How Can You Learn To Be Charismatic Even If You Have Social Anxiety?

What Are The Three Core Traits Of Charisma That Create A Magnetic Personality?

Discover the science of influence with this summary of Bryan Clark’s What Makes People Charismatic. Learn how to blend presence, power, and warmth to build genuine connections and improve your storytelling skills. Stop letting self-doubt hold you back from making real connections. Continue reading to learn the practical steps for developing the presence and warmth that naturally draw people in.

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Pop quiz hotshot: Think of someone who oozes charisma. Maybe you’ll conjure images of suave James Bond, captivating Beyoncé, or confident Barack Obama. Now try to define what it means to be charismatic. That’s a tougher task. Charisma is an enigmatic quality. You know it when you see it, but what exactly is that “it” factor? Journalist Bryan Clark attempts to define charisma and explain how you can increase yours.

Take-Aways

• Charisma is not an innate skill.
• People who exhibit charisma radiate magnetism.
• Charisma is a blend of three traits: “presence, power,” and “warmth.”
• Storytelling is the gateway to charisma.

Summary

Charisma is not an innate skill.

As a species, humans are naturally drawn to charismatic people — TV personalities like Oprah Winfrey, fictional characters like James Bond, or historical figures like Martin Luther King, for instance. But what exactly is charisma? It’s an enigmatic attribute that is difficult to define.

“Charismatic people are well liked…because of how they make others feel.”

Charisma has beguiled experts throughout the ages. The ancient Greeks described charisma as a “gift of grace,” believing that it was a divine trait bestowed on some but not all. However, charisma is a learned skill that you can strengthen with practice.

People who exhibit charisma radiate magnetism.

Individuals who boast high levels of charisma have magnetic personalities — people are drawn to them, often without knowing why.

“Charisma is all about signaling information in a symbolic, emotional, and value-based manner.” (John Antonakis, professor of organizational behavior)

Your ability to gauge another person’s charisma likely developed for evolutionary reasons. During every interaction, your brain processes scores of data points about the people you encounter — including their words and their body language. Those cues inform your intuition about people, cluing you in on what their agenda is, whether they represent a threat, and whether they are deserving of your attention.

Charisma is a blend of three traits: “presence, power,” and “warmth.”

Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, explains that charisma encompasses three factors:

• Presence — Be fully alert when speaking to another person. Be mindful of your breath, your emotions, and your environment.
• Power — Cast your imposter syndrome to one side. Act as though you belong. Relegate any self-doubt to the sidelines. Know that you are capable, that you are enough, and that your contributions are valuable.
• Warmth — This quality is the sense of kindness you get from a loved one. Charismatic people exude this trait, conjuring feelings of warmth even in those they have just met.

Just as intelligence isn’t a standard benchmark — one person can excel at math, another at art, for instance — neither is charisma. Highly charismatic people blend the three factors in unique ways. For instance, Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, exhibited high levels of presence and power but lacked warmth. Actress Emilia Clarke displays high levels of warmth and presence but lacks power. A strong command of the three facets of charisma is rare, but Martin Luther King mastered all three.

Storytelling is the gateway to charisma.

Telling stories, according to John Antonakis, a professor of organizational behavior, is the easiest way to earn charisma points. Charismatic people are accomplished at imparting anecdotes, speaking in metaphors, and making astute comparisons, all while maximizing the use of their voice, facial expressions, and gestures to add substance to their words. They manage to encapsulate the thoughts of groups, and they ask questions to hold their listeners’ attention.

“The most charismatic people are often the most effective public speakers.”

Though charismatic people tend to be good public speakers, not all good public speakers boast charisma. Charisma runs much deeper than charm, a good sense of humor, and an ability to recount a good story: Highly charismatic people have the ability to make the person with whom they are speaking feel as though they are the only person who matters at that moment. They shun distractions and offer their full attention. They conjure positive feelings within listeners — a moreish trait that explains their magnetism.

Increasing your charisma takes practice. Start by eliminating your self-doubt. Resolve to join in more conversations, accept more invitations to social engagements, and take a public speaking class. Every encounter gives you an opportunity to practice being more likable and to heighten your charisma.

About the Author

Bryan Clark is a journalist who examines the intersection of technology and culture. His work has appeared in The New York Times, Medium, Business Insider, and HuffPost, among others.