Article Summary to The Surprising Benefits of a Quiet Ego by Scott Barry Kaufman

This compelling concept promises profound inner contentment and a life enriched with authentic connections. Dive deeper into the journey of self-transcendence; continue reading to unlock the secrets to a fulfilling and balanced life.

Genres

Psychology, Self-Help, Personal Development, Mindfulness, Spiritual Growth, Cognitive Science, Well-being, Life Satisfaction, Resilience, Authenticity.

“The Surprising Benefits of a Quiet Ego” by Scott Barry Kaufman explores the concept of a quiet ego, which involves diminishing one’s self-focus to foster a greater connection with others and the surrounding world. The article presents humility as a virtue that, despite its decline in public discourse, offers significant psychological benefits.

A quiet ego does not equate to low self-esteem but rather indicates a balanced individual who can confidently face ego threats. This balance between self-interest and self-transcendence leads to numerous advantages, including self-compassion, authenticity, spiritual growth, flexible thinking, and a meaningful life.

Review

Kaufman’s article is a well-researched and insightful piece that challenges the modern culture of self-enhancement. It provides a refreshing perspective on the importance of humility and the quiet ego in achieving true contentment and personal growth. The article is grounded in scientific research and psychological literature, making it a credible and valuable resource for individuals seeking to improve their well-being and foster a more inclusive and mindful approach to life12.

Recommendation

In this brief, captivating article for Susan Cain, cognitive psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman outlines research showing the ancient teachers might have got it right: Transcending the self can bring inner peace and contentment – as well as a host of other benefits. Citing recent work in social psychology, Kaufman offers an intriguing insight into the culture of self-enhancement, arguing for a balance between self-esteem and the old-fashioned virtue of humility.

Take-Aways

• Having a quiet ego means turning down the volume on the self so you can listen to others and your surroundings.
• People who have a quiet ego feel present, connected to others, empathetic toward others and open to personal growth.
• A quiet ego brings many benefits, including greater empathy, compassion and inner peace, as well as reduced death anxiety.

Summary

Having a quiet ego means turning down the volume on the self so you can listen to others and your surroundings.

Humility, a once-celebrated virtue, seems to have fallen out of favor in modern times. In fact, the frequency and appearance of the words “humility” and “humbleness” in published works fell by 43.3% between 1901 and 2000. Nevertheless, psychological researchers have confirmed the importance of humility, or “the quiet ego.”

“Transcending, not enhancing, the self is the most powerful and direct pathway to contentment and inner peace.”

A quiet ego doesn’t imply a lack of self-esteem; rather, it reflects a person with strong self-worth who feels confident in the face of threats to the ego. Moreover, a quiet ego doesn’t necessarily mean a person has a quiet voice. The quiet ego doesn’t efface the self; rather, it balances self-interest and self-transcendence, turning the dial down on the self in order to listen to others with compassion. A quiet self enables people to keep the dark side of the ego – the self’s compulsions to deny its own frailties, avoid responsibility and defend itself against perceived threats – in check.

People who have a quiet ego feel present, connected to others, empathetic toward others and open to personal growth.

Social psychologists Heidi Wayment and Jack Bauer identified four facets to the quiet ego, all of which interconnect:

1. Low levels of “detached awareness” – Instead of doing tasks automatically or mindlessly, people with a quiet ego are mindful and present. They have an intense focus on their activities and surroundings.
2. An “inclusive identity” – Those with a quiet ego feel connected to all people. They are deeply caring and cooperative.
3. A habit of “perspective taking” – Humble people are adept at imagining other people’s points of view or feelings.
4. An emphasis on “personal growth” – People with a quiet ego value new experiences and see life as a process of constant learning and change.

“A quiet ego is an indication of a healthy self-esteem – one that acknowledges one’s own limitations, doesn’t need to constantly resort to defensiveness whenever the ego is threatened, and yet has a firm sense of self-worth and value.”

An inclusive identity and perspective taking contribute to empathy, compassion and cooperation. A low level of detached awareness helps you remain present, and the focus on personal growth complements this immediacy with a long-range view.

A quiet ego brings many benefits, including greater empathy, compassion and inner peace, as well as reduced death anxiety.

The benefits of a quiet ego are manifold. Researchers found a link between humility and the quest for personal growth, be it through learning, relationships or autonomy. Moreover, a quiet ego is indicative of healthy self-esteem and the presence of “self-transcendence” traits, such as self-compassion, authenticity, flexibility, resilience, satisfaction and a sense of meaning. In fact, a quiet ego is associated with an overall greater enjoyment of life.

“A quiet ego may have its volume turned down, but it is, in fact, the most powerful buffer against threats to the ego, including the biggest threat of them all: death.”

Death anxiety – consciously or unconsciously – motivates much of what people do, including the pursuit of wealth and status, religion or spirituality, and sex. High self-esteem can reduce death anxiety, but the effect reverses when a person perceives a threat to the ego. When that happens, anxiety increases. Research by psychologist Pelin Kesebir indicates that humility provides protection against death anxiety. Indeed, as an antidote to existential angst, a quiet ego is more powerful than mindfulness, overall virtuousness or a secure attachment style.

About the Author

Cognitive scientist Scott Barry Kaufman is scientific director of the Imagination Institute in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He researches the mind, creativity and human potential. His books include Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization and Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined.