Podcast Summary: The Science of Productive Conflict by Adam Grant

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Remember your last conflict, either at home or at work. What was it about? Were you unable to agree on how a task ought to be completed? Or did deeper issues of personality and values come into play? Did one or both of you try to pull rank? In this episode of WorkLife, organizational psychologist Adam Grant and his expert guests illustrate how defining the nature of a conflict can be the first step to reaching a resolution.

Take-Aways

• The first step to productive conflict is to develop a thorough understanding of what the conflict is really about.
• The “ladder of inference” conflict model can help you recognize the observations, assumptions and conclusions at the heart of the conflict.
• When dealing with status conflict, first clarify each person’s role. Then express appreciation for the skills each person brings to the table.
• When a conflict threatens to derail a team, invite all parties to contribute to a solution.

Summary

The first step to productive conflict is to develop a thorough understanding of what the conflict is really about.

When people agree to disagree, they are missing an opportunity to work together to reach a resolution. Conflicts are inevitable, and they can be uncomfortable, but they are rarely unsolvable.

“The goal isn’t to have less conflict; it’s to have the right kind of conflict.” (Adam Grant)

Author Glennon Doyle has an ongoing conflict with her wife, retired soccer player Abby Wambach. When Wambach orders takeout, she buys as many as five pizzas for their family of five. For Doyle, who grew up in a prudent family, five pizzas for five people feels over-indulgent. But in Wambach’s mind, she’s protecting her children from scarcity when she orders too much food. Wambach sees her actions as nurturing, but Doyle views over-ordering as wasteful. The couple fights about this issue regularly.

The “ladder of inference” conflict model can help you recognize the observations, assumptions and conclusions at the heart of a conflict.

Sometimes the first step to resolving a conflict is to disentangle observations, assumptions and conclusions using a model called the “ladder of inference.” At the bottom rung, Doyle observes that Wambach buys too much food. Doyle then climbs to the assumption rung of the ladder of inference by supposing that Wambach is OK with squandering money and food. Doyle might ultimately conclude that Wambach is wasteful.

“In conflict, the mistake we make is that we argue only about our conclusions…What we need to do is walk down the ladder to share our observations and assumptions – and invite the other person to do the same.” (Adam Grant)

When Doyle and Wambach have this fight, they’re arguing on the top rung of that ladder – the level of conclusions. Doyle might say “You’re wasteful!” Wambach responds with her own conclusions, “No I’m not, I’m caring…and you’re controlling!” If Doyle and Wambach climb down a couple of rungs on the ladder of inference, they’ll move from conclusions to observations, cultivating a more productive conversation. They could, for example, observe and discuss how their personalities complement each other. Wambach might share her early experiences with food scarcity, and Doyle could contribute her thoughts on frugality. Such a conversation would prompt deeper understandings and solutions that align with both of their values: For instance, Wambach can order as much food as she wants, satisfying her need for abundance, if the family commits to eating the leftovers, satisfying Doyle’s desire not to waste food and money.

When dealing with status conflict, first clarify each person’s role. Then express appreciation for the skills each person brings to the table.

Conflict has numerous varieties, so recognize what kind of conflict you’re embroiled in. Task conflict involves a disagreement about a problem, a solution or a decision. Relationship conflicts are arguments about personality and values. Relationship conflicts are unproductive, as you can’t change someone’s personality. So bring the focus of the argument back to the task to avoid damaging the relationship.

“When someone disappoints you, it’s not because of their actions. It’s because of a clash between their actions and your expectations.” (Adam Grant)

Status conflict involves questions of hierarchy. To limit status conflict in the workplace, start new projects by discussing each team member’s skill set. Have an explicit discussion about which role each person will play in completing a successful project. This will help team members to appreciate the contributions of their team members. Next, build respect. For example, encourage people to acknowledge their co-workers’ contributions aloud, with statements like, “I admire your expertise on financial markets” or “I appreciate how hard you work on tasks that aren’t even in your job description.” Verbal affirmation can help people lower their defenses and get back to work.

When a conflict threatens to derail a team, invite all parties to contribute to a solution.

All manner of clashes can foster discord within a team. Perhaps new hires and veterans don’t share the same perspective, or early birds and night owls clash over the best time to hold meetings. Expensify, a software company that designs expense management systems, boasts a corporate culture of tackling conflict head on. Employees post their problems on Slack. Colleagues pitch in to define and diagnose the problem before working together to suggest solutions.

“Harmony isn’t the combination of identical sounds. It’s the pleasing arrangement of different tones, different voices, or different instruments. Creative tension can make beautiful music.” (Adam Grant)

When a culture welcomes conflict, people are unafraid to raise objections, and they work together to improve the status quo. When individuals agree on the problem, they have a better shot at finding a solution that works for everyone. If an ideal resolution lies out of reach, the participants have at least strengthened their ability to build consensus by collaborating to define the problem.

About the Podcast

Organizational psychologist Adam Grant is the author of several books and the host of WorkLife, a podcast that explores the science of making work more enjoyable.