How do you motivate Gen Z and young adults (ages 10–25) without triggering shutdown or resistance?

Why does “respectful” feedback work better for teens and young adults—and how can mentors use high expectations?

A practical summary of psychologist David Yeager’s 10 to 25 explains why young people are highly sensitive to respect and autonomy—and how “wise feedback” (clear standards plus genuine belief) increases motivation, resilience, and follow-through. Continue reading for ready-to-use feedback scripts that protect autonomy, communicate high standards, and build trust—so coaching, teaching, and managing young people leads to effort and growth instead of disengagement.

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Curious how to connect with the next generation? In this insightful lecture, psychologist David Yeager reveals groundbreaking research on how to engage and motivate the younger members of gen Z by understanding their unique developmental needs. Young people’s sensitivity to respect and autonomy shapes how they interpret feedback from authority figures. Thus, seemingly minor adjustments in language and approach can have profound effects on their response to guidance. By aligning feedback with clear standards and genuine support, mentors can encourage gen Z to embrace challenges — rather than disengage.

Take-Aways

• Hormonal shifts affect how young people respond to feedback and instruction.
• Young people are particularly sensitive to feeling disrespected or controlled.
• To motivate young people, demonstrate respect and convey high expectations, showing your confidence in their abilities.

Summary

Hormonal shifts affect how young people respond to feedback and instruction.

For managers, teachers, coaches, and parents, it might seem that today’s young people don’t want to work hard or listen to feedback, and resist instruction. These individuals seem to face what’s called the mentor’s dilemma: a choice between giving hard-nosed feedback that may crush young people or cause animosity or holding back needed feedback to spare the younger generation’s feelings. But neither of these options addresses the real dynamics at play when an older person is trying to guide or teach gen Z. Young people don’t lack motivation or resilience. And the solution to avoiding backlash isn’t to withhold information. The crux of the issue lies in how older people communicate. Young people are happy to take instruction when it’s offered in a way that demonstrates respect, support, and encouragement.

“A lot of the disaffection we see with the younger generation is that they don’t see a legitimate path to being a respect-worthy person with a prestigious contribution.”

Research shows that during puberty, young people experience a surge in hormones like testosterone that makes them particularly sensitive to both the excitement of positive social interactions and the distress of social setbacks. Studies demonstrate this heightened sensitivity. In one experiment, Harvard neuroscientist Leah Somerville and her team placed teenagers in an fMRI machine and told them that all they had to do was lie still. The researchers then told the participants that someone their age would be watching the experiment. The machine results showed that, upon hearing this information, participants became self-conscious and embarrassed. Studies like this highlight the brain’s intense focus on social cues during puberty, pushing young people to seek validation and social acceptance.

Young people are particularly sensitive to feeling disrespected or controlled.

Adults often “grown-splain” to younger people: They offer information or advice that’s intended as helpful but in ways that young people perceive as disrespectful, condescending, and an attempt to control their choices. Young people have a strong desire for independence and self-determination. The ways they often interpret feedback and advice — in direct relation to whether they feel the person giving it respects their autonomy — reveals this heightened sensitivity.

“Disrespect shuts down the very regions of the brain that [young people] would need to recruit in order to learn from the information and the feedback.”

In one neurological study, teens listened to recordings of their mothers complaining about their behavior. The result was increased activity in emotional regions linked to frustration, while cognitive control areas — responsible for processing and planning — became less active. This suggests the teens felt criticized rather than constructively guided.

To motivate young people, demonstrate respect and convey high expectations, showing your confidence in their abilities.

For effective engagement, managers, coaches, teachers, and parents should state feedback in a way that’s both respectful and direct. Emphasize that you have high expectations and believe in the young person’s capacity to meet them. This “wise feedback” aligns with gen Z’s need for both autonomy and validation, and fosters trust, motivation, and cooperation. By setting high standards and demonstrating belief in their potential, adults can build a supportive environment that encourages young people to strive toward growth and achievement.

“The magic is the feeling that someone with power over your outcomes took you seriously and treated you with respect, at a moment where your status was precarious.”

Upholding high standards while providing unwavering support strikes a balance between encouragement and accountability. For example, a coach who maintains rigorous training expectations while consistently being available to guide and encourage athletes helps them realize that while the challenges they face are difficult, they aren’t insurmountable. This approach helps young people learn that success is not about avoiding challenges but about rising to meet them — a lesson that instills resilience and a growth-oriented mindset.

About the Speaker

David Yeager is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin whose research focuses on youth and equality of opportunity. He’s co-founder of the Texas Behavioral Science and Policy Institute and author of the best-selling 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People.