Set Expectations high with Live Free, a liberating book by DeVon Franklin that empowers you to break free and discover your purpose. Embrace this transformative journey towards a life guided by your deepest values. Dive in and live life to the fullest today!
In Live Free, DeVon Franklin shares his personal journey and insights on overcoming obstacles, finding purpose and passion, and living life to the fullest according to your convictions. Drawing from his own experiences as well as interviews with leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Franklin provides a roadmap to help readers break free from what holds them back so they can live meaningful, fulfilled lives aligned with their faith.
Overall, Live Free is an inspiring read for those looking to transform their lives by discovering their calling, overcoming challenges, and staying grounded in their values. Franklin combines spiritual wisdom and practical advice to guide readers towards liberation and purpose. While some of the religious aspects may resonate more with a Judeo-Christian audience, the book’s central message around embracing freedom and wholeness is universally applicable.
Table of Contents
Genres
Motivation, Inspiration, Personal Development, Religion, Spirituality, Self-help, Personal growth, Christianity, Memoir, African American Literature
Live Free (2021) discusses the importance of set expectations properly in all areas of life in order to live freely and happily. From navigating the complexities of relationships and cultural norms to redefining success in your professional life, it offers insights and strategies for setting and communicating expectations that resonate with your true self.
Introduction: Discover how setting clear expectations leads to a freer, more authentic life
Have you caught yourself chasing someone else’s dreams? Or perhaps you feel stuck in a life dictated by unspoken rules and norms. Wouldn’t it be great if you could break free from the invisible chains of perfectionism, cultural conformity, and unrealistic standards that cloud your judgment and hinder your growth?
This summary will show you exactly how to do that. You’ll dive into the essence of expectations – the ones you set for yourself and the ones set by others. But there’s a twist – this isn’t a tale of rebellious abandonment of all personal, cultural, relational, and professional expectations. Instead, it’s a thoughtful, practical approach to reevaluating and reshaping expectations to align with your authentic self.
Ready to redefine freedom on your own terms? Let’s begin crafting a life that’s truly yours.
Set expectations for yourself
Have you ever wondered how the silent demands of life shape your reality? Take a moment to think about the weight of expectations you carry – the “shoulds” and “musts” that you’ve absorbed from the rules of society, the whispers of family traditions, and the subtle hues of cultural norms. Are they really yours, or are they borrowed dreams and borrowed burdens?
These unexamined expectations are like outdated software programs running in the background of your life, slowing you down, and preventing you from experiencing true freedom. But here’s a little secret: it doesn’t have to be this way.
You have the power to rewrite the programs that have been downloaded from the world around you without your consent. You can sculpt your own expectations, sift through the clutter of unspoken demands, and choose which to cherish and which to cast away.
To live freely and at your best, all you have to do is set expectations. Set expectations properly is a process of identifying which ones to release and which to keep, aligning them with reality, then communicating them clearly.
Here’s how you embark on this journey of reprogramming. Start by letting go of expectations that don’t serve you. Release those perfectionistic or suppressed expectations that were programmed in your childhood. Instead, set new expectations – ones that you choose, that spark joy and foster your authentic self. After all, if they don’t add to your joy, why keep them? It’s not about living up to what others expect of you but rather prioritizing self-care and authenticity. It takes bravery to risk disappointing others, but the reward is living a life that’s true to who you are.
Be sure to examine the expectations you decide to keep. Are they grounded in reality, or are they fantastical ideals sold to you by popular culture, ads, and the curated reels on social media? These sources are merchants of dreams, often selling visions that lead to disappointment. It’s essential to steer clear of comparisons, unrealistic beauty standards, and excessive pressures that can backfire spectacularly. Your true sphere of control lies soley in your own actions and attitudes. Shift your expectations to things within your grasp, like the effort you put in and the joy you have at the present moment. Believe it or not, happiness isn’t an elusive treasure; it’s a mindset, readily attainable regardless of your circumstances and the outcomes of your efforts.
Once you’ve recalibrated your expectations, the next step is to express them to those around you. Remember, the people in your life don’t have telepathic abilities. At the same time, it’s vital to respect that they have their own paths to follow. Mastering the art of communication means learning where to draw the line with boundaries. Yes, sometimes, people will turn you down – and that’s okay! Disappointment is an inevitable guest in the human experience. Deal with it gracefully. And never forget, just as others may say no, so can you. Staying true to yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you honor your own needs and feelings.
When you set expectations with intention, you aren’t just surviving; you’re crafting a life that allows you the freedom to flourish. But keep in mind that this isn’t just a one-time fix; it’s an ongoing journey of personal evolution. Your inner programming, a.k.a. your expectations, requires continuous updates. With every new chapter of your life, you can rewrite the code once more, ensuring you’re the one in control.
Expectations imposed by your culture
Imagine that you’re walking a path laid out before you by countless footsteps – a path of cultural expectations. It’s familiar, lined with the beliefs, attitudes, and values of those who’ve walked it before you. Family, friends, society … their voices issue instructions about which turn to take. Sounds overwhelming, right?
But the path isn’t actually set in stone. You’re free to veer off it, if you want to. It might feel rebellious, but liberation lies in choosing your own path. This doesn’t necessarily mean an all-out sprint away from every cultural norm – after all, some may resonate deeply with who you are. It means unearthing those expectations, examining them with the care of an archaeologist, and then deciding which pieces of the past serve your present by amplifying your authentic self.
Respecting your culture doesn’t mean you can’t forge your own path within it. It’s okay to diverge, to venture into uncharted territory that feels more like home. And in doing so, you might even become a beacon for others who are yearning to step into their own light.
Now, let’s shift gears and talk about something a bit more esoteric – faith. Faith forms the bedrock of numerous cultural landscapes, and it’s just as filled with expectations. More often than not, you’ll find yourself scripting a role for the divine, placing expectations on a higher being, and on what they should provide. And when your prayers are seemingly unheard, doubt clouds your vision and you begin to question your faith.
What if, instead of questioning, you took a step back and reassessed your expectations? What if you saw unanswered prayers not as silence, but as an invitation to trust a grander plan? Remember, faith is a two-way street. It requires action as well as requests, belief as well as words – a partnership with the divine. Instead of perceiving obstacles as barriers, what if you saw them as the rough terrain on your journey to blessings? When it comes to faith, stay open to the unexpected. Often, blessings wear clever disguises and emerge far grander than your wildest dreams.
As you stand on your path, remember that both culture and faith offer maps, but you’re the navigator. Your life is a canvas, and you hold the brush. It takes courage to paint outside the lines, but doing so allows you to create a life that’s authentically yours, free from cultural expectations.
Expectations in your relationships
No doubt, you’ve sometimes found yourself sitting across from your partner, a silent storm brewing inside you. You’ve felt disappointed and resentful because they didn’t do something you expected them to. But the heart of these feelings might not be what you think.
You see, it’s easy to get lost in a fantasy of what you think your partner should be like, how they should react, and what they should understand about you. However, when reality doesn’t align with these unshared dreams, it’s not their flaws casting a shadow on your relationship – it’s expectations that were never voiced. But how fair is it to hold someone accountable for an expectation you’ve never shared in the first place?
Those silent hopes and assumptions you carry around, they’re vision-distorting lenses that can skew the reality of who your partner is and what they’re capable of offering. Let’s be candid – mind reading isn’t a prerequisite for a loving relationship. However, the courage to voice your needs is. Yes, that might feel daunting. Maybe you’ve been taught to keep the peace, to not “rock the boat.” Or perhaps you secretly believe you’re not worthy of having your needs met. But when you mute your own voice, you’re not just silencing words. You’re stifling the growth of your relationship.
What if, instead of assumptions, you had clear, heartfelt conversations? Trade in that bitterness brewing inside for a collaborative effort to set and respect expectations. Yes, this means telling your partner what you need and asking the big question: “Can you meet me here?” Once they agree, only then can you hold them accountable.
And it doesn’t end there. You need relationship checkups, a time to exchange feedback, to tune into each other’s frequencies, and to really listen – not just to respond, but to understand and grow. Because let’s face it, even love needs fine tuning now and then.
This exchange is especially true in terms of intimacy. If your bedroom has become more of a boardroom, it’s time to talk. With tenderness and vulnerability, navigate the conversation about your sexual needs. And if you find the waters too deep to wade through alone, there’s no shame in speaking to a counselor.
Keep in mind that in a relationship, the music stops the moment you try to choreograph your partner’s every step. Remember, the only moves you can dictate are your own. Trying to steer someone else’s actions is a futile quest, one that does more harm than good. It’s best to embrace your partner’s true self, quirks and all, rather than casting them away for not living up to a fantasy.
So, what’s the secret to a blissful bond? It starts within you. Happiness is an inside job, and it’s time to take charge of your own contentment. Don’t expect your spouse to be your source of happiness. Contribute to each other’s happiness instead. That’s when the magic happens.
If you’re sailing solo at the moment, the expectations you need to let go of are those of society and past relationship disappointments. Instead of crumbling under the pressure, embrace this season of self-discovery. Cultivate self-care, sow seeds of love within yourself, and when the time comes, you’ll be ready to harvest a relationship that reflects the love you’ve nurtured.
When this new love beckons, step into it with clarity. Communicate your core, your boundaries, your truths. Don’t compromise just to be with someone. Relationship success is about finding a person who resonates with your own values and dreams.
In love’s grand tapestry, the threads of realistic expectations, open communication, and personal happiness are woven together. Don’t seek to control; instead, seek to share, to understand, to grow. Be ready for love, be open to change, and most of all, be true – to yourself, your partner, and the love you both deserve.
Expectations in your professional life
Picture this: your career is a canvas, and each day you add to it, shaping a masterpiece that’s uniquely yours. But there’s a twist. The colors you choose and the strokes you make are influenced not just by your artistic vision but by the expectations of an unseen curator – your employer.
The professional landscape is a realm distinct from other areas of your life. Here, you’ve agreed to meet your employer’s expectations in return for that much-awaited paycheck. When considering your own expectations around job performance and advancement, it’s important to be mindful of this dynamic. Before you race ahead dreaming about climbing the career ladder, it’s crucial to meet your current obligations.
In the workplace, understanding and exceeding your boss’s expectations can fast track career advancement. Go beyond merely meeting the baseline; be proactive in understanding both the stated and unstated expectations. This could mean observing, asking thorough questions, and even reading between the lines to truly decode your boss’s priorities, working style, and expected deliverables. And don’t just stop there – offer solutions, add value beyond your role, and make your contributions impossible to ignore.
Goal setting is a vital part of your career journey but beware of “fake goals” – those that echo someone else’s dreams or have sprouted from your own unrealistic aspirations. Goals that don’t resonate with your true self are like misdirected GPS signals, leading you off your intended path. Authentic goals should energize and motivate you, not drain you.
Disregard your “fake goals” and start setting ones that ignite your passion, that are ambitious yet attainable. They should realistically align with your skills and purpose. Seek accurate information on how long your goals will likely take. Adjust your timelines if necessary, but always keep your plans flexible and your mindset positive.
And remember, while you control your present actions, the timelines for achieving your goals may not always be in your hands. That coveted promotion might take longer than you think. Focus on what you can control now, which is your process – the daily actions, the gradual skill-building, the moments of learning that shape you into an exceptional professional. Embrace this process. It’s in these moments of dedicated effort and focus that the seeds of future success are sown.
If the time comes when your expectations in your career are no longer fulfilled by your current company, listen closely to your inner whispers. What do you really want from your career? How does your current job fit into this vision? If there’s a disconnect, acknowledge it. It’s important to find work that’s meaningful to you. Sometimes, the bravest step is to plan a transition, even if it means stepping into the unknown.
In the end, it’s about striking a balance – meeting expectations, setting realistic goals, and staying true to yourself. Remember, you deserve a career that’s not just a job, but a reflection of your deepest aspirations.
Conclusion
You can live a freer, more authentic life by examining your expectations, releasing those imposed on you by others, and intentionally embracing those that align with your true self. This journey begins within, by opening your eyes to the silent scripts running your life. Have the courage to release limiting expectations from the past. Instead, intentionally choose expectations that enable your highest self – ones rooted in reality, self-knowledge, and authentic dreams. Communicate these mindfully in all areas of life. Stay open and proactive in relationships, exceed expectations professionally while honoring your skills and purpose, and let your cultural values guide you – not confine you.
Expectations are not shackles unless you let them be. They’re meant to provide healthy structure and purposeful direction. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Your authentic path awaits – now walk it boldly.
Also read: Summary: Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life