How Can the “Fierce Resilience Cycle” Help You Stop Workplace Stress at the Source?

Why Is Constructive Feedback the Secret to Building a Stress-Free, High-Performing Team?

Reclaim your peace of mind with Fierce Resilience by Edward Beltran. Discover the 4-step cycle to eliminate root causes of stress, master “Fierce Conversations” to handle difficult bosses, and build a culture of psychological safety at work.

Ready to stop surviving and start thriving at work? Read the full summary now to learn the 7 “Fierce Conversation” models that transform conflict into career-boosting growth.

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Toxic cultures and stress are a fact of life for many of today’s workers, but at what cost? Communications guru Edward Beltran urges readers to take control of their health and well-being, cultivating the “Fierce Resilience” required to combat the root causes of stress in their workday. Whether you’re a leader hoping to better manage stress for your team or a worker looking for strategies to deal with a difficult boss, the Fierce Resilience framework arms you with the tools you need to reclaim your peace of mind.

Take-Aways

• Don’t address just the symptoms of stress. Break the patterns responsible for it.
• Stamp out the root causes of stress with the “Fierce Resilience Cycle.”
• Skillfully navigate stressful interactions by embracing the principles of “Fierce Conversations.”
• Constructive feedback is not a judgment “but a waypoint to improvement and success.”
• Reduce the stress of difficult relationships by improving your approach to confrontation.
• Use a decision tree to clarify the levels of autonomy you want to give workers and delegate effectively.
• Nurture an accountability mindset in yourself and others by striving to seek solutions and take action.
• Improve your work-life balance by practicing your negotiation strategy.
• Apply the team conversation model to transform change and uncertainty into powerful growth opportunities.
• Lead resilient teams by nurturing a culture that reflects your values.

Summary

Don’t address just the symptoms of stress. Break the patterns responsible for it.

In 2016, the World Health Organization attributed 745,194 deaths worldwide to workplace stress. According to data from the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, some 40% of US workers report feeling excessive stress related to their work. Stress is “a state of anxiety or tension caused by a difficult situation,” and it can take a toll on a person in countless ways, including sleep deprivation, irritability, depleted self-confidence, a sense of overwhelm, panic attacks, depression, weight loss or gain, high blood pressure, and even death.

“Take action to reduce stress in your workplace. You will save your life and that of your company.”

While many people take a “Band-Aid approach” by addressing the symptoms of their stress, the time is ripe to start tackling the root causes of why so many workers are stressed. Stressed-out individuals, the “victims” of stress, try to build resilience to overcome challenges. Employee stress costs US companies an estimated $300 billion each year due to factors such as absenteeism, employee turnover, reduced productivity, and medical costs. Therefore, companies stand to benefit from reducing employee stress. “Fierce Resilience” creates a culture of resilience dedicated to stamping out stress at an organizational level, starting with the individual. Fierce Resilience is best understood as “the courage to self-assess and act,” and when you cultivate this vital capacity, you’ll notice dramatic improvements in your well-being.

Stamp out the root causes of stress with the “Fierce Resilience Cycle.”

Developing Fierce Resilience is an ongoing, iterative process that plays out in four stages:

1. “Awareness” — Emotional situations can trigger stress within you. Learn to recognize the warning signs and build resilience. Aspire to develop both “internal self-awareness” — which enables you to interpret your body’s stress signals by stopping to reflect on the stressful situation, or negative self-talk, and reframing it as something more positive — and “external self-awareness,” which allows you to identify the impact of your behavior on others around you.
2. “Analysis” — Pinpoint the source of your stress by monitoring your biometric data using specialized tools. For instance, Fierce Resilience’s Pulse app connects to a smartwatch to help you better understand your own triggers. The Pulse app measures your heart rate variability (HRV), which elevates when you feel stressed and overwhelmed and slows down when you feel calm or a sense of relief. Once you are aware of your stressors, you can begin working on “stress-busting solutions.”
3. “Assessment” — Meditation and mindfulness techniques can relieve the symptoms of stress, but when you have data insights into the everyday factors that elevate your HRV consistently over time, you can more objectively address the root causes of your stress.
4. “Action” — Over time, your Fierce Resilience will grow by using your biometric data to guide your stress management. Once you develop a better understanding of your own triggers, learn “Fierce Conversation” techniques to help you better advocate for your work-life balance, navigate conflict, respond to others in ways that reduce stress, and enrich your professional relationships.

Skillfully navigate stressful interactions by embracing the principles of “Fierce Conversations.”

Other resilience frameworks cite the importance of the “Four Cs of Hardiness” — “commitment, control, challenge, and connection.” Alas, those models overlook one crucial element — conversation, the driving force of human connectivity. Confront your interpersonal stress head-on by embracing the following principles of Fierce Conversations:

1. Question your perceived reality — Your perceptions of a situation that triggers stress may differ from how others view it. Be prepared to potentially part with your own stance, and cultivate an openness to perceptions that might not affirm yours.
2. Overcome defensiveness — Listen deeply to others by “shedding your defenses, setting aside your self-centered perceptions, withholding judgments, and ignoring distractions.”
3. Be fully present — Build more trusting relationships with others by giving them your full attention.
4. Don’t procrastinate — Tackle your most pressing challenges immediately, translating talk into progress.
5. Listen to your gut — Trust your hunches, which inform you when something’s not quite right.
6. Be accountable for your feelings — Even if your words are well-intentioned, the way you deliver feedback matters. For example, if you sound judgmental, the person you’re speaking to won’t respond well to the conversation.
7. Don’t fear awkward silences — Let silent moments percolate, giving both parties more time for reflection, which can lead to deeper understanding and insights into one another’s perspective.

Embrace seven Fierce Conversation models — feedback conversations, confrontation conversations, delegation conversations, accountability conversations, negotiation conversations, team conversations, and values conversations — to escape “conversation chaos” and be more effective at work.

Constructive feedback is not a judgment “but a waypoint to improvement and success.”

Several statistics extol the benefits of feedback: Companies that employ routine employee feedback enjoy 15% lower turnover rates, and 98% of employees fail to engage with their work when their managers give them scant feedback. To give feedback, start by outlining the behavior you have noticed. Use specific examples, giving exact dates, times, and locations. Ask the other person to offer their perspectives and to fill in any gaps. Explain why your feedback matters and, in the case of negative feedback, what repercussions to expect if the behavior continues.

“It takes courage to give feedback. Saying ‘thank you’ ensures the feedback continues.”

When receiving feedback, listen with an open mind. Ask for specific examples of the behavior that is being critiqued and of its impact on the team or company. Take responsibility for your actions, and commit to doing better. Show gratitude for the feedback and consider what lessons you can derive from the experience.

Reduce the stress of difficult relationships by improving your approach to confrontation.

When people quit their jobs, 80% report doing so because they find it too arduous to manage difficult workplace relationships. Decrease employee turnover by improving how you manage conflict in your workplace. Start by naming the issue you want to address. If it’s occurred more than once, despite having already suggested a change in behavior, you need to confront the issue. Ensure you’re feeling calm and capable of making rational decisions before engaging. Craft an opening statement that gets to the nub of the issue; contains clear examples of behaviors you’ve found difficult; conveys your own emotional responses (for instance, “I feel discouraged”); clarifies what’s at stake (say, team morale); includes an admission regarding how you may have contributed to the issue; expresses a desire for resolution; and invites a response (for example, “I want to hear your perspective”).

“Confrontation is an opportunity for clarification and realignment of goals.”

Resolve your conflict by clarifying areas of agreement and areas where you agree to disagree, defining clear action steps you’ll both take to prevent further conflict. Check in with one another later to ensure you both feel satisfied with the resolution and the progress you’ve both made toward resolving the conflict. A fear of confrontation is common, but conflict is an unavoidable part of life. Thus, opt to do so in a way that triggers growth.

Use a decision tree to clarify the levels of autonomy you want to give workers and delegate effectively.

You needn’t do everything yourself. Delegate better in high-pressure situations with the “fierce decision tree” to better match people to roles:

• “Leaf” — The leaves reside at the top of your organizational hierarchy. These employees are empowered to make autonomous decisions and must take responsibility in high-stakes situations.
• “Branch” — Branches report to a higher-up but are empowered to make autonomous decisions and act on them.
• “Trunk” — These workers make individual decisions, but can’t act on them without first getting the green light from a higher-up.
• “Root” — These workers don’t have decision-making power, but they work with others to collaboratively brainstorm and provide feedback.

Some workers act as roots in some capacities but trunks or branches in other capacities. Clarify each worker’s decision-making level regarding every aspect of their roles. Outline each employee’s career development path. Create a culture where all employees gain a sense of ownership over their actions.

Nurture an accountability mindset in yourself and others by striving to seek solutions and take action.

You won’t learn and grow if you remain in your comfort zone. You must step into the “optimal anxiety zone,” a place where moderate stress lurks, to access growth and development opportunities. Foster an attitude of “Fierce Accountability.” Discard your victim mindset and realize that your path is not predestined: You have the power to take your life and career in the direction you choose.

Encourage others to be accountable by helping them to identify their problem. Figure out how long the problem has persisted and determine its impact. Urge them to elaborate in as much detail as possible and to consider the repercussions if they fail to address the problem. Together, conceive of an ideal solution. Consider the positive effects of that outcome on the individual and the team. Resolve to take action toward achieving that end.

Improve your work-life balance by practicing your negotiation strategy.

Improving your work-life balance demands strong negotiation skills. You might need to negotiate with those you work with, as you rearrange your workday to better protect your health and well-being. Likewise, you might need to negotiate with yourself if you feel inner conflict. For example, perhaps you want more leisure time and to be a high achiever, so must find a middle ground. A skillful negotiator seeks a “zone of possible agreement,” or a solution that satisfies the needs and desires of all involved.

“Finding work-life balance means finding the zone of possible agreement between life and work needs.”

Before starting a negotiation with your co-workers, prepare by considering the ways the problem is manifesting in your work environment. Reflect on factors that will influence your approach to the conversation, such as the emotional state of all involved. When negotiating, demonstrate a careful consideration of others’ needs by sharing your view of the problem’s impact and your understanding of their take on it. Once you’ve come to a shared understanding, brainstorm solutions together. Assess each party’s needs with a “needs assessment matrix,” identifying essential, “must-have” needs, realistic needs, and any bonus needs. After you’ve chosen your preferred solution, resist rushing to seal the deal. Check in one last time, asking questions such as: “Can you think of any reason not to move forward with this agreement?” If you’re still aligned, write down your solution, sharing the deal you’ve reached with all parties. Check in at a later date to discuss the success or failure of the solution.

Apply the team conversation model to transform change and uncertainty into powerful growth opportunities.

Uncertainty can trigger stress, but change is also a catalyst for growth. If you’re a leader tasked with managing change, consider hosting a “Beach Ball Meeting,” in which you invite all team members and stakeholders to share their diverse perspectives on the change, one by one, while listening without judgment. Next, ask, “What would you do if you were me?” and have each team member write a response on a piece of paper next to their name, so you can follow up with them regarding their feedback later. Before concluding your meeting, ask if there’s anything important you’ve forgotten to mention. Express gratitude to everyone for sharing their ideas, before communicating your decision transparently to the group, after some reflection.

“Inclusion is an attitude, and it has to be woven into a company’s culture.”

A culture of psychological safety is necessary to navigate change effectively. People need to feel they can safely share their perspectives without fear of judgment or punishment. As a leader, you must learn to recognize any biases or judgments you hold about others. For example, perhaps you find yourself quickly dismissing the ideas of someone on your team simply because they have an accent that you deem loud and brash. People tend to “filter out” information that doesn’t align with their own views, so consider your own “context filter”: the beliefs, experiences, and assumptions that color your view of reality. Constantly assess the way your subjective perception might be preventing you from fully understanding diverse perspectives to build a truly inclusive culture.

Lead resilient teams by nurturing a culture that reflects your values.

Don’t neglect your workplace culture, because it’s often the make-or-break factor that determines your employees’ stress and resilience levels — as well as your own. In fact, a toxic workplace culture has prompted as many as 20% of American workers to quit a job at some point. Think of your culture as “the unspoken rules of behavior, the essential moral assumptions behind the business model, and the patterns of communication and silence.” In 2018 and 2019, Boeing epitomized a toxic culture; the engineers felt so afraid of speaking out about their safety concerns regarding the Boeing 737 Max that they failed to prevent two separate crashes.

“A lack of leadership in shaping the culture erodes trust, hinders collaboration, and impedes the organization’s ability to adapt to changing circumstances.”

Nurture a healthy workplace culture, where workers feel a sense of psychological safety, by modeling active listening skills, authenticity, and vulnerability. Make time for honest communication with workers, engaging them in meaningful conversations — not just transactional ones. Reflect on the values that inspire you to show up to work each day, making a concerted effort to lead by example, aligning your behaviors and your values each day.

About the Author

Edward Beltran is the CEO of Fierce Inc., a global firm specializing in leadership training and communication founded by Susan Scott, the author of Fierce Conversations.