Pompliano?

Explore the essential lessons from How To Live An Extraordinary Life by Anthony Pompliano. Discover practical advice on building resilience, making smart financial decisions, and designing an environment that supports your goals. Learn how 65 letters to his children can help you cultivate discipline and find long-term happiness.

Start designing your future today—read the full summary below to learn how changing your environment and mindset can instantly set you on the path to excellence.

Recommendation

Most parents wish for their children to lead successful lives. But how to achieve that goal isn’t always clear. This collection of 65 letters from army veteran and entrepreneur Anthony Pompliano to his kids offers inspiring and practical advice for becoming resilient, making smart financial decisions, finding happiness, building meaningful relationships, and much more. While you could argue that the author is a bit too young to speak authoritatively about crafting a good life, his relatable stories drawn from diverse life experiences will interest anyone hoping to live an extraordinary life.

Take-Aways

• Living an extraordinary life begins with paying attention to small details.
• Build good habits to help you complete essential tasks every day.
• Don’t settle for being better than the worst. Instead, strive to be the best.
• Communicate immediately when things have gone wrong.
• Ensure your environment supports your goals.
• Attract the opportunities you want; don’t chase them.
• Genuinely care about the people in your life and the things you do.
• Acquiring as much knowledge as you can helps you make the best decisions.
• Travel to expand your perspective and gain experience.

Summary

Living an extraordinary life begins with paying attention to small details.

During author Anthony Pompliano’s deployment in Iraq with the US Army Infantry, he and his team often spent long, exhausting nights on patrol in the desert. Storms would often cover everything and everyone in sand. Upon their return to camp, the soldiers had to thoroughly clean their trucks and weapons before they could finally go to sleep. Though the chances of needing to deploy again quickly were slim, nobody ever skipped the task. The habit wasn’t just about readiness; it was also about commitment to the team. By ensuring their gear was always dependable, individual team members prioritized the safety and success of the entire group. This experience taught Pompliano that how someone handles small, seemingly insignificant tasks reflects their character and reliability.

“Once you decide the type of person you want to be, you can start acting like that person immediately.”

Consistent attention to detail is essential because it builds the foundation for more significant outcomes. Over time, your daily habits and small decisions define you. For instance, consistently arriving on time or finishing small tasks with care builds trust and a reputation for reliability. By paying attention to details, you develop into a person who is dependable, trustworthy, and disciplined — traits that will spill over into all areas of your life.

Build good habits to help you complete essential tasks every day.

Building good habits is essential for living an extraordinary life. When you establish a routine, completing an essential but mundane task happens on autopilot, leaving you with more energy and headspace to focus on bigger goals. Helpful habits might include exercising regularly, reading every day, or expressing gratitude to your loved ones. By automating these small but impactful behaviors, you free yourself from relying on motivation or willpower to stay on track.

“Build good habits and consistency
will do the rest of the work.”

Best-selling author James Clear advocates building new, positive habits via a “cue,” “craving,” “response,” and “reward” pattern. The cue triggers the action, the craving gives you a reason to act, the response is the habit itself, and the reward reinforces your behavior. Using this method, you can start small and intentionally build routines that are easy to maintain. Over time, these habits become ingrained, allowing you to achieve your big aspirations more easily and making your path to an extraordinary life more sustainable.

Don’t settle for being better than the worst. Instead, strive to be the best.

Pompliano learned a valuable lesson from his father about why it is essential to strive for excellence. In high school, Pompliano used to put in just enough effort to avoid being at the bottom of his class, believing that as long as someone else was doing worse, he would be fine, and his teachers and parents would leave him alone. However, as his dad repeatedly reminded him, measuring yourself against the lowest common denominator is a pathway to complacency and limited growth.

“You can’t beat the best if you are focused on celebrating the fact that you are better than the worst.”

So, focus on those who excel and use them as motivation and inspiration to push yourself further. Identify areas where you might be satisfied with simply being “good enough.” Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow and set goals that require real effort. You’ll never achieve anything noteworthy if you focus more on avoiding failure than on striving for excellence.

Communicate immediately when things go wrong.

Pompliano learned the importance of being upfront when problems arise during a crisis early in his career at Facebook. One day, part of the product he oversaw suddenly failed. He tried to handle the issue by troubleshooting alone with his team. After hours of making no progress, he finally informed his boss, who quickly identified the root of the problem and resolved it within minutes by involving another team. The real lesson came afterward. Pompliano’s boss was less concerned about the failure than about the fact that Pompliano hadn’t communicated the problem earlier, preventing others from helping sooner.

“Learn to communicate like your career depends on it.”

Bad news doesn’t disappear or improve over time; it usually worsens if ignored. Delaying communication creates unnecessary stress and can escalate the situation. So, when faced with bad news, share it immediately with those who can assist. When you’re proactive and transparent, you avoid wasting valuable time — and money — and can usually resolve problems before they get out of control.

Ensure your environment supports your goals.

Your environment has profound effects on your behavior. For example, a tidy room creates space for clear thinking and disciplined habits. Pompliano learned this lesson during basic training in the US Army, where maintaining a spotless room was mandatory. Over time, he realized that orderliness instilled discipline and a sense of pride in his possessions. This habit of maintaining an organized space translated into greater focus and success in other areas of his life, teaching him that the environment you create directly influences how you think and perform.

“You can design your life by designing your environment.”

Design your environment to support your goals. If you want to do better work, reduce clutter in your office. A study by the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute found that when people intentionally organize their space, they’ll find it easier to stay focused, motivated, and productive. You can apply this same principle to other areas of your life. For instance, you can motivate yourself to exercise by putting your hand weights on your bedside table. Or you can make sure healthy foods are easy to see and access in your kitchen to support healthier eating habits.

Attract the opportunities you want; don’t chase them.

Pompliano started to become successful quite early in his career. However, his success didn’t expand beyond the large company where he worked. He struggled to gain recognition outside of it and to connect with top entrepreneurs from other investment firms. Frustrated by his lack of progress in reaching new prospects through methods like cold emailing, he began sharing his thoughts and insights online on social media platforms and podcasts.By consistently sharing authentic content, he built a large following, eventually leading those entrepreneurs he wished to connect with to seek him out — flipping the dynamic in his favor.

“It is a much better situation when people chase you instead of you chasing them.”

Being a magnet for opportunities is more effective than chasing them because it allows you to attract the right people and opportunities without the exhaustion of constant pursuit. To become a magnet for the things you want, focus on developing and showcasing your unique strengths and passions in a way that draws others to you. For example, if you aim for a particular career, create projects or content demonstrating your expertise and interests in that field. By building something valuable and authentic, you naturally attract like-minded individuals and opportunities that align with your goals, making it easier for success to come to you.

Genuinely care about the people in your life and the things you do.

Caring about people and what you do — whether you’re working or just practicing your hobbies — gives you a natural advantage: It drives you to put in the extra effort, stay curious, and build deeper connections with others. For years, Pompliano thought he wanted to become a lawyer — a career at which everyone told him he would excel. However, as he grew older, he realized he had no passion for the law. He took a step back and explored what truly energized him. This exercise led him to pursue a career in business and technology. When you care deeply about something, it doesn’t feel like work; instead, it becomes something you look forward to and feel fulfilled doing.

“Be curious, be genuine, and be honest.”

Reflect on which activities or topics spark genuine feelings of excitement. Pay attention to what you gravitate toward in your free time or which conversations energize you. Once you identify the areas where your interests lie, lean into them by learning more, setting goals, or integrating them more fully into your daily routine. By focusing on what matters to you, you’ll naturally develop a more substantial commitment and enthusiasm, leading to greater success and fulfillment without the feeling of forced effort.

Acquiring as much knowledge as you can helps you make the best decisions.

The person with the most relevant knowledge typically gains the upper hand in most scenarios. For example, Pompliano negotiated a lower rent for an apartment in New York City by gathering as much data as he could on comparable unit prices, ultimately swaying the owner to lower his asking price. Conversely, Pompliano missed out on a more significant pay rise at work because he wasn’t knowledgeable about good negotiation strategies. These experiences taught him that being well-informed is like holding a form of currency: it can open doors and give you leverage in any situation.

“Information runs the world.”

Make it a habit to research thoroughly before making decisions, big or small. This could involve gathering data, seeking expert opinions, or studying similar cases. For instance, if you want to negotiate a good salary, research industry standards and your company’s pay structure and prepare evidence of your contributions. By consistently prioritizing information-gathering, you set yourself up to make better choices and take advantage of more opportunities.

Travel to expand your perspective and gain experience.

You cannot live an extraordinary life by always staying in the same place. You can learn a lot about the world from books and other people, but these approaches pale compared to packing a bag and traveling to different places yourself.On a trip to Nigeria in 2017, Pompliano and his friend decided against visiting the typical tourist areas and, instead, stayed in the heart of Lagos. There, the two friends experienced the stark contrast between the country’s challenges — such as high levels of poverty and infrastructure issues — and its potential. At one point during their trip, a police officer pulled their Uber over and demanded a bribe. The strange experience underscored how people around the globe lived a “different reality” than he did and taught Pompliano to appreciate his privileges more.

“You can’t understand the world if you never see it.”

To grow your perspective, prioritize exploration, even if it’s close to home. You don’t have to fly across the world to gain new points of view; start with trips to different cities or regions. As you expand your travel, focus on immersing yourself in local culture — skip the tourist spots and seek out authentic experiences by interacting with locals, trying regional foods, and learning about the community. Whether it’s a small town nearby or a country abroad, each place offers unique lessons that broaden your understanding of the world and enrich your life.

About the Author

Anthony Pompliano is an entrepreneur and investor. He founded and currently serves as CEO of Professional Capital Management.