How can music rewire your brain to stop self-sabotage in leadership?

Why is your childhood trauma dictating your business decisions today?

Explore how neuroscience and music affect leadership performance. Learn Susan Drumm’s seven-step method to replace negative emotional triggers with a playlist that fuels success. Start building your new neural pathways now—read on to discover the seven steps that will silence your inner critic and amplify your leadership potential.

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Consulting firm CEO Susan Drumm, who has worked with CEOs, billionaires, and government officials as an executive coach, offers an original perspective on leadership development. She explores the effects of childhood trauma on adults, and connects those traumas to the emotional triggers – most notably music – that drive leaders’ behaviors. Drumm links emotions to music and that makes her book title far more than just a metaphor. By showing ways to use music to deal with strong feelings and even with trauma, she offers leaders and everyone else an imaginative path to transformation.

Take-Aways

• Music creates or strengthens neural connections and pathways.
• To change your behavior and your life, change your musical playlist.
• Changing your playlist changes your subconscious emotions.
• Self-discovery through music can reveal your unique leadership style.
• To succeed as a leader, do the inner work.
• To bring out the best in yourself and in others, change your emotional frequency from anger and fear to love and empathy.
• Invest reflection, effort, and time to change your old and new playlists.
• Follow a seven-step process to replace your old playlist.

Summary

Music creates or strengthens neural connections and pathways.

Music can change your mood, spur your energy, and reduce your stress. It can affect your state of mind and activities on many levels. For example, when you exercise to music, you feel less fatigue, require less oxygen, and experience more endurance and energy.

Biometric experiments in the workplace have tracked the way employees’ heart rates become linked to the playlists they are hearing. This research has tested dynamic soundtracks that change with a worker’s pulse. To increase productivity, the soundtrack’s beat slows when the worker is anxious, and increases when he or she is sluggish.

“An enormous body of research indicates that music is one of the most powerful tools you can use to increase neuroplasticity…wiring new pathways in the brain.”

Late-stage Alzheimer’s patients don’t react to most stimuli, but music is an exception. When an otherwise expressionless patient listens to music, it can generate up to 10 minutes of lucidity, including smiling and talkativeness. Babies are willing to listen to music for twice as long as they will listen to adult voices.

Changing your playlist from sad songs to empowering music generates a cognitive and emotional change that endures. For example, author Susan Drumm’s old playlist included “Jar of Hearts,” a song about breakup and loss that nourished her subconscious stresses around betrayal and exclusion. This song and others like it helped her connect to her emotions. But Drumm found that when she added new songs, such as “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars, the music gave her energy and happiness that countered her lifelong feelings of loss, betrayal, and victimhood.

To change your behavior and your life, change your musical playlist.

Most leaders struggle with people-related challenges, including burnout, turnover, and disengagement from work. The answer to these problems lies not in attempting to change others, but in a process of deep self-discovery that leads to personal transformation.

“This isn’t just a metaphor. Music has the ability to trigger important synapses in the brain, and it’s a powerful access point to understand our behavioral patterns and to create new ones.”

Music gives you insight into the subconscious drivers of your emotional triggers and behaviors. Music helps you heal and changes how you think about and respond to situations. Your playlist – the music you listen to most frequently – reveals your innermost vulnerabilities and injuries.

Changing your playlist changes your subconscious emotions.

Like a song that gets stuck in your head, your behavioral playlist will remain stuck until you examine and change it. But as you uncover and come to understand the causes of your programmed reactions and subsequent behaviors, you can make changes that stick.

“We each have a pattern of experiences and emotions that plays out over and over; like that annoying song stuck in our head, our unconscious playlist is stuck on repeat.”

If your behaviors and reactions are undermining your effectiveness as a leader, switch out your playlist. Consider the connection between the songs you most often listen to, the emotions they evoke, and the triggers that drive your behavior. If you can identify songs that are associated with your negative reactions and emotions, then you can discard the ones that might have a triggering effect. Replace your old songs with an opposite soundtrack – songs that relate to the positive emotions you would prefer to feel. This will help you remain more present with people and show greater empathy. It can strengthen your personal relationships and inspire people to follow your leadership.

Feelings, like music, emit frequencies that other people register. This causes them subconsciously to react to your anger or fear. Such emotions trigger similar feelings in others, just as your expressions of gratitude or appreciation lift the spirits of those around you.

Self-discovery through music can reveal your unique leadership style.

Emotional triggers almost always spring from childhood experiences and trauma. Though each person’s psychological makeup is unique, many people experienced one or more common traumas as children. These “common playlists” generate predictable behaviors among adults, including those who become leaders, thus lending themselves to diagnosis and treatment.

“If you haven’t invested in the self-reflection to understand the playlist that is running you, the results you produce in life will be limited by the perspectives you burned into your brain as a child.”

This process of discovery demands deep reflection and curiosity, as well as a willingness to examine what may be painful childhood memories (if relevant). The reward of developing and listening to a new playlist will relieve you of a great weight and unleash your energy and purpose. Trying this approach simply requires setting aside your skepticism, ego, and fear.

Heed your own desire to grow and transform, even though it requires courage. If you don’t, you’ll remain stuck in the playlist you set up as a child. If you are a leader, this matters greatly, because your behavior either improves or damages the lives of the people you lead.

“Because we can’t rely on government to efficiently solve our societal and economic challenges, our corporate leaders are often the ones who are either improving the human condition or worsening it.”

Through consciously understanding your choices – and refusing to let your fight-or-flight instincts control you – you can balance your right brain and left brain abilities in your decision-making and behavior. Your new approach and more enlightened leadership style will attract talent.

However, if you fail to address your controlling subconscious playlist, you will compromise your ability to build your organization. This may explain why so many entrepreneurs fail. Their initial creativity, inspiration, and drive do succeed, but then they create organizations that require structure and scalable communications, and, thus, need more complex leadership than those still mired in trauma can manifest.

To succeed as a leader, do the inner work.

No one escapes childhood without some kind of trauma, though that doesn’t necessarily mean physical or sexual abuse. An angry parent, especially one who was unpredictable – nice today, yelling tomorrow – or any stress that repeatedly triggered a flight-or-fight response could produce trauma that shapes your adult leadership style.

Author Susan Drumm’s father was a respected dentist who worked hard and provided for his family. Yet his disappointment at not pursuing his true calling – learning to fly – caused irrational behaviors, frustration, and unpredictable responses to normal occurrences. This kept Drumm and her family on perpetual high alert. Though severe incidents were rare – such as the time her father screamed at Drumm for playing with her brother’s toys – they produced trauma for her, on top of the lower-grade stress that arose from dealing with her father’s volatility.

“Healing the divide within us will heal the divide between us.”

The author’s self-examination helped her understand that constant childhood stress made her intolerant of hardships at work and perpetuated her tendency to job-hop and switch careers. Her resentment at her father’s infrequent, violent outbursts made her highly sensitive to any sense of unfair treatment, exclusion, or betrayal. Though these feelings were subconscious, they manifested in Drumm’s overreactions at work, a victim mindset, and impaired personal relationships.

To bring out the best in yourself and others, change your emotional frequency from anger and fear to love and empathy.

In many ways, Drumm’s father was an exemplary parent, full of encouragement and love. Even his flaws, which gave rise to her demons, left her with some advantages. Handling her father helped her manage others like him. She developed superior emotional intelligence and became an insightful leadership coach. Anyone who suffered trauma in childhood can benefit from developing the abilities they learned in coping with that trauma. This mindset is vital in discovering, managing, and overcoming childhood trauma.

“For each wound, there is a strength or a gift that develops as a direct result of that wound.”

A growing body of evidence links childhood trauma to headaches, heart disease, diabetes, and multiple sclerosis. Childhood stress changes your brain by activating genes that otherwise would have remained dormant. These genes react to stress so that people can manage it. Then, they remain active throughout a person’s life, causing overreactions to even the least-threatening triggers. An overly active amygdala – the part of your brain that is responsible for the fight-or-flight reaction – suppresses the left brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for rational thought. Overcoming this condition demands heightened self-awareness and a new playlist.

If you don’t address and examine it, trauma will impair your physical and mental health, your personal relationships, and your effectiveness as a leader. Instinctual reactions stemming from childhood trauma often drive greed, corruption, and division. Fixing yourself on the inside will lead you to repair rifts on the outside. The goal is to stop trying to avoid becoming another person – likely, your parents – and to emerge as your authentic self.

Invest reflection, effort, and time to change your old and new playlists.

Identify the childhood trauma and wounds that drive your behavior. Perhaps you had an overbearing mother who frequently criticized your appearance. This might have generated your inner strength by motivating you to always show up looking your best. But it might also cause a sense of low self-worth.

People generally attach their childhood trauma to the songs they frequently listen to. Your old playlist might include a song about superficial beauty, such as “I Love Me” by Demi Lovato. Your new playlist might include more empowering songs, such as the Bruno Mars song called “Just the Way You Are” [also the name of an older Billy Joel hit]. Learning to accept and love yourself helps you improve your relationships and judge others less harshly.

“Our childhood wounds are most likely to be triggered in managing relationships and collaborating with others. If we haven’t done the work to heal these aspects of ourselves, they are exposed while we try to run the marathon of scaling an organization.”

Think through your childhood memories – not to blame your parents, but to discover what still sparks your emotions. Think about what you would say to a child who presented those emotions to you. Consider what that child needs to hear – what would help your young self cope? Let this line of thinking guide you in shaping your new playlist. Use music to reveal your triggers at a level of consciousness where you can learn how to stop becoming upset and convert these reminders into a positive force.

Follow a seven-step process to replace your old playlist.

You must recognize your wounds to heal them.

“The reality is that emotions are central in business and in any other aspect of life.”

As you undertake the process of self-examination and try to adopt a new playlist to go with your new approach, consider these steps.

1. Hit the wall – At some point, you will lose patience with your behavior and its consequences. This could take decades. Accelerate this process through awareness. When you hit a wall in trying to understand or change your behavior, gain inspiration and incentive by building a new playlist.
2. Get to know yourself – Embrace openness and curiosity to learn about your existing playlist and the emotional scars you carry. Don’t blame yourself, your parents, or anyone else along your route to discovering what subconsciously triggers you and blocks your progress.
3. Identify up to five primary emotions that steer you – Only a few emotions dictate your reactions and behaviors. Naming them helps you discover the playlist you seek to change. For example, Drumm identified “frustrated, outraged, victimized, and excluded” as hers. Consider how these emotions cause anxiety, fear, or negative reactions.
4. Connect your emotions to your childhood experiences – Think back, decade by decade, from ages one to 10, and then forward. Can you identify traumas you experienced in each decade? What patterns does this exercise reveal? Note how your crucial emotions show up time and again through the decades of your life, especially in challenging times.
5. Build your “wounded playlist” – To build your wounded playlist, find a song that best expresses each emotion. For instance, one of Drumm’s main selections is “I Am Treated Unfairly” by Sahar. Seek out lyrics or rhythms that resonate with you.
6. Build your new playlist – Choose songs that express the opposite of negative or triggering emotions. What emotions do you feel when you experience happiness or confidence? Consider songs that contrast with your wounded playlist to build your new one. Select songs that make you feel good and evoke positive emotions.
7. Find your “meaningful mission” – Attach your new playlist to a greater purpose that helps others, including anyone who may need a playlist upgrade.

About the Author

Susan Drumm, CEO of Meritage Leadership, is a Master Certified Leadership Coach serving major companies. She provides a free quiz at susandrumm.com and free resources at theleaderplaylist.com for those who want to research childhood trauma and its effects.