Empowering Insights “I’m Not Yelling” Offers Invaluable Guidance for Black Women in the Workplace

In her compelling book “I’m Not Yelling,” Elizabeth Leiba offers powerful and essential guidance for Black women navigating the complex dynamics of the modern workplace. Drawing from her own experiences and expertise, Leiba provides invaluable insights and strategies to help Black women thrive professionally while overcoming unique challenges and biases.

Discover the empowering advice and practical strategies that every Black woman needs to succeed in her career. Keep reading to learn how “I’m Not Yelling” can help you confidently navigate workplace challenges and achieve your professional goals.

Genres

Self-help, Business, Women’s studies, African American studies, Career development, Diversity and inclusion, Leadership, Communication, Memoir, Sociology

“I’m Not Yelling” is an insightful and empowering guide for Black women seeking to navigate the complexities and challenges of the workplace. Author Elizabeth Leiba draws from her own professional experiences and expertise to offer invaluable advice, strategies, and perspectives.

The book explores the unique obstacles and biases that Black women often face in their careers, from microaggressions and stereotypes to pay inequity and limited advancement opportunities. Leiba provides practical tips and guidance for communicating effectively, advocating for oneself, building alliances, and developing leadership skills.

She also addresses the importance of self-care, boundary-setting, and maintaining authenticity in the face of pressure to conform. Throughout the book, Leiba interweaves personal anecdotes and real-world examples to illustrate her points and make the content relatable and actionable.

“I’m Not Yelling” is an essential resource for any Black woman looking to thrive professionally and overcome workplace challenges with confidence and grace.

Review

“I’m Not Yelling” is a must-read for Black women at any stage of their career journey. Elizabeth Leiba has created an invaluable resource filled with wisdom, encouragement, and practical strategies for navigating the workplace while staying true to oneself.

Leiba’s writing is candid, relatable, and empowering, making the book feel like a conversation with a trusted mentor. She fearlessly tackles difficult topics like bias, discrimination, and the emotional tax that Black women often face in professional settings, offering validation and support along with actionable advice.

The book strikes an effective balance between acknowledging challenges and focusing on solutions, empowering readers to take control of their careers and advocate for themselves. Leiba’s insights on communication, leadership, and professional development are relevant and beneficial to women in any field. “I’m Not Yelling” is a vital addition to any Black woman’s professional library, offering the guidance and support needed to thrive and succeed on one’s own terms.

Recommendation

If you’re a Black woman struggling to assert yourself in the workplace and achieve your full potential, you’re not alone. Gain insights from writer and college professor Elizabeth Leiba about the root causes of your so-called imposter syndrome and how to hold white people accountable for microaggressions. Leiba urges you to start writing your own life narrative to unlock opportunities and connect with a community of Black women who share your values. While you may feel tempted to conform to a predominantly white work culture, Leiba reminds you that there’s nothing “unprofessional” about your true identity.

Take-Aways

• Overcome self-limiting beliefs and step into your authenticity and power.
• When the world tries to silence and shrink you, embrace your true voice.
• Stop blaming yourself for imposter syndrome when others treat you like an outsider.
• Assess the costs and benefits of code-switching and how it might feel to stop.
• You don’t need permission to wear your hair naturally. Push back against anyone who tells you otherwise.
• Don’t endure microaggressions in silence. Speak out and embolden others to do the same.
• Mentors and sponsors can offer vital support and help you achieve your goals.
• When you get a seat at the table, don’t be afraid to leave if people don’t see your worth.

Summary

Overcome self-limiting beliefs and step into your authenticity and power.

Much of your sense of identity was likely formed in childhood. Any self-limiting beliefs you internalized as a child will continue to shape your adulthood and your career path unless you take steps to change them. For example, if your parents urged you to “be seen and not heard,” you might feel self-conscious speaking out as an adult.

If you’re a Black woman, people may have treated you as a threat during your childhood, teaching you to shrink your true self and appear “as nondescript and unassuming as possible.” Such feedback may lead you to “code-switch” — that is, to adjust how you speak in order to conform — in the workplace to make white people more comfortable. Perhaps you minimize your body movements and gestures and modify your voice to appear less intimidating. W.E.B. DuBois, the author of The Souls of Black Folk, describes how code-switching leads to a “double consciousness”: You’re perpetually viewing your identity “through the eyes” of white society, with the entrenched racism that comes with it.

“Living in your truth is the ultimate power, because it’s magnetic. It attracts people to you that otherwise might not even notice you.”

If you’ve internalized limiting beliefs that perpetuate your own marginalization and prevent you from achieving your full potential, you can take steps to begin living life more authentically. Acknowledge the trauma you’ve experienced, as well as the intergenerational trauma your family has endured due to racism. Give yourself permission and space to grieve what was lost, without shame. Work on building a more positive self-conception, perhaps through positive affirmations like “I have the power to change my life.” Once you begin embracing your power, reflect on your life’s purpose — your why — and take action steps toward your goals each day.

When the world tries to silence and shrink you, embrace your true voice.

When Black women express emotions at work, people tend to judge them more harshly than their white colleagues. According to the American Psychological Association, Black women often feel pressure to conceal negative emotions, fearing that white people will stereotype them using the “Angry Black Woman Trope.” Black women are more than twice as likely as Black men to report feeling hopeless, and nearly twice as likely to report feeling sad “most or all of the time.” Research from Hofstra University management and entrepreneurship professor Dr. Daphna Motro shows that when a Black woman expresses anger in the workplace, observers are more likely to deem it a personal issue as opposed to a reaction to external causes. Thus, Black women often prefer to remain silent in the workplace.

“Someone who can tell accurate and engaging stories and harness her power can mobilize and change the world. Embracing your voice and leaning into your truth, while leveraging and scaling it, can change your life.”

Reclaim your voice. Remind yourself that it’s not your fault that people have tried to silence you and that you don’t need other people’s validation. Endeavor to build the confidence you need to tell your own story. Consider affirmations such as “My story is powerful and deserves to be heard” and “My voice and my purpose are larger than me.” Find ways to leverage your voice to achieve your goals. For example, rather than waiting for someone to recognize your efforts and talents at work, advocate for yourself and craft a narrative about why you deserve a raise or promotion.

Stop blaming yourself for imposter syndrome when others treat you like an outsider.

People tend to label Black women’s struggles to assert themselves in the workplace as “imposter syndrome,” but this designation is often inaccurate and unbeneficial. The term implies that feeling like an outsider stems from some inherent lack of confidence or sense of self-doubt. In reality, the reason you likely feel uncomfortable in predominantly white spaces is because others treat you like you don’t belong.

While research suggests that about 70% of individuals experience imposter syndrome at least once in their lives, women and members of marginalized groups report feeling like an imposter with far greater frequency. Psychologists tend to blame imposter syndrome on personality traits such as perfectionism, neuroticism, and low efficacy, and they fail to take external systemic factors into account. In truth, “social evaluative cues” — that is, signals from others that convey whether they view you as someone of worth and value — may contribute to feeling that you don’t belong. For example, research indicates that women’s awareness of stereotypes that align leadership with masculinity can trigger imposter syndrome. Such stereotypes strongly imply that women lack the agency and assertiveness necessary for leadership roles.

“If we buy into that narrative by acting in a way that says our natural self is not good enough, we are reinforcing the notion that we are an imposter.”

It’s often more accurate to acknowledge that others are guilty of “imposter treatment” than to blame yourself for “imposter syndrome.” That said, regardless of the root cause of your feelings, the effect is the same: Psychological research shows that feeling like an imposter can lead to greater anxiety and depression. Overcome feeling like an imposter by being honest with yourself about the trauma you may have suffered as a result of stereotyping or being treated like an outsider on your career journey. Start rebuilding your confidence, telling yourself affirmations such as “I do not allow others to define my worthiness when I enter a space” and “I bring value to every space I inhabit.”

Assess the costs and benefits of code-switching and how it might feel to stop.

Code-switching involves changing “from the linguistic system of one language or dialect to that of another.” For Black people in the United States, code-switching typically entails moving between what people refer to as “standard English” and African American Vernacular English (AAVE). Chances are, you learned this skill early in childhood, speaking differently in the classroom from how you spoke at home. Madison Butler, the chief people officer of retailer Grav, describes how attempting to disguise her Blackness at work damaged her sense of self-worth in an interview in Rolling Stone: “I spent years hating myself because I believed that I inherently was my own enemy.”

“The onus is placed on Black people to speak, act, behave, and dress in a manner that mimics those in the majority. But there really isn’t a clear reason why, other than the fact that who we are in our natural, authentic state is seen as undesirable — not worthy of being in those spaces.”

Reflect on ways you might be code-switching at work. Take inventory of how often you code-switch, when and where the behavior occurs, the perceived benefits of doing so, and how it makes you feel. What would stopping this behavior involve, and how might it feel to stop? To stop code-switching, tell yourself positive affirmations, such as “I will shine brighter than ever in my truth.”

You don’t need permission to wear your hair naturally. Push back against anyone who tells you otherwise.

Black women and girls often face discrimination when they choose to wear their hair in more natural styles. This discrimination starts at a young age in public schools and then continues in workplace settings. According to the 2021 CROWN Research Study for Girls, 66% of Black children experience hair discrimination when attending majority white schools, of whom 86% experience hair discrimination at or before the age of 12. Some 53% of Black mothers whose daughters experienced hair discrimination reported that the unfair treatment began when their child was as young as five years old.

“My hair is a crown and I wear it proudly! Those who are troubled by it are troubled by me as a whole.”

If you are a Black woman, you, too, likely learned to fear your natural hair at a young age and, like many of your Black peers, you may have wished it was straight. Perhaps, now, as an adult, you chemically straighten your hair, due to pressure to fit into white spaces. Research indicates, however, that embracing their natural hair gives Black women a greater sense of power and improved self-esteem.

The recently proposed CROWN Act (Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair) aims to enshrine protection from hair discrimination in the workplace and public schools in federal law. Many states have already instituted their own versions of this act. Affirm your right to choose whatever hairstyle best supports your authentic sense of self and empowerment journey. Whether you wear your hair in braids, pressed, unprocessed, or otherwise, remember that nobody should rob you of the freedom to wear your hair the way that feels most authentic to you.

Don’t endure microaggressions in silence. Speak out and embolden others to do the same.

Overt sexism and racism are omnipresent in today’s workplace. A Harvard Business Review study found that, among those surveyed, 90% of women of color working in the tech industry had experienced sexism, and 81% had experienced racism. Often, these latter experiences involved “microaggressions,” which Webster’s Dictionary defines as actions that “subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally express a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group.” This definition is inadequate. Framing microaggressions as “subtle, unconscious, or unintentional” implies that those who commit such acts don’t intend to cause harm, and it minimizes the degree to which microaggressions harm people of color.

“Speaking up and out about microaggressions is just one more strategy we as Black women can use to continue to empower and embolden ourselves when we step into predominantly white spaces, particularly the workplace, with all its landmines.”

If you experience a verbal microaggression, one simple response tactic is to end the conversation. Don’t hesitate to point out that you feel the other person has said something inappropriate or made you feel uncomfortable, prompting the individual to reflect on what they’ve said and acknowledge their error. Perpetrators tend to assume you’ll feel too uncomfortable to call them out, so empower yourself to address their behavior. If someone higher up in your corporate hierarchy commits a microaggression at a meeting, don’t let the power dynamic prevent you from defending yourself and creating space for a teachable moment. Work to cultivate communities of support. Sharing your experience of microaggressions with other women can help you realize that you’re not alone or at fault for someone else’s problematic behavior.

Mentors and sponsors can offer vital support and help you achieve your goals.

According to research from McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.org, Black women are significantly less likely to have a work sponsor — someone who advocates for them and promotes their careers — than their non-Black colleagues. Rosalind Chow, an associate professor of organizational behavior and theory at Carnegie Mellon University, explains that a sponsor can benefit your career by amplifying your achievements to others; boosting your visibility and strengthening your reputation to potential employers; connecting you with individuals and groups who can help you advance in your career; and defending you against others’ negative critiques or impressions. A good sponsor can help you negotiate your salary, identify and seize opportunities you may not know exist, and prevent you from settling for roles that don’t reflect the value you bring.

“Before determining who might be a suitable mentor, a crucial prerequisite might be determining your goal. What do you need from a mentor?”

Moreover, finding a trusted mentor — someone to provide coaching and feedback — can help you achieve your goals. Just be sure to clarify what you hope to achieve before cultivating a mentoring relationship. According to research from Black Girl Ventures, Black women with mentors see a 37.4% boost in their average salaries and enjoy greater job satisfaction. If you’re looking for a mentor, don’t feel you have to seek out the most powerful senior or executive employee you can find. Shaunah Zimmerman, who co-founded Women Who Create, a platform that fosters mentorship opportunities in the advertising industry for women of color, urges you to consider mid-level people as well, particularly at the start of your career. While these individuals may have less experience than more senior employees, they nevertheless might have influential connections.

When you get a seat at the table, don’t be afraid to leave if people don’t see your worth.

Black women hold a mere 4.4% of management roles and just 1.4% of C-suite positions. Managers give Black women fewer opportunities to lead projects and people, with only a third of Black women surveyed in Lean In’s report on the State of Black Women in Corporate America reporting that their managers had done so. By contrast, 43% of white women report that their managers have presented them with leadership opportunities. Black women are also chronically underpaid — earning 20% less than white women and 36% less than white men.

“Once I got a seat at the table, I realized it was too small to hold all my ambitions.”

As a Black woman, you face steep challenges when advancing in your career, but don’t forget that there’s a need for powerful voices like yours in leadership roles. Black entrepreneurship is also on the rise. According to a report by American Express, the number of Black women-owned businesses grew by 50% between 2014 and 2019, outpacing businesses owned by women overall.

As you climb the corporate ladder, remember your worth and what you have to offer others. If you find yourself in a toxic environment, surrounded by people who are blind to your worth, don’t be afraid to leave and find a culture that’s more supportive and equitable. Don’t waste time with people who don’t value or appreciate you. Give yourself permission to outgrow your present seat at the table and find a better seat elsewhere.

About the Author

Elizabeth Leiba is a college professor, a writer, and the host of Black Power Moves, a podcast on the Ebony Covering Black America Podcast Network. She also launched Black Women Handle Business, a website for Black women professionals and entrepreneurs who want to collaborate, network, and share resources.