10 Essential Agreements Every Couple Should Make to Build a Happy and Lasting Marriage

A happy and lasting marriage is not a fairy tale, but a result of mutual understanding and commitment. Here are 10 essential agreements every couple should make to build a strong and healthy relationship.

Marriage is one of the most important and rewarding relationships in life, but it also comes with its own challenges and difficulties. No two marriages are alike, and every couple has their own unique dynamics, preferences, and expectations. However, there are some common principles and practices that can help any marriage thrive and grow over time.

10 Essential Agreements Every Couple Should Make to Build a Happy and Lasting Marriage

One of these practices is to make agreements with your spouse on various aspects of your relationship, such as communication, finances, intimacy, parenting, household chores, personal growth, and more. Agreements are not rules or contracts that bind you to certain behaviors or outcomes, but rather guidelines that help you align your values, goals, and actions with your partner. Agreements also help you avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, and resentment that can erode the trust and love in your marriage.

In this article, we will share 10 essential agreements that every couple should make to build a happy and lasting marriage. By following these agreements, you will not only improve your relationship with your spouse, but also demonstrate your credibility and relevance to the search engines and your readers.

Table of Contents

Agreement #1: We will communicate openly and respectfully
Agreement #2: We will manage our finances responsibly and transparently
Agreement #3: We will nurture our intimacy and romance
Agreement #4: We will co-parent our children effectively and lovingly
Agreement #5: We will share our household chores fairly and efficiently
Agreement #6: We will support each other’s personal growth and happiness
Agreement #7: We will respect and honor each other’s differences and uniqueness
Agreement #8: We will maintain our health and wellness
Agreement #9: We will have fun and laugh together
Agreement #10: We will renew and reaffirm our vows
Summary
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Agreement #1: We will communicate openly and respectfully

Communication is the foundation of any relationship, and especially in marriage. Communication allows you to express your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires to your partner, and to listen and understand theirs. Communication also helps you resolve conflicts, make decisions, and support each other.

However, communication is not always easy or effective. Sometimes, you may have different communication styles, preferences, or habits that can cause misunderstandings, arguments, or hurt feelings. For example, you may prefer to talk things out, while your partner may need some space and time to process. Or, you may use sarcasm or jokes to lighten the mood, while your partner may find them offensive or insensitive.

To communicate openly and respectfully, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how, when, and what to communicate. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you ignore me” instead of “You are so rude and selfish”.
To avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking each other, and instead focus on the problem and the solution.
To listen actively and empathetically, without interrupting, judging, or dismissing each other.
To ask questions and clarify if you are not sure what your partner means or wants.
To choose a suitable time and place to have important or difficult conversations, and avoid distractions or interruptions.
To express appreciation and gratitude for each other, and acknowledge each other’s efforts and achievements.

Agreement #2: We will manage our finances responsibly and transparently

Finances are one of the most common sources of stress and conflict in marriage. Money can affect many aspects of your relationship, such as your lifestyle, your goals, your security, and your freedom. Money can also reflect your values, beliefs, and attitudes towards yourself and your partner.

To manage your finances responsibly and transparently, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to budget, save, spend, invest, and share your money. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To have a joint account for shared expenses, such as mortgage, utilities, groceries, and childcare, and separate accounts for personal expenses, such as hobbies, entertainment, and gifts.
To set a monthly or yearly budget for your income and expenses, and track your cash flow regularly.
To save a certain percentage of your income for emergencies, retirement, or other long-term goals, and invest wisely and diversely.
To spend within your means, and avoid unnecessary or impulsive purchases.
To consult each other before making any large or significant financial decisions, such as buying a car, a house, or a vacation.
To be honest and transparent about your financial situation, and disclose any debts, loans, or assets that you have.

Agreement #3: We will nurture our intimacy and romance

Intimacy and romance are vital components of a happy and lasting marriage. Intimacy and romance allow you to connect with your partner on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level, and to express your love, affection, and attraction for each other. Intimacy and romance also enhance your satisfaction, happiness, and well-being in your relationship.

However, intimacy and romance can fade or fluctuate over time, due to various factors, such as stress, work, children, aging, health, or boredom. Sometimes, you may feel disconnected, distant, or dissatisfied with your partner, or lose interest or desire for each other.

To nurture your intimacy and romance, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to maintain, improve, and spice up your sexual and emotional relationship. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To prioritize quality time and attention for each other, and schedule regular dates, outings, or trips together.
To be adventurous and creative in your sexual activities, and try new things, positions, or toys that you both enjoy and consent to.
To communicate your needs, preferences, and fantasies to each other, and respect each other’s boundaries and comfort levels.
To compliment, praise, and admire each other, and show your appreciation and affection through words, gestures, or gifts.
To cuddle, hug, kiss, and touch each other often, and create a warm and cozy atmosphere in your bedroom.
To be faithful and loyal to each other, and avoid any temptations or affairs that can jeopardize your trust and commitment.

Agreement #4: We will co-parent our children effectively and lovingly

Children are one of the greatest blessings and joys in marriage, but they also bring new challenges and responsibilities. Children can affect your relationship with your partner, such as your time, energy, attention, and resources. Children can also expose your differences, conflicts, or issues with your partner, such as your parenting styles, values, or expectations.

To co-parent your children effectively and lovingly, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to raise, educate, and discipline your children. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To have a shared vision and mission for your family, and set clear and realistic goals and expectations for your children.
To be consistent and united in your parenting decisions, and support each other’s authority and role as parents.
To adopt a positive and respectful parenting approach, and avoid yelling, spanking, or shaming your children.
To teach your children good values, morals, and habits, and model them by your own example.
To encourage your children’s talents, interests, and passions, and provide them with opportunities and resources to develop them.
To spend quality time and attention with your children, and be involved and supportive in their lives.

Agreement #5: We will share our household chores fairly and efficiently

Household chores are one of the most mundane and tedious aspects of marriage, but they are also essential and unavoidable. Household chores can affect your relationship with your partner, such as your comfort, convenience, and cleanliness. Household chores can also cause resentment, frustration, or arguments with your partner, especially if they are not done properly, timely, or fairly.

To share your household chores fairly and efficiently, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to divide, delegate, and complete your household tasks. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To make a list of all the household chores that need to be done, such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, etc., and assign them to each other based on your availability, ability, and preference.
To set a schedule or a deadline for each chore, and stick to it as much as possible.
To use tools or apps that can help you organize, track, or automate your household chores, such as calendars, reminders, timers, or smart devices.
To appreciate and acknowledge each other’s efforts and contributions, and avoid criticizing or nagging each other.
To help each other out when needed, and offer assistance or support when one of you is sick, busy, or tired.
To make household chores fun and enjoyable, and turn them into a bonding or a learning opportunity.

Agreement #6: We will support each other’s personal growth and happiness

Personal growth and happiness are important for your own well-being, but they are also beneficial for your marriage. Personal growth and happiness allow you to discover and develop yourself, and to pursue your passions and purposes in life. Personal growth and happiness also make you a better and happier partner, and enhance your relationship with your spouse.

However, personal growth and happiness can sometimes be neglected or compromised in marriage, due to various reasons, such as lack of time, resources, or motivation. Sometimes, you may feel stuck, bored, or unhappy with yourself, or lose sight of your dreams and goals.

To support each other’s personal growth and happiness, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to encourage, inspire, and empower each other. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To have your own hobbies, interests, and activities, and respect each other’s space and time to enjoy them.
To have your own friends, mentors, and networks, and allow each other to socialize and connect with them.
To have your own goals, plans, and projects, and help each other to achieve and accomplish.
To challenge and motivate each other to learn new skills, acquire new knowledge, or try new experiences.
To celebrate and appreciate each other’s achievements, successes, and milestones, and offer constructive feedback or advice when needed.
To support and comfort each other in times of difficulties, failures, or setbacks, and help each other to overcome them.

Agreement #7: We will respect and honor each other’s differences and uniqueness

Differences and uniqueness are inevitable and natural in any relationship, and especially in marriage. Differences and uniqueness can refer to your personality, background, culture, religion, values, beliefs, opinions, preferences, and more. Differences and uniqueness can enrich and diversify your relationship, and help you learn and grow from each other.

However, differences and uniqueness can also cause conflicts, disagreements, or misunderstandings with your partner, especially if they are not respected or honored. Sometimes, you may feel frustrated, annoyed, or offended by your partner’s differences, or try to change or convince them to be more like you.

To respect and honor each other’s differences and uniqueness, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to accept, appreciate, and celebrate your diversity. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To acknowledge and understand each other’s differences and uniqueness, and avoid making assumptions or stereotypes about each other.
To respect and tolerate each other’s differences and uniqueness, and avoid imposing or forcing your views or choices on each other.
To appreciate and value each other’s differences and uniqueness, and avoid comparing or criticizing each other.
To compromise and accommodate each other’s differences and uniqueness, and find a middle ground or a win-win solution when possible.
To learn and explore each other’s differences and uniqueness, and be open-minded and curious about each other.
To celebrate and embrace each other’s differences and uniqueness, and show your admiration and pride for each other.

Agreement #8: We will maintain our health and wellness

Health and wellness are essential for your own well-being, but they are also important for your marriage. Health and wellness can affect your relationship with your partner, such as your mood, energy, performance, and longevity. Health and wellness can also influence your happiness, satisfaction, and quality of life in your relationship.

However, health and wellness can sometimes be neglected or compromised in marriage, due to various factors, such as stress, work, children, aging, or illness. Sometimes, you may feel unwell, tired, or unhappy with yourself, or worry about your partner’s health and wellness.

To maintain your health and wellness, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to take care of yourself and each other. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To eat a balanced and nutritious diet, and avoid junk food, alcohol, or drugs.
To exercise regularly and moderately, and find physical activities that you both enjoy and can do together.
To sleep well and enough, and follow a consistent and healthy sleep routine.
To manage your stress and emotions, and practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises.
To check your health and wellness regularly, and visit your doctor, dentist, or therapist when needed.
To support and encourage each other’s health and wellness goals, and help each other to stay motivated and accountable.

Agreement #9: We will have fun and laugh together

Fun and laughter are essential for a happy and lasting marriage. Fun and laughter allow you to enjoy and appreciate your relationship, and to create positive and memorable experiences with your partner. Fun and laughter also reduce your stress, boost your mood, and strengthen your bond and intimacy with your partner.

However, fun and laughter can sometimes be forgotten or overlooked in marriage, due to various reasons, such as routine, work, children, or problems. Sometimes, you may feel bored, dull, or unhappy with your relationship, or lose your sense of humor and playfulness.

To have fun and laugh together, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to inject some fun and laughter into your relationship. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To be spontaneous and adventurous, and try new things, places, or experiences that you both find exciting and fun.
To be playful and humorous, and tease, joke, or prank each other in a harmless and loving way.
To be silly and childish, and do things that make you laugh, such as watching a comedy, playing a game, or making funny faces.
To be nostalgic and sentimental, and reminisce about the good times, such as your first date, your wedding, or your honeymoon.
To be creative and expressive, and do things that make you happy, such as singing, dancing, or painting.
To be grateful and optimistic, and look at the bright side of things, and laugh at the challenges and difficulties that you face.

Agreement #10: We will renew and reaffirm our vows

Vows are the promises and commitments that you make to your partner when you get married. Vows are the foundation and the essence of your marriage, and they reflect your love, respect, and loyalty for each other. Vows are also the guide and the reminder of your relationship, and they help you stay focused and faithful to your partner.

However, vows can sometimes be taken for granted or forgotten in marriage, due to various factors, such as time, change, or temptation. Sometimes, you may feel disconnected, distant, or dissatisfied with your partner, or lose sight of your vows and what they mean to you.

To renew and reaffirm your vows, you need to make an agreement with your partner on how to keep your vows alive and relevant in your relationship. Some of the things you can agree on are:

To review and revise your vows periodically, and update them according to your current situation, needs, and desires.
To recite and repeat your vows regularly, and remind each other of your promises and commitments.
To honor and uphold your vows daily, and act in accordance with your vows and what they represent.
To celebrate and commemorate your vows annually, and mark your anniversary with a special gesture or event.
To renew and reaffirm your vows occasionally, and renew your wedding ceremony or exchange new rings or gifts.
To cherish and treasure your vows forever, and never break or betray your vows or your partner.

Summary

A happy and lasting marriage is not a fairy tale, but a result of mutual understanding and commitment. By making these 10 essential agreements with your partner, you can build a strong and healthy relationship that will stand the test of time and challenges. Remember, a happy and lasting marriage is not a destination, but a journey that you and your partner take together.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Question: What are some benefits of making agreements in marriage?

Answer: Some benefits of making agreements in marriage are:

They help you align your values, goals, and actions with your partner.
They help you avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, and resentment that can erode the trust and love in your marriage.
They help you improve your communication, cooperation, and collaboration with your partner.
They help you enhance your satisfaction, happiness, and well-being in your relationship.
They help you demonstrate your credibility and relevance to the search engines and your readers.

Question: How to make effective agreements in marriage?

Answer: Some tips for making effective agreements in marriage are:

Make them together with your partner, and involve them in the process and the outcome.
Make them specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely, and avoid vague or unrealistic agreements.
Make them flexible, adaptable, and negotiable, and allow for changes or adjustments when needed.
Make them voluntary, consensual, and mutual, and avoid forcing or coercing your partner to agree to something they don’t want or can’t do.
Make them positive, constructive, and supportive, and avoid negative, destructive, or punitive agreements.

Question: How to keep your agreements in marriage?

Answer: Some tips for keeping your agreements in marriage are:

Keep them in mind and in sight, and write them down or display them somewhere you can see them often.
Keep them in action and in practice, and follow them consistently and diligently.
Keep them in check and in review, and monitor your progress and results regularly.
Keep them in balance and in harmony, and don’t let them interfere with your other obligations or interests.
Keep them in love and in respect, and don’t use them as a weapon or a tool to manipulate or control your partner.