How to Achieve Success and Happiness by Lowering Expectations

Lowering your expectations may sound like a defeatist attitude, but it can actually be a powerful strategy to optimize your risk, seize your opportunity, and live your best life. That’s the main message of Same as Ever, the latest book by bestselling author Morgan Housel.

In this book, Housel shares 24 short stories that illustrate the timeless lessons of human behavior, psychology, and business that never change. By focusing on what is permanently true, rather than what is uncertain and unpredictable, you can better anticipate the big stuff and achieve the greatest success.

If you want to learn how to lower expectations and limit your disappointment, while still pursuing your goals and dreams, you need to read this book. In this article, I will give you a summary and a review of Same as Ever, and show you how it can change your perspective and your life. Keep reading to find out more.

Genres

Nonfiction, Psychology, Business, Finance, Self-Help, Philosophy, History, Personal Development, Economics, Sociology, Investments, Career Success

Same as Ever is a collection of 24 short stories that explore the themes of risk, opportunity, and happiness. Each story is based on a real-life event or a historical example that demonstrates a timeless principle or lesson that never changes.

For example, Housel uses the story of the Titanic to show how overconfidence and optimism can blind us to the risks we face. He uses the story of the Wright brothers to show how persistence and curiosity can lead to breakthroughs and innovations. He uses the story of the Beatles to show how luck and timing can play a huge role in success and failure.

The main idea of the book is that instead of trying to predict the future, which is impossible and often disappointing, we should focus on what is always true and constant. By doing so, we can lower expectations and avoid frustration and anger. We can also optimize our risk and opportunity by being more flexible and adaptable. We can also live a happier and more fulfilling life by being more grateful and content with what we have.

Review

I enjoyed reading Same as Ever and I found it to be very insightful and engaging. Housel is a great storyteller and he uses anecdotes and examples that are easy to relate to and understand. He also writes in a clear and concise style that makes his points easy to follow and remember. He covers a wide range of topics and issues that are relevant and interesting to anyone who wants to improve their personal and professional life.

I think the book is very useful and practical, as it offers a different perspective and approach to dealing with the challenges and uncertainties of life. It challenges the conventional wisdom and the common myths that we often hold about success and happiness. It shows us how to be more realistic and rational, while still being optimistic and ambitious. It also shows us how to be more humble and compassionate, while still being confident and assertive.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn from the past and apply it to the present and the future. I think it is a valuable and enjoyable read that can help you achieve success and happiness by lowering your expectations.

Introduction: Invest in things that never change

Same As Ever (2023) explores how, despite surface-level changes, the underlying patterns of human behavior and decision-making remain constant throughout history. Ultimately, it advocates for embracing simplicity within this turbulence by focusing on timeless, fundamental truths of human psychology that endure amid superficial change.

Success requires vision, so it’s logical that when you’re dreaming big, you turn your attention to the future. After all, vision boards and vision statements are designed to help us realize our goals and aspirations.

Forward-looking tools are excellent ways to keep us motivated as we work towards success. But when we’re fixated on attaining our goals, we can sometimes forget to look to the past. And it’s in the past that we not only have the chance to learn from our mistakes, but we can also observe another important element of success – human behavioral patterns.

As humans, we typically repeat patterns and behave in particular ways. And then there’s the matter of circumstances beyond our control. These elements contribute to success, no matter how hard we’ve worked to make our dreams a reality.

In this summary, you’ll learn about some aspects of human behavior and history that never change, and where to invest your attention and efforts to generate higher returns and a happier life.

Luck plays a bigger role in your life than you think

At the Battle of Long Island in 1776, George Washington’s army faced certain doom against the British fleet. The British only had to move their ships up the East River to land the final blow, but they faced a small problem. The wind was blowing in the opposite direction. And that’s what changed the course of human history forever – the direction of the wind! The Americans recouped and later won the war, creating the United States of America.

A similar random event led the US into World War I. Captain William Turner tried to save money when he set sail for Liverpool from New York, by shutting down one of his four boiler rooms on his ship, the Lusitania. As a result, the slow-moving ship had a chance encounter with a German submarine in the Celtic Sea. The Germans torpedoed the ship and therefore drew the US into World War I.

The margins were even smaller for Franklin Roosevelt, while he was campaigning for President near Miami in 1933. A man named Giuseppe Zangara intended to shoot Roosevelt. But he was barely five feet tall, so he stood on a chair to take aim. As he fired his gun, he lost his balance and killed Chicago mayor Anton Cermak instead. Roosevelt won the election two weeks later, and went on to implement his New Deal reforms that transformed – and still influence – the US economy.

These are three pivotal moments that changed the course of history, but there are countless others. And the same is true in your daily life. Random incidents happen, and these go on to influence your life in major ways.

For instance, a global pandemic might affect decisions about where you study, what job you take, and who you end up marrying. Put a few chance events together, and you see how the impact grows even bigger. Try as you might, you can never truly predict life or fully plan for it. Do what you can, and let life evolve as it always does.

To find happiness, lower expectations

John D. Rockefeller was one of the richest men who ever lived, but you have access to something he couldn’t afford – penicillin. It wasn’t available in his time, so whatever your station in life, you have one up on him.

That’s probably not going to make you pump your fist. After all, most people have access to penicillin now. And that’s exactly the point. Humans are often only happy when they can say, “I’m better off than that person.” People don’t want to be rich, they want to be richer than those around them.

Distribute luxuries equally among a group of friends or neighbors and overnight, those items become everyday necessities. Generally speaking, the quality of human life has improved over the last few hundred years, but it’s hard to make people see it that way because they don’t feel it.

When you adjust for inflation, the average family income in the US was $29,000 in 1955, $42,000 in 1965, and $71,000 in 2021. Home ownership was 12 percent lower in 1950, and the houses were smaller and less flashy than they are now. But the general mood is lower today because everyone believes things have gotten worse. In fact, the mood is so low that in 2007, the founder of dating site Match.com told The New York Times that $10 million didn’t mean much in Silicon Valley anymore.

Now, cast your mind back to the 1950s, a time Americans think fondly of. The salary gap between the wealthy and poor was narrower, so few people worried about who was earning more. They loved their small homes and enjoyed simple holidays like camping. Nowadays, vacations are the big thing, and generate prime material for social media.

These examples prove one thing. You won’t become happy by earning more or acquiring more because you instantly set the bar higher. That’s the way it’s always been. However, you can achieve happiness by managing your expectations. Lower expectations on money, the way your boss treats you, how your spouse reacts to you cleaning the kitchen, and what people think about you. That way, you’ll be delighted when circumstances exceed your expectations.

Your idols will delight and disappoint you

Eliud Kipchoge looked anything but elated for someone who’d just won gold at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. According to the excited silver and bronze medallists who waited with him before the medal ceremony, Kipchoge stared at the wall the whole time.

He’d just won gold and made his country exceedingly proud, but he didn’t bother to pick up his phone and read messages of congratulations, or see what was happening online. Strange behavior for this era, but not wholly unexpected when it comes to exceptional people.

Military strategist John Boyd was one of the best fighter pilots who ever flew an airplane. His ideas were included in the design of planes, and his manual on flying is still used to teach fighter pilot tactics, but his behavior was despicable. He was rude, disrespected his superiors, and screamed at people.

At meetings, John Boyd would chew the calluses off his hands and spit them across the table. He would torch hangars if he thought they didn’t have proper heating. Everyone recognized his genius, but they also knew he couldn’t be trusted to consider others.

Economist John Maynard Keynes had the shock of his life when he bought Isaac Newton’s original papers. He discovered that one of the most brilliant scientific minds in history had pursued alchemy and sorcery with a passion. Elon Musk, the quirk of modern times, has innovated in space and electric cars but can’t rise above petty insults on social media.

It’s sometimes difficult to grasp that exceptionally talented people can be deeply eccentric, but that’s just the way geniuses are wired. The same unique instinct that drives them towards excellence pushes them towards impropriety. Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Elon Musk, Eliud Kipchoge, and many others – that’s just the way they are.

So, how do you rationalize the behavior of your idols? Accept that prodigies have always been unconventional. It’s the full package, or nothing.

Forget numbers and tell a compelling story

President Obama had an important decision to make before deploying the Navy SEAL team tasked with killing Osama bin Laden. There was no way of knowing for sure if bin Laden was in the compound that was the military’s target. So, the President had to make a decision based on a 60-to-80 percent probability that he had the right intel. Luckily for Obama, his instincts were correct.

Attacking a military target involves higher stakes than deciding what car to buy, who to marry, or where you send your kids to school. But these examples all involve making a choice. It’s hard to predict what returns an investment will yield, or what the economy will look like next year, yet humans always want certainty. We feel anxious when faced with the unknown, and often seek out experts to replace anxiety with surety. However, the best way to progress is to make the soundest possible decision with the resources you have.

Now, what if the decision you’ve made involves other people? It helps to back up your case with stats, but these alone won’t inspire your colleagues to support your proposal or convince others to champion a social cause.

You’re better off telling a compelling story. That’s what people respond to. Morgan Freeman can move people to tears reading a grocery list. A tongue-tied scientist won’t get the same attention, no matter how many patients their medical breakthrough can cure.

One of the most important speeches in American history wouldn’t have happened if singer Mahalia Jackson hadn’t prompted Martin Luther King Jr. to shift gears. King was trying to make his case for social justice using a pre-written speech. But Mahalia Jackson read the mood at the Lincoln Memorial and asked him to share his dream instead. King listened, quickly reflected, and pushed his notes aside. Then, he told a story about his vision for the future, one that changed the course of history.

Facts bore most people at best and confuse them at worst. So, instead of bombarding people with data, tell a compelling story instead. It’s the surest way to inspire others.

How to manage growth

Warren Buffett isn’t famous for his jokes, but he once made a wise quip. He said that it’s impossible to make a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant. This is important to remember, as you consolidate your success.

The initial excitement that follows a successful venture often tempts people into growing too fast, at a rate they can’t handle. This is true for young businesses, as they try to expand their influence and take advantage of every opportunity that comes their way. But before long, they’re stretched to breaking point. When this happens, the quality of products and services dips, leading to dissatisfied customers who then look to other companies to meet their needs.

It’s also true for big corporations that try to expand through diversification, acquisitions, or mergers. There’s an optimal size beyond which a person or company starts to decline from taking on too much.

Starbucks learned this lesson the hard way. The branded coffee maker embarked on a decade-long expansion that saw it opening 2,500 stores per year. But that made Starbucks too commonplace to be cool, so it had to scale back.

Perhaps even more profound is the price you pay for not reinvesting in the fundamentals of your own business. Consider a young tree that grows under the shade of larger trees. It won’t get as much sunlight, so it won’t grow that fast. What it gets in return though is dense, sturdy hardwood.

A tree that grows out in the sun without protection, on the other hand, gains height faster but eventually produces soft, airy wood that’s prone to fungus attack.

It’s the way of the world to chase rapid growth, but now that you know better, exercise some patience and grow at a sustainable pace. Don’t let pessimism blind you to opportunities, but don’t be so optimistic that you take unnecessary risks. Find the right balance, knowing you can’t predict the future. That sweet spot will help you get a handle on life.

Life can be surprisingly easy

Prominent cancer researcher Robert Weinberg once made an illuminating remark on the state of cancer treatment. He said it was easy to stop people dying from cancer if they avoided cancer in the first place. But going around persuading people to give up habits that cause cancer isn’t an intellectually stimulating challenge.

Weinberg isn’t alone. Humans derive a weird satisfaction from solving complex problems. But is it worth all the anxiety? Aren’t you better served on the less complicated path of simplicity? Think about the number of times you’ve tied yourself up in knots just so you could say, “I overcame that!”

Many times it’s not necessary. Instead, make your life easier by cutting out what’s unnecessary. If you’re learning a subject, focus on mastering its core principles. These can what generate the highest returns, no matter what field you dabble in. Preserve brain capacity for bigger things.

Learn from nature, in which every species adapts to perform its most important task in the easiest way possible. Animals used to have hundreds of teeth, but evolution simplified them into molars, canines, and incisors, according to how they find and consume food.

There are countless things you could learn about personal finance. But if you spend less than you earn and invest what you save, you’ve mastered 90 percent of all you need to know about growing wealth.

The same could be applied to your health. A good diet, moderate exercise, and adequate sleep sound easy, but people find ways of complicating health with processed food and supplements. You won’t win any awards for complexity.

The true miracle of life is choosing the simple things and giving them the time to compound into bigger and better skills, jobs, healthy habits, investments, relationships, and wisdom. That is the pathway to true happiness and success.

Conclusion

Some aspects of human behavior and history never change, and knowing this can help you navigate through life. For instance, luck plays a much larger role in shaping events than we give it credit for. Random events that go on to have big impacts are the norm in daily life.

It’s important to remember that we all have a tendency to want more, not because we’re lacking anything but simply so that we have the same as everyone else. But this comes at a huge cost to our happiness.

And no matter what your goals are, when it comes to progress, a slow, steady, long-term mindset will help you move forward. So, invest in your growth, lower expectations, and avoid things that will cause you physical distress and anxiety.

Finally, filter out the noise of sensational news and people trying to dazzle. Apply the core principles of your particular discipline consistently over time and you’ll have chosen the path that has served successful people in the past, and will benefit you in the future.

About the Author

Morgan Housel