Why I Chose Love Over Friendship in Marriage and What It Taught Me About Lasting Relationships

Should You Marry Your Best Friend? One Woman's Journey to Finding True Love Instead

Discover why choosing love over friendship in marriage can lead to deeper connections. Learn how shared values, separate social circles, and intentional communication create stronger relationships than the "marry your best friend" myth suggests. Real insights from someone who chose differently.

Ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about finding your perfect partner? Continue reading to discover the surprising truth about why marrying for love instead of friendship might be the key to your happiest relationship yet – and how to build an unbreakable bond that goes beyond conventional wisdom.

In today's society, there is often a pressure to marry your best friend. The idea is that marrying your best friend will lead to a successful and fulfilling marriage. After all, who better to spend the rest of your life with than someone who knows you inside and out, someone who has been there through thick and thin? While there is certainly merit to this idea, it is important to recognize that love and friendship are not mutually exclusive. In fact, choosing love over friendship can lead to a deeper and more meaningful connection with your spouse.

Key Takeaways

• Marrying your best friend is a common societal pressure, but it's important to prioritize love over friendship.
• Shared values are crucial for a successful marriage, regardless of whether your spouse is your best friend or not.
• The idea of a perfect best friend spouse is a myth, and it's important to recognize and accept your partner's flaws.
• Having separate social circles can bring benefits to a marriage, such as maintaining individuality and avoiding codependency.
• Building a strong friendship within marriage requires effort and communication, but it can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.

Why I Chose Love Over Friendship

I have personally experienced the choice between love and friendship in my own marriage. When I met my spouse, we were friends first. We had a strong bond and enjoyed spending time together, but there was something more between us. We fell in love, and despite the pressure to marry your best friend, we chose to pursue a romantic relationship.

Choosing love over friendship has had a profound impact on our marriage. It has allowed us to experience a level of intimacy and passion that may not have been possible if we had remained just friends. While friendship is important in any relationship, love brings an added depth and intensity that can enhance the connection between two people.

The Importance of Shared Values in Marriage

While marrying your best friend may seem like the ideal situation, it is important to recognize the importance of shared values in a marriage. Shared values provide a foundation for a strong and lasting relationship. When two people have similar beliefs, goals, and priorities, they are more likely to navigate life's challenges together and support each other's growth.

In my own marriage, shared values have played a crucial role in our happiness and success as a couple. We have similar views on family, career, and personal growth, which has allowed us to align our lives and work towards common goals. This shared vision has brought us closer together and given us a sense of purpose and direction in our marriage.

The Myth of the Perfect Best Friend Spouse

While the idea of marrying your best friend may seem like a fairy tale, it is important to recognize that it is not always the case. The notion that a best friend spouse is the perfect partner can be misleading and unrealistic. In reality, no one person can fulfill all of our needs and expectations.

It is important to have a realistic understanding of what a healthy and fulfilling marriage looks like. While friendship is important, it is just one aspect of a successful relationship. It is equally important to have passion, romance, and shared values. By focusing solely on finding a best friend spouse, we may overlook other important qualities and miss out on the opportunity for a truly fulfilling partnership.

The Benefits of Having Separate Social Circles in Marriage

One of the benefits of choosing love over friendship in marriage is the opportunity to have separate social circles. While it is important to have shared experiences and friends as a couple, having separate social circles can bring diversity and new experiences to your marriage.

Having separate social circles allows each partner to maintain their individuality and pursue their own interests. It provides an opportunity for personal growth and can prevent feelings of suffocation or codependency within the relationship. Additionally, having separate social circles can bring new perspectives and ideas into the marriage, fostering growth and learning for both partners.

How to Build a Strong Friendship Within Marriage

While choosing love over friendship does not mean neglecting the importance of friendship in a marriage, it does require intentional effort to build a strong friendship within the relationship. Communication is key in any friendship, and it is no different in a marriage. Taking the time to listen to each other, share experiences, and support each other's dreams and goals can help foster a strong friendship.

Quality time is also essential in building a strong friendship within marriage. Making time for each other, whether it's through date nights, shared hobbies, or simply spending time together without distractions, can help deepen the bond between partners. It is important to prioritize the friendship aspect of the relationship and make an effort to nurture it on a regular basis.

The Danger of Settling for Your Best Friend

While there is nothing wrong with marrying your best friend, it is important to recognize the danger of settling for this ideal. Settling for your best friend can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in the long run. It is important to be honest with yourself and your partner about your true feelings and desires.

Choosing love over friendship means being open to the possibility of falling in love with someone unexpected. It means being willing to take risks and explore new relationships. By settling for your best friend, you may miss out on the opportunity for a deeper and more fulfilling connection with someone else.

The Role of Communication in a Non-Best Friend Marriage

In a non-best friend marriage, communication plays a crucial role in building a strong relationship. Without the foundation of a deep friendship, it is even more important to be open and honest with each other about your needs, desires, and expectations.

Effective communication involves active listening, empathy, and understanding. It requires being vulnerable and willing to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. By prioritizing communication in your marriage, you can build a strong foundation of trust and understanding that will help navigate any challenges that may arise.

The Freedom of Pursuing Different Interests in Marriage

One of the joys of choosing love over friendship in marriage is the freedom to pursue different interests. While it is important to have shared experiences and hobbies as a couple, it is equally important to maintain your individuality and pursue your own passions.

By pursuing different interests, you can bring new perspectives and excitement into your relationship. It allows each partner to grow and learn independently, which can ultimately enhance the connection between partners. Embracing the freedom to pursue different interests can lead to a more dynamic and fulfilling marriage.

The Joy of Falling in Love with Someone Unexpected

Choosing love over friendship means being open to the possibility of falling in love with someone unexpected. This can be a truly joyful and transformative experience. Falling in love with someone unexpected can bring a sense of excitement and adventure to your life.

When you choose love over friendship, you open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences. You allow yourself to be vulnerable and take risks. Falling in love with someone unexpected can lead to a fulfilling and happy marriage that surpasses the limitations of a best friend relationship.

While there is often pressure to marry your best friend, it is important to prioritize love and shared values over this ideal. Choosing love over friendship can lead to a deeper and more meaningful connection with your spouse. It allows for passion, romance, and personal growth within the relationship.

Shared values provide a foundation for a strong and lasting marriage, while having separate social circles can bring diversity and new experiences into the relationship. Building a strong friendship within marriage requires communication, shared experiences, and quality time. By choosing love over friendship, you open yourself up to the possibility of falling in love with someone unexpected, leading to a fulfilling and happy marriage.