How Can Leading With Vulnerability Make Your Team Trust You More?

Is Showing Emotion at Work a Weakness or a Leadership Superpower?

Transform your leadership style with Leading with Vulnerability by Jacob Morgan. Learn why admitting mistakes and showing emotion builds trust, fosters innovation, and unlocks the hidden “superpower” of top executives at companies like Northrop Grumman and TravelCenters of America.

Ready to stop hiding and start leading? Read the full summary now to discover the 5 vulnerable leader archetypes and find the one that fits your unique style.

Recommendation

Many executives believe that showing emotion undermines their public persona as an authority figure. Refreshingly, futurist and business author Jacob Morgan says this idea is a fallacy. Instead, he writes, leaders who admit they are vulnerable share their humanity. If you make that choice, he reassures you, people will admire your openness and brave spirit. Morgan explains how to demonstrate your vulnerability at work and incorporate your emotions into your leadership style. But, he cautions, being vulnerable doesn’t mean divulging all. In other words, proceed, but with good sense.

Take-Aways

• Exhibiting vulnerability reveals strength, not weakness.
• Carefully consider whether and how to exhibit emotion.
• Leaders who close themselves off from their emotions suffer psychologically.
• Leaders’ vulnerability promotes innovation, learning, and improved customer service.
• Vulnerable leaders admit their mistakes.
• Vulnerable leaders are unique; they share some traits, but there’s no one-size-fits-all model.

Summary

Exhibiting vulnerability reveals strength, not weakness.

Great leaders aren’t afraid to exhibit vulnerability, humility, and trust. They understand that revealing these aspects of their personalities demonstrates strength, not weakness, and shows their humanity. Leading with vulnerability can be a superpower, but – while being vulnerable is a positive trait – it’s not a license to divulge your innermost secrets or to put your fears on display.

“Competence is crucial, but it’s the combination of vulnerability and competence that truly leads to meaningful and significant outcomes.”

Yoda, the Star Wars character, exemplifies admirable vulnerability. He demonstrates “emotional intelligence including empathy and self-awareness.” For a real-world example, consider Ann Mukherjee, CEO and Chairwoman of Pernod Ricard North America, a company with 1,900 employees. Mukherjee has experienced enormous personal tragedy, including childhood sexual abuse and, at 14, the death of her mother, who was killed by a drunk driver. Mukherjee explains that these traumatic experiences compelled her to grow and advance. Being vulnerable creates opportunities to forge human connections and spur positive change.

Vulnerable leaders take these actions.

• Request assistance – This could be a small request, such as soliciting technical advice, or a big one, such as asking for concentrated and time-consuming assistance with a high-profile client project.
• Own your mistakes – Vulnerable leaders have the courage to transform admissions of failure into learning experiences. Begin by acknowledging that you made a mistake. Take responsibility for the problem, and take steps to fix it if you can.
• Offer personal stories, including your struggles – Many leaders erect boundaries, preferring to keep their innermost thoughts private. But when you share personal background stories to help you make an important point, you build trust.
• Accept or give compliments – Moments of praise often require “emotional exposure” that puts your vulnerabilities on display.
• Help someone handle a challenge – When people face challenges, they feel vulnerable. Support them with empathy. Offer to help if you can.
• Pay attention – Attentive listening requires your focus and commitment, and it communicates that you think the other person matters. Focusing on others and not yourself gracefully exhibits your vulnerability.
• Request or give honest feedback – When you request feedback, never settle for hollow “sugarcoated responses.” Even if honest but constructive reactions are hard to hear, they’re useful; sugarcoating is not.
• Discuss risky decisions and admit uncertainty – Facing potentially perilous decisions with courage and discussing them honestly exhibits a leader’s vulnerability. Just admitting that you don’t have an answer or a solution creates a powerfully vulnerable moment.
• Be genuine – If you don’t display vulnerability, people won’t think you’re authentic. To earn trust, you must be yourself.
• Display your real feelings – Express your humanity. Your truth will resonate with others. Show what matters to you.

Carefully consider whether and how to exhibit emotion.

Leaders who exhibit vulnerability connect with those they lead. Their actions and words demonstrate their abilities, strengths, resolve, and willingness to relate one on one.

“Leaders don’t need to play games, hide that they care, or be scared of being vulnerable.”

Asking if a leader can be too vulnerable is a precaution – like asking if it’s possible to be too authentic. While exhibiting vulnerability is foundational to leadership, vulnerability doesn’t come up in most business conversations. It’s not part of the typical MBA curriculum, and few people spontaneously encourage others to show their vulnerability.

Leaders worry that if they expose their vulnerabilities, someone will use their perceived soft spot against them. In fact, some 73% of leaders surveyed said they’d shown vulnerability at work only to have others exploit it as a weakness, “at least once.” Accept that some people will betray you – and keep moving forward. Being a leader includes opening yourself to “the potential of emotional harm.”

Leaders who close themselves off from their emotions suffer psychologically.

Shutting off your emotions and feelings is never psychologically healthy or emotionally safe. Being closed up can aggravate mental health issues, including panic attacks. In contrast, leaders who embrace their vulnerability often find an internal strength that enables them to become potent agents for change.

“Your body can only handle so much stuffing down of emotions and feelings.”

Leaders may shut themselves off from their emotions to avoid looking weak. But meaningful leadership derives from vulnerability, which can encourage trust and real person-to-person connections.

Leaders’ vulnerability promotes innovation, learning, and improved customer service.

Jonathan Pertchik is CEO of TravelCenters of America, a firm with close to 19,000 employees. He works hard to make vulnerability an essential characteristic of his company.

TravelCenters of America tests numerous ideas. Its executives know that most new concepts will fail, but they also believe that maybe a single fresh idea could prove powerfully successful. Their embrace of vulnerability and risk-taking promotes innovation. Pertchik, who has seen his company’s stock price grow to a 15-year high under his leadership, believes that innovation requires vulnerability.

“Failure is built into how our company operates and innovates, which means that vulnerability is built into our culture and this is a conscientious effort.” (Jonathan Pertchik, CEO, TravelCenters of America)

Leading with vulnerability requires finesse and a smart approach. Harvard Business School professor Amy C. Edmondson explains that being a vulnerable leader doesn’t mean overexposing yourself. Instead, vulnerable leadership calls for making sure your organization does all it can to serve its stakeholders.

Penny Pennington, managing partner of Edward Jones, a Fortune 500 financial services firm with 50,000 employees, finds that leaders’ vulnerability centers around learning and growing. When leaders are willing to admit they don’t know it all, Pennington believes, they establish a foundation for personal growth for themselves and their employees.

Vulnerable leaders admit their mistakes.

Vulnerable leaders take responsibility for their errors and work hard to correct them promptly – including asking for assistance from those they lead. Survey respondents said vulnerable leaders also admit to their mistakes or failures, accept their group’s hard challenges, face up to uncertainty or risk, and exhibit appropriate emotions.

However, respondents reported, only 16% of their leaders measure up to these criteria. Leaders may worry that exhibiting vulnerability opens them up to emotional distress, but the benefits of showing your vulnerability outweigh this risk. When you show people that you are vulnerable, you fuel your personal and professional development.

Vulnerable leaders are each unique; they share some traits, but there’s no one-size-fits-all model.

When you share your vulnerability, you also showcase your individuality, according to Kathy Warden, president and CEO of Northrop Grumman. Although vulnerable leaders are unique individuals, they tend to share these traits.

1. Self-awareness – They understand the thinking, behaviors, and emotions that drive their actions.
2. Self-compassion – They are kind and considerate to themselves.
3. Empathy – They try to understand others’ point of view.
4. Authenticity – They are never false or phony.
5. Integrity – Their personal values drive their actions.
6. Competence – They do their work well.
7. Self-confidence – They treat themselves well and know they’ll succeed.
8. Motivation – They remain engaged and active, never idle, and they do their best to make the most of their personal and professional situation.

Leaders can travel different paths toward vulnerability. Some undergo a transformative experience that makes them more vulnerable. Others learn vulnerability from a coach. Oftentimes, employee feedback motivates leaders to become more vulnerable. Leaders who don’t grow up understanding the value of exhibiting vulnerability often teach themselves to be more vulnerable.

Learning to lead with an effective degree of vulnerability is not complicated. But if you intend to demonstrate vulnerability, first let yourself be vulnerable.

“The true strength of vulnerability has revealed itself time and again…but maybe never more than when facing a crisis or decisive turning point.” (Joe Almeida, CEO, Baxter International)

Wonder Woman can fly and is super strong. Spider-Man has spiderlike abilities and remarkable reflexes. Wolverine has retractible metal claws and super healing powers. These superheroes are all different – but super in their own way. Just as superheroes are unique, so, too, are vulnerable leaders. Don’t try to fit into some preconceived vulnerable-leader mold. Become your own kind of openhearted leader by defining and establishing your personal, acceptable level of comfort with vulnerability. Bear in mind that the comfort level that works for you today might be different tomorrow.

Consider five vulnerable-leader personality archetypes:

1. “Captain Heart” – This transparent, authentic leader is open and comfortable with his or her openness. Followers love and admire a Captain Heart kind of leader, enabling him or her to develop meaningful relationships in a short time.
2. “Wonder Worker” – These leaders comfortably exhibit vulnerability at work, but not in their personal lives. They get the most from those they supervise while maintaining firm boundaries between work and non-work activities.
3. “Professor Personal” – The professor is open outside work but remains mostly closed off at the office.
4. “Super-Situational” – These adaptable leaders are good at adjusting to changing circumstances. They excel at reading people and scoping out different work environments. Since each situation presents distinctive challenges, such leaders may have a difficult time maintaining high energy levels when they face the day-to-day grind. On the plus side, they are often skilled at managing diverse relationships.
5. “Balanced Beast” – This vulnerable leader is equally open and vulnerable at work and at home. Such leaders remain on an even keel and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, ideas, and reactions with their peers and employees. Such leaders have a tremendous personal asset: the ability to regulate their emotions.

“Being able to lead through change is all about people and vulnerability and what creates trust, connection, alignment, growth, and powerful relationships.”

Most people don’t expect their colleagues to show vulnerability voluntarily. And, many worry that it’s a negative trait. Ultimately, everyone is human, and humans are vulnerable. Exhibiting vulnerability can be a powerful, effective way to lead and to explore meaningful relationships in your personal and professional life.

About the Author

Futurist Jacob Morgan hosts the podcast Great Leadership with Jacob Morgan. He is also the author of The Future Leader, The Employee Experience Advantage, The Future of Work, and The Collaborative Organization.