Summary: Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger

Magic Words is a fascinating and useful book that shows how language can be a powerful tool for influencing and inspiring others, as well as ourselves. It is a book that can help anyone who wants to improve their communication skills, persuasion abilities, and personal and professional success.

If you are interested in learning more about Magic Words and how to use them, read on to find out about the author’s background, the main takeaways and insights from each chapter, and the key lessons and action steps that you can apply to your own life.

Recommendation

Words are the building blocks of all communication, yet people seldom consider the degree to which their choice of words can change the effect and efficacy of a message. Jonah Berger, a language processing expert, uses new tools such as automated text analysis to explain how you can influence, persuade, engage or even write a chart hit simply by substituting one word or phrase for another. He identifies six categories of “magic” words that will boost your communication prowess – helping you better motivate teammates, strengthen relationships and even get five-year-olds to put their toys away.

Take-Aways

• Words are the often-overlooked building blocks of human communication.
• Increase feelings of empowerment by harnessing language that “activates identity and agency.”
• “Convey confidence” by channeling your inner lawyer.
• “Ask the right questions” to make a positive impression, deflect difficult inquiries and show you care.
• “Leverage concreteness” to make communications easier to absorb, increase engagement and spur action.
• “Employ emotion” to connect on a deeper level.
• “Harness similarity (and difference)” to signal belonging or to stand out.
• Text analysis reveals much about people and societies and can even predict future behavior.

Summary

Words are the often-overlooked building blocks of human communication.

Humans rely on words to communicate and engage with other people. Words are also the elementary units of your innermost thoughts. But while people use language every day in almost everything they do, they rarely think about how some words make more of an impression than others. For example, research shows that adding the word “because” to a request increases the likelihood of fulfillment by as much as 50%. Some 32% more people respond to a suggestion when you use “recommend” instead of “like,” and when men include the word “whom” on a matchmaking site, they’re 31% more likely to get a date.

“The right words, used at the right time, can change minds, engage audiences and drive action.”

“Magic words” that engage, persuade, convince and influence fall into six categories: “the language of identity and agency, the language of confidence, the language of questions, the language of concreteness, the language of emotion” and “the language of similarity (or difference).”

Increase feelings of empowerment by harnessing language that “activates identity and agency.”

Researchers at Bing, Stanford University’s lab nursery school, found that four- and five-year-olds were more likely to participate in activities like picking up toys when asked to “be a helper” rather than “to help.” This exercise confirmed that it’s more persuasive to turn an action, described with a verb, into an identity, labeled with a noun. For example, Rebecca might go for a run, but Fred identifies as a “runner.” It’s more convincing to be a “hard worker” rather than someone who works hard, and in 2008, researchers discovered that 15% more people showed up at the polls when asked to “be a voter” instead of merely “to vote.”

Simply substituting the words “I don’t” for “I can’t” doubles your ability to resist temptation and achieve your goal. Saying “I don’t” to yourself or others signals resolve and describes a character trait. “I can’t,” on the other hand, implies a thwarted desire. Therefore, you “don’t” eat sweets after meals instead of you “can’t” have dessert. Similarly, asking yourself what you “could” do to solve a problem or navigate a moral dilemma is more effective than thinking about what you “should” do. Considering what you should do often feels like a win/lose proposition. Unless it’s a question of right versus wrong, “should” is limiting. Conversely, contemplating what you “could” do fosters creative thinking and leads to more innovative solutions.

“Words do more than just convey information. They signal who’s in charge, who’s to blame and what it means to engage in a particular action.”

When someone is worried or anxious, offering unbiased advice and positive affirmations is easy. However, when you’re harboring these feelings, negative emotions can get the better of you. Talking to yourself in the second or third person diffuses self-doubt and provides distance and objectivity. Therefore, Jane might ask herself, “Why is Jane anxious about the speech?” rather than thinking, “I’m so nervous about the presentation.” Using the pronouns “I” and “you” strategically increases engagement in some situations. For example, a social media post that includes “you” – say, “Five Ways You Can Save Money” – is relevant to readers. However, “you” can also imply responsibility or blame. So saying “You can fix the printer” is more off-putting than stating that “the printer needs fixing.”

“Convey confidence” by channeling your inner lawyer.

An analysis of courtroom speech revealed that lawyers, judges and expert witnesses speak differently than ordinary people. They “speak with power”: Their language contains few formalities (“please” or “yes, sir”), fillers (“uh” or “um”), hesitations (“you know”) or qualifiers (“maybe” or “sort of”), and they seldom turn statements into questions, such as, “He was in the room, wasn’t he?”

“Speaking with power makes people seem confident. It makes them seem more certain, self-assured, and knowledgeable, which makes audiences more likely to listen and change their minds.”

When someone’s speech is self-assured and resolute, it projects confidence. Listeners are more likely to believe confident communicators when making choices such as selecting a financial adviser, responding to a sales pitch or deciding to support a candidate. Speak with confidence in the following four ways:

1. “Ditch the hedges” – Words like “might, “could” and “guess,” or qualifiers like “in my opinion” or “kind of” project uncertainty. In contrast, unambiguous words, such as “definitely,” “clearly” and “obviously,” signal conviction and increase believability.
2. “Don’t hesitate” – Eliminate fillers, such as “um” or “uh,” which undermine your authority.
3. “Turn pasts into presents” – Messages in the present tense are more persuasive than those in the past tense. Thus, “This book is a good read” is more convincing than “This book was a good read.”
4. “Know when to express doubt” – When discussing polarizing subjects such as politics, expressing doubt is one way to get the other party to listen. Using tentative language or admitting uncertainty during contentious conversations frames you as less threatening and helps the other party become less defensive and more open, allowing you to have a more fruitful conversation.

“Ask the right questions” to make a positive impression, deflect difficult inquiries and show you care.

In general, people feel flattered when someone asks them for advice. Doing so is a more effective way to forge a connection than overt flattery, which engenders feelings of distrust. Asking for advice is one type of “magic” question. In addition to seeking information, inquiries convey the questioner’s attributes, influence a conversation’s direction and facilitate relationships.

“Knowing what to ask, and when, can help us make better impressions, collect useful information and foster more meaningful connections with those around us.”

Ask potent magic questions in four ways:

1. “Follow up” – Research confirms that people respond positively to someone who asks them about themselves, and even more so when that person asks follow-up questions. This type of question, which encourages people to continue talking and provide details, demonstrates attentiveness and responsiveness.
2. “Deflect difficulty” – Imagine you’re at a job interview, and the interviewer asks what you earned at your previous job. Answering honestly hurts your ability to negotiate, but refusing to answer makes you appear uncooperative. When faced with such difficult situations, deflect by asking a relevant question. For example, respond by saying, “Can you share a bit more detail about the salary range for this position?” Now, you seem interested rather than evasive.
3. “Avoid making assumptions” – By avoiding questions based on positive assumptions, you can encourage people to be more forthcoming with negative information. For example, if you are buying a used iPad, the seller might not want to reveal that it tends to freeze, so ask a question that assumes there’s an issue, such as, “What problems does it have?”
4. “Start safe, then build” – A probing question, like, “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?” provokes people to reflect and open up. However, if you ask a stranger such a profoundly personal question, you’ll scare that person away. Start small and safe with an ice-breaker, such as, “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” Such questions give both of you a chance to reveal something low-stakes about yourselves, such as your hobbies. Build from there with, “What do you value most in friendship?” or “What is your most treasured memory?” Only when trust is established can you crescendo to “Share an embarrassing moment in your life” or “When did you last cry?” When one person reveals personal information, and the other person reciprocates, the pair builds trust and connection.

“Leverage concreteness” to make communications easier to absorb, increase engagement and spur action.

A study of hundreds of customer service calls revealed that “linguistic concreteness” – using specific words rather than vague language – boosts customer satisfaction. Moreover, when retailers used concrete language in emails, sales increased by 30%. Thus, when service representatives respond to a request for shoes by saying, “I’ll locate those lime green Nikes for you,” customers feel better served than if they said, “I’ll look for the shoes.” People feel understood when listeners pay attention to details and show that they are listening. Concrete language increases engagement, spurs action, and makes ideas and concepts easier to understand and remember.

“Want to be more concrete? Focus on the how…Want to be more abstract? Focus on the why.”

Experts often speak in abstractions and use acronyms and industry-specific jargon. However, if you want people to understand your point, make it concrete. For instance, it’s a phone, not a device; a solution, not an “ideation”; and an employee, not “human capital.” Reserve abstract language for forecasting and describing potential possibilities. For example, entrepreneurs are more likely to attract investors when their pitches use abstract language that leave room to imagine a rosy future.

“Employ emotion” to connect on a deeper level.

A story is more captivating when you take listeners on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. Consider the Harry Potter and Star Wars series, which follow protagonists as they confront adversity and overcome heartbreak. The unpredictability and emotional voyage make the story more enjoyable and interesting.

“Low points, or depths of despair, make the high points that much more powerful…Victories are savored more when they’re snatched from the jaws of defeat.”

Emotional language enhances any story, and storytelling is a learnable skill. Words that express feelings or describe emotional responses, rather than those that appeal solely to the intellect, resonate more deeply with listeners. For example, food labeled as “healthy” or “reasonably priced” is less enticing than “enjoyable” or “mouthwatering.” A study of thousands of Amazon reviews found that emotional language worked best when describing more hedonic categories, such as music, and less so for utilitarian objects, such as razors. Problem-solving or decision-making conversations are most productive when they begin with warm, emotional language to forge a connection and then move on to cognitive language.

“Harness similarity (and difference)” to signal belonging or to stand out.

The context of language is revealing. Consider how one person’s word choice affects other people in the group. A Stanford University study examined beer lovers’ posts on the RateBeer website. They discovered that, over time, users adopted the language and terminology of the online community. This “linguistic similarity” signaled that they belonged to the group. Language is also significant in the context of organizational culture. Companies use language differently. Some gravitate toward direct, unembellished communication, while others are more expressive. Adopting a similar linguistic style is one way that employees fit in. Research shows that employees with linguistic styles aligned with the corporate norm were more likely to receive positive performance reviews and promotions.

Linguistic similarity is beneficial when affiliating with a larger group because it boosts feelings of trust and comfort. However, language that differentiates is advantageous in creative endeavors as it garners attention. For example, music that surprises, such as the rap score of the play Hamilton, attracts notice.

“By beginning to understand and notice linguistic similarity, we can communicate more effectively, craft better content, and gain more insight into why some things succeed and others fail.”

Some words and phrases are often found together, such as “dog” and “friendly,” or “cat” and “aloof.” “Word embedding” visualizes word connections in graphic form. Just as people pair some words, parts of a complete work, such as a movie or book, are also related. While consecutive passages in a book or movie are at least loosely linked, as the piece progresses, they may move farther apart. The story begins in one place and ends in another. Examining how quickly the ideas expressed through language evolve in popular books, films and television programs provides a storytelling template. Start slowly to engage your audience and build momentum to increase enthusiasm.

Text analysis reveals much about people and societies and can even predict future behavior.

The words people use to engage and influence others leave telltale impressions. For example, for centuries, experts hotly contested the author of the play Double Falsehood, which debuted at London’s Theatre Royal in 1727. Playwright Lewis Theobald claimed he adapted it from a long-lost William Shakespeare manuscript. Others suggested that Theobald wrote the play and credited Shakespeare to sell more tickets. Finally, in 2015, behavioral scientists used text analysis software to solve the centuries-old debate in favor of Shakespeare and his co-author, John Fletcher.

“Words not only influence and affect the people who listen to or read them, they also reflect and reveal things about the person (or people) who created them.”

Text analysis is a great tool for discerning a source’s age, views and characteristics. It also helps predict future behavior. For example, researchers studied more than 120,000 loan requests and identified language that pinpointed the applicants who were most likely to repay the loan and those who would probably default. Text analysis also uncovered how language used to describe women in hiring and promotion scenarios worked to their disadvantage. In 2017, Stanford University scientists examined body camera footage from thousands of traffic stops in Oakland, California. They discovered that officers used less-polite language when speaking with Black drivers than with white community members, regardless of the race of the police officer.

Illusionists utter magic words like “abracadabra” and “open sesame” to manifest seeming impossibilities. Using the right words at the right time can have magical results – they can persuade, engage and connect – but you don’t need to be a magician to use them.

About the Author

Jonah Berger is the author of Contagious, Invisible Influence and The Catalyst. He is a professor of marketing at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

Genres

Nonfiction, psychology, communication, business, writing, self-help, language, marketing, persuasion, and education

Review

Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way is a book by Jonah Berger, a marketing professor and bestselling author, that reveals the hidden science behind how language works and how we can use it more effectively to persuade others, deepen relationships, and be more successful at home and at work. The book is based on cutting-edge research in fields such as machine learning, computational linguistics, and natural language processing, as well as real-world examples and stories from various domains and contexts. The book introduces six types of magic words that can increase our impact in every area of life, and provides practical tips and techniques on how to apply them.

The six types of magic words are:

• Labels: Words that assign a category or identity to something or someone, and influence how we perceive and behave towards them. For example, calling someone a “friend” can make them more likely to help us, or calling a product “new” can make it more appealing.
• Questions: Words that elicit a response or a reaction from others, and shape how they think and act. For example, asking someone “Why?” can make them more motivated to do something, or asking them “How?” can make them more confident and capable.
• Stories: Words that narrate a sequence of events or actions, and engage and persuade others. For example, telling a story can make a message more memorable and convincing, or using a story structure can make a presentation more effective and compelling.
• Metaphors: Words that compare one thing to another, and help others understand and appreciate something better. For example, using a metaphor can make an abstract concept more concrete and relatable, or make a familiar thing more surprising and novel.
• Rhymes: Words that sound similar or identical, and make something more catchy and credible. For example, using a rhyme can make a slogan more memorable and persuasive, or make a claim more believable and trustworthy.
• Power Words: Words that convey emotion or intensity, and make something more appealing or aversive. For example, using a power word can make a product more desirable or a problem more urgent, or make a compliment more sincere or a criticism more harsh.

The book explains the psychological mechanisms and the empirical evidence behind each type of magic word, and illustrates how they can be used in various situations and scenarios, such as sales, marketing, leadership, negotiation, education, communication, and creativity. The book also warns about the potential pitfalls and limitations of using magic words, and advises how to avoid them and use them ethically and responsibly.