Table of Contents
How New Managers Become Successful Managers?
Discover actionable advice for new managers from “What to Do When You Become the Boss” by Bob Selden. Learn how to build high-performing teams, set clear expectations, give effective feedback, manage transitions, and master self-management. Perfect for first-time leaders seeking practical strategies to excel in their new role.
Ready to transform your management journey? Dive into the full article to uncover step-by-step strategies that will help you lead with confidence, inspire your team, and achieve lasting career success.
Genres
Personal Development, Management, Leadership, Career Success
Introduction: Manage better.
What to Do When You Become the Boss (2007) offers practical strategies for effectively managing in all directions: upward, downward, and inward. This accessible manual covers essential management skills from team leadership and performance management to decision-making and self-management, serving as both an introduction for new managers and a reference tool for experienced leaders navigating workplace challenges.
So, you’ve been promoted to management. Congratulations! The pay is better, but the job? That’s another story. Remember when you knew exactly what success looked like in your role? Now the markers have shifted. Your technical skills got you here, but suddenly, you’re juggling team dynamics, unclear expectations, and conversations no one trained you to have.
Such moments of doubt are part of every new manager’s journey. The sleepless nights worrying about how to motivate that underperforming team member or navigate conflict between colleagues? Completely normal. Every successful manager has stood exactly where you are now, feeling that same uncertainty.
This summary offers the practical wisdom that experienced managers wish someone had shared with them during their first leadership role. It spells out what works. And it helps you take clearer steps, right from the start.
If that sounds good, let’s get right into it.
It starts with your team
Let’s start right away with the bad news: most people are promoted to management because they’re great at something that isn’t management. Then the job hits – with budgets to balance, reviews to run, strategy to lead, and conflicts to sort out. It’s a lot, and it hits fast.
But here’s the good news: managing effectively really boils down to just two components: task focus and relationship focus. Task focus means getting things done – setting goals, making plans, hitting targets. You’ve already shown you can do that – that’s why you’re now a manager. So in this summary, we’ll concentrate on that second focus, beginning, in this section, with team building.
How do you build a team, you might be asking? But here’s another question: Do you even have a team? You might be in charge of a team that needs to collaborate. You might also be managing a group who work independently. This team-group distinction should inform your management approach. To manage a group, focus on one-on-one communication and use meetings primarily for information sharing.
If you do have a team, your approach should begin with an honest assessment of its dynamics. Once you’ve taken a good look at how your team works together, you can make targeted improvements to fix specific issues you’ve spotted.
Start with what you see. If the team feels disconnected, that’s your signal to step in. Do team members work in their own bubbles? If so, create projects that mix people from different areas and set up regular show-and-tell sessions. When people work alone too much, connect their deliverables so they have to collaborate. And where you observe knowledge gaps, pair up team members so they can learn from each other.
Once you’ve addressed the team structure, zoom in on individuals. Talk to each person about what drives them. Then, where it makes sense, align their personal goals with your team objectives. For example, when someone wants to develop specific skills, create opportunities for them to practice within team projects.
Remember, one of your strongest management tools is this dual perspective. When you understand both the group dynamic and what motivates each person, you can create an environment that brings out the best in both.
That’s the groundwork. Now let’s look at what happens when a manager misses something foundational – and how to fix it.
Clear expectations set you up for success
Meet Sarah. Sarah was recently promoted to team manager based on her stellar performance as a marketing specialist. Excited about building relationships with her new team, she focuses on creating a positive atmosphere and being approachable. But then comes the surprise. Her boss says the team is underperforming.
Confused, Sarah talks to her team. That’s when she uncovers the real problem: people don’t know what’s expected of them. They’re unclear on priorities. They don’t know what good work looks like. And they aren’t sure how they’re being measured.
Despite her best intentions, Sarah skipped a core part of management: setting clear expectations.
Your people genuinely want to perform well. But even the most talented employees need structure and guidance to succeed. As a manager, it’s your job to define team roles and make sure each person understands what’s expected. How can you do this?
One way is to reframe how you think about roles. This involves defining roles through outputs rather than inputs. Outputs describe the result. For example, instead of saying a Head of Customer Service “supervising operations of the customer service team.” An output-focused role description could describe that same duty as “ensuring 95 percent customer satisfaction while maintaining efficiency standards.” This output-focused approach immediately clarifies what success looks like.
But who creates these role descriptions? Well, you do – but not on your own. Work with the person in the role to develop a shared understanding of what their job entails. This collaborative approach often reveals aspects of the role you might have overlooked.
Once roles are defined, work with each team member to set performance standards. These should be specific and measurable. Think quantity – like the number of units produced or customers served. Then comes quality – these can be error rates or customer satisfaction scores. And finally, time – these could be deadlines met or response times.
By taking time upfront to establish clear expectations, you create the foundation for high performance. Your team members will thank you for the clarity. And you’ll all spend less time addressing problems and more time celebrating successes.
But expectations alone aren’t enough. To keep people aligned and performing, they need to hear how they’re doing – regularly, and clearly. That brings us to one of the most misunderstood tools in a manager’s toolkit: feedback.
Some feedback on feedback
Sometimes feedback sounds like this: “So…great weather we’ve been having, right? Anyway, the project is coming along nicely. Oh, and your reports have been late and missing detail. That presentation last week? Good job, though.”
If you’ve ever delivered feedback this way – or been on the receiving end of it – you know it doesn’t work. This approach buries the message in pleasantries, mixes praise with criticism, and leaves everyone confused about what matters and what needs to change.
There’s a better way – and it’s all about getting straight to the point. Forget the notorious feedback sandwich where criticism hides between layers of praise. This mixed approach only dilutes your message and leaves your reports wondering what you really mean. Instead, be clear about your purpose from the moment the conversation begins. Your directness shows respect for their time and intelligence. Something more along the lines of this: “I’ve noticed your market analysis reports lack the competitive positioning data we need for strategy decisions.”
This clarity extends to keeping positive feedback separate. When you schedule distinct conversations for both positive and constructive feedback, you create space for both messages to land properly. Your team members won’t develop anxiety every time you call them into your office, wondering what bad news is coming after the obligatory compliment.
Once you’ve established this clear framework, you need to watch your language. Using “I” messages transforms your feedback from accusation to observation. For example, don’t say, “You’re always late with your reports.” Instead, say, “I noticed the last three reports missed their deadlines.” The first approach creates defensiveness. The second opens the door to collaborative problem-solving.
And when someone improves, acknowledge it. Instead of just saying “good job”, try something like: “When you helped that new team member learn our systems, it accelerated their productivity and demonstrated the leadership qualities we value.” Now they know exactly what made the difference – and how it mattered.
These principles build upon each other naturally when you reinforce improvement consistently. When you acknowledge positive changes in areas you’ve previously discussed, you create a clear cause-and-effect relationship between your feedback and their growth.
By transforming feedback from dreaded encounters into valuable conversations, you’ll unlock your team’s potential. Done right, it builds trust, boosts motivation, and helps people grow in real time.
And that growth? It doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Teams change. People move on. Which brings us to the next element of leading well – managing transitions.
Manage employee transitions
You’ve cultivated team spirit, established clear expectations, and enhanced performance through thoughtful feedback. Your team now runs smoothly. However, the dynamic nature of teams means people will inevitably come and go. Learning to effectively hire and fire is essential for maintaining your team’s excellence over time.
Good hiring begins long before the interview stage. Start by thoroughly analyzing the position through conversations with those who understand it best. Ask them about critical situations or challenges that someone in this role typically faces. These insights will illuminate the truly necessary attributes, experiences, and behaviors required for success, beyond what might appear on a typical job description.
With that clarity, you can now define your hiring criteria. Separate the must-haves from the nice-to-haves. Then, write compelling job descriptions and recruitment strategies that attract the right candidates – not the most. Focus on people whose values and working styles fit the team. During interviews, employ behavior description techniques that reveal past actions rather than hypothetical responses. For example, if you ask, “Tell me about a time when you had to deliver with limited resources,” you gain insight into how candidates actually perform under pressure.
Letting someone go is harder – but it needs the same care. Before proceeding, carefully evaluate whether termination is truly necessary or if performance issues might be addressed through targeted coaching and support. Many managers rush toward termination when development might salvage both the situation and a potentially valuable team member.
If you’ve done that work and the problem remains, documentation matters. Keep clear records of performance issues, missed goals, or policy violations. This documentation protects everyone involved and grounds the difficult decision in objective facts rather than subjective feelings.
Finally, manage the termination process with sensitivity while monitoring its ripple effects throughout your team. Address concerns openly while respecting the departed employee’s privacy and dignity. A poorly handled termination can fracture trust across your entire team, while a respectful one, though never easy, demonstrates your commitment to maintaining standards while treating people humanely.
Managing happens in all directions
Unless you’ve been promoted straight to CEO – kudos if you have – you’ll need to manage more than just your direct reports. Managing sideways and upwards is equally important for your success.
Sideways means working with peer managers from other departments who rely on your team’s cooperation. You might coordinate with marketing on product launches, align with finance on budgets, and collaborate with IT on system upgrades affecting your workflow. These partnerships require skillful negotiation, especially when priorities compete.
Looking upward, senior managers evaluate your performance, allocate resources, and make decisions affecting your team. Your boss likely faces pressure from their own manager, creating expectations that cascade to you.
To manage these relationships well, start by clarifying expectations. Ask your manager directly about priorities for your performance areas. Schedule a focused conversation to discuss not just what needs doing, but how success will be measured. You should also ask which projects should take priority when time constraints emerge. Such early conversations prevent the frustration of discovering misaligned expectations during reviews.
As you work with your manager, follow four golden rules that successful managers live by. First, no surprises ever – keep your boss informed ahead of time about developments, good or bad. Second, never hide problems – transparency builds trust even when sharing difficulties. Third, always do your homework – come prepared with data and options. Fourth, don’t undercut your manager – support their decisions publicly even when you’ve disagreed privately.
Understanding how your manager works is part of your job. Notice if they prefer big-picture thinking or detailed analysis, morning meetings or afternoon decisions. When your styles differ, adapt thoughtfully. If they want brief updates while you prefer comprehensive reports, create concise summaries with detailed appendices.
By managing effectively in all directions – not just downward – you’ll build the support network and influence needed for both personal success and team achievement. But even when every relationship around you is working well, there’s one you still need to manage carefully – your relationship with yourself.
Remember to manage yourself
Let’s meet Elena. She’s a marketing manager with a big problem. Her team consistently delivers outstanding campaigns. She’s built strong relationships with other department heads. Her boss showcases her work to senior leadership. By all external measures, Elena exemplifies management success. Have you spotted the problem yet?
But here’s what you don’t see right away. Elena checks email at midnight, cancels vacations repeatedly, and deals with constant headaches. Last week, she missed her daughter’s recital to fix a client issue her team could have handled. This morning, she snapped at a colleague over a minor miscommunication. She manages everything – except herself.
New managers fall into this trap all the time. A good starting point is to track your work hours honestly – not just the time you spend in meetings or at your desk, but those constant little check-ins that quietly extend your workday. Noticing the pattern is the first step to changing it.
With this awareness, you can start to set meaningful boundaries you’ll actually follow. Establish when you’ll be unavailable and actually honor these limits. Turn off notifications during personal time and communicate these boundaries clearly to your team. These limits not only protect your well-being but also model healthy work habits for your colleagues.
Despite good boundaries, stress is an inevitable part of management. So, learn to recognize your personal warning signs – these could be disrupted sleep, physical tension, or difficulty concentrating. When these signals appear, take immediate action rather than pushing through. Even short breaks can reset your mental state and prevent unnecessary conflicts.
Effective delegation complements these self-care practices. Identify your team members’ strengths, assign appropriate tasks, and provide necessary resources – then trust them to deliver. This shift from doing to enabling requires regular, proactive communication about capacity and workload before crisis points emerge.
With your time protected through delegation and clear boundaries, you can focus on distinguishing between urgent and important work. Schedule dedicated time for strategic thinking and professional development – activities that are rarely urgent but always important for long-term success.
By managing yourself with the same care you bring to managing others, you’ll build a foundation for lasting success that benefits both you and your organization.
Conclusion
In this summary to What to Do When You Become the Boss by Bob Selden, you’ve learned that becoming a successful manager requires mastering the balance between tasks and relationships while navigating challenges in every direction—downward, upward, and inward.
You now understand the importance of building a cohesive team by assessing dynamics and aligning individual goals with group objectives. Clear expectations and structured feedback are key to unlocking performance, while thoughtful hiring and compassionate transitions maintain team excellence. Managing sideways and upward is just as critical as leading your own team, requiring adaptability and proactive communication. Finally, self-management – setting boundaries, delegating effectively, and prioritizing well-being – ensures you sustain success without burnout. By applying these principles, you’ll create a thriving environment where both you and your team can excel.