Summary: Your Invisible Network: How to Create, Maintain, and Leverage the Relationships That Will Transform Your Career by Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher

Recommendation

Meritocracy is an ideal, not a reality. In truth, your career advancement hinges on other people. This is why, executive coach Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher explains, it’s essential to forge connections and nurture mutually beneficial relationships with a wide array of contacts. Learn how leveraging your “invisible network” – which includes both yet-to-be-forged connections and underdeveloped ones – helps you analyze opportunities, deftly navigate office politics, take risks with confidence and find collaborators in your quest for achievement.

Take-Aways

• Your professional advancement relies on your ability to initiate and maintain relationships.
• Building, maintaining and using your relationships form the core of productive professional networking.
• Harness your relationships to connect to new people, ideas and opportunities.
• Competence is the foundation on which strong networking skills are built.
• Connect regularly and meaningfully with those in your invisible network.
• Act on your curiosity, instigate interactions and try something new.
• Sharing stories of wrong turns, disappointments and doubts deepens connections.
• Develop a clear understanding of what you want and how to ask for it, and persevere.
• Healthy relationships involve mutual giving and receiving, but not exact reciprocity.

Summary

Your professional advancement relies on your ability to initiate and maintain relationships.

Most people see relationship-building as a less critical aspect of their career growth than the day-to-day tasks associated with their jobs. Developing relationships is not something you can afford to ignore, however; doing so is essential to your professional development. Through your relationships, you gain the insights needed to accurately analyze opportunities, get help in navigating office politics, receive the support necessary to take risks and find collaborators for reaching shared goals. Taking an active role in someone else’s path to achievement can also be incredibly fulfilling.

“If you have solid, expansive, extensive relationships, you can achieve your aims; and if you don’t, your career will be hobbled.”

You have an invisible network of people who are in a position to contribute to your growth and advancement. With an investment of just 20 minutes a day, you can grow this network of yet-to-be-tapped and underdeveloped connections into an asset bank that will enrich your career.

Building, maintaining and using your relationships form the core of productive professional networking.

Relationship-building is a three-part skill: building, maintaining and using your connections. Understanding several related concepts will help you succeed in mastering this skill:

• Reciprocity – All people strive to get what they need, regardless of whether the relationship is personal or professional.
• Categories of connections – Leverage “weak ties,” such as former classmates or neighbors, in addition to close ones.
• Taking the initiative – Reach out to others, even though you might not always get a response or the reaction you desire.
• Making conversation – Learn conversational best practices, but don’t try to predict how a conversation will go ahead of time.
• Going deeper – Follow up on what you learn during conversations. Share your stories of fear and failure, and note “bids” – that is, attempts by others to draw closer.
• Patience and continued effort – Forging meaningful relationships takes time. Appreciate that the payoff may not come for many years.
• Network management – You need systems and strategies for maintaining your growing network.
• Mentorship and sponsorship – Identify people who might act as mentors or sponsors. Engage with superiors as well as teammates.
• Hierarchies – Your connections won’t always be peer-to-peer. Knowing how to build relationships with higher-ups is vital.
• Asking for help – Read each situation to discern the best way to ask for what you need.
• Paying it forward – Don’t only look to connect with people who can give you a boost; look for those you can help, too.
• Creating group connections – Exert your “convening power”: bringing groups of people together to maximize networking effects.
• Boundaries – Be judicious when choosing who to help and which requests deserve your time and attention.

Harness your relationships to connect to new people, ideas and opportunities.

Genuine relationships develop through sincere, authentic interactions. The “relationship code” outlines six rules that characterize real relationships. Use the code to assess your relationships:

• Relationships require give and take – The balance changes with time and circumstance. Exchanges take many forms, including guidance and counsel, care and concern, time and attention, validation and support, and gifts and favors.
• Relationships involve an ongoing calibration and equalizing of needs – Determine the underlying needs by asking yourself, “Why is this important to that person?”
• People signal interest in deepening a relationship through “bids” – These might include offering to spend time together or connecting over a common interest.
• Good relationships are open and authentic – Relationships grow when those involved demonstrate genuine interest in each other and share personal details.
• Ease of connection is not a significant relationship measure – Just because you connect easily with someone doesn’t mean the relationship is inherently worth pursuing. You can find shared interests even with people who may seem different from you.
• When people’s needs or expectations are misaligned, tensions arise – Address problems calmly and respectfully. State the situation as you see it, and describe how it makes you feel. Explain your view and ask for the other person’s perspective.

Competence is the foundation on which strong networking skills are built.

For some people who have worked hard to attain an education and rightfully earn their position, learning that advancement relies on building a network can be upsetting. However, except for cases of blatant nepotism, networking doesn’t trump competence. Being qualified and good at your job is always the starting point.

“It’s a bummer to be told that no matter how intelligent you are, how hard you work, or how well you’ve prepared yourself,…you need to connect to people to get to your goal.”

The United States is a democratic society in terms of networking, and attempting to meet a higher-up is acceptable. You might fail, but the attempt won’t work against you. Your network will grow as you add new people. LinkedIn and other social platforms help you to maintain contacts. Moreover, your network becomes more valuable over time as your contacts move up the ladder.

Connect regularly and meaningfully with those in your invisible network.

In 1973, sociologist Mark Granovetter coined the term “weak tie” – an acquaintance who’s not a member of your close circle of friends or family. Weak ties are powerful: They expand the number of people available to help you attain a goal, such as finding a new job, garnering support for a new venture or making a new friend. Because weak ties don’t know you as well as members of your immediate circle, and they have less personal history with you, they aren’t limited by preconceived notions or personal expectations. Thus, you have less to lose when approaching a weak tie than someone close to you.

“You need a relationship portfolio – not just one type of relationship.”

The biggest category within your “relationship portfolio” – the range of people who can help you in different ways – is your weak ties. Other types include “sponsors and mentors, work colleagues, bosses and senior stakeholders, clients and customers, friends and beneficiaries.” Plan to reach out to people in each category every month. The “Relationship Portfolio Bingo Card” is one strategy. Create a 4×4 matrix, and populate each field with a name from your invisible network, making sure to select contacts from each category.

Connect regularly with those in your invisible network in meaningful ways. While face-to-face meetings are the best option, attending group events, making Zoom or FaceTime calls, sending emails, having a presence on messaging platforms, and staying current through professional newsletters and communications are just a few alternative ways to maintain connections. Perfect the “art of the ping,” a quick missive that conveys that you are thinking of the person but don’t require a response. For example, “I was reading this article and thought of you.” Record people’s contact information and track when and how you’ve contacted them.

Act on your curiosity, instigate interactions and try something new.

Initiating conversations with strangers can feel awkward. Not everyone will respond positively, but most people will appreciate your efforts. Reach out with a “spirit of generosity” – the belief that getting to know someone is worthwhile. Adopt a “spirit of curiosity” − a learner’s mind-set − and a “spirit of prosperity” − the understanding that there’s always someone new and interesting to meet. Try to cultivate your invisible network before you have a specific request.

“Reaching out may seem artificial, but interacting with real people won’t.”

Conversations are more productive when you have a plan. A simple three-step process for “conversational leadership” is to explain the purpose of the conversation and how it might proceed and then ask if the other person agrees. Even with a plan in place, conversations are unpredictable. Expect a 30:50:20 ratio − 30% of conversations will prove fruitful, half will be adequate and 20% won’t go anywhere. Great conversations take time to develop because participants need to relax and get comfortable. The magic often happens at “Minute 32” – that moment when you discover something or someone in common, bond over a shared interest or goal, or think of a way to help each other.

Advocating and promoting yourself to others is necessary to get ahead, yet it may feel crass. You must strike the right balance: Over-confidence turns listeners off; weakness undermines the message. Therefore, prepare a brief positioning statement to describe yourself. Be upbeat and friendly as you convey your goals. Reveal some basics about yourself, your current needs and what you hope the conversation will accomplish. For example: “I’m a political junkie and would like to run for public office one day. I know you’re involved in party politics, and I’d love to talk about how I could plant some early seeds.”

Sharing stories of wrong turns, disappointments and doubts deepens connections.

Exhibiting vulnerability may feel scary, especially in a business setting. Experiment by sending out feelers and taking minor risks, such as inviting your boss to lunch instead of asking for a private meeting to discuss your future. The other person may respond in kind and engage or shut you down. Regardless, the consequences are negligible. By being more vulnerable, you invite others to do the same.

“Everyone is familiar with the uncertainties of life, so when you can communicate them coherently, you demonstrate vulnerability and groundedness.”

Explore vulnerability in the following five ways:

1. “Mix personal and professional topics” – Share what’s happening outside of work, such as upcoming plans, shows or books you enjoy, or past experiences.
2. “Work toward next-level listening” – Pay attention to your conversational partner’s words and body language. Repeat what you’ve heard in your own words, and ask follow-up questions.
3. “Acknowledge your setbacks, disappointments and failures” – Recalling times when you made mistakes or faced adversity humanizes you and allows others to empathize and relate.
4. “Be open about uncertainty and lack of resolution” – Sharing your uncertainties will resonate with listeners.
5. “Hold something painful or hard for the other person” – When people open up to you, listen patiently with empathy rather than trying to cheer them up.

Develop a clear understanding of what you want and how to ask for it, and persevere.

Many people are reluctant to make an ask. The other person might refuse or might agree. You won’t know unless you ask. If you don’t, someone else will. If your counterpart says no or makes a counteroffer, consider alternatives and negotiate a compromise that works for each of you.

An invisible network rarely produces immediate results. Achieving desired outcomes requires a long-term investment. When responses are slow, noncommittal or nonexistent, practice self-validation. Track your efforts, such as the number of emails you send, conversations you instigate or events you attend. Evaluate what went well and identify areas in need of improvement. Positive self-talk will keep your spirits up.

“You’re the leader of your own life. It might be nice to have others cheering you along, but in the end, you’ll need to be your biggest cheerleader.”

Being part of a group can be rewarding. You forge long-lasting relationships, enjoy a sense of belonging, and share common interests and experiences. Convening power, the ability to bring people together, enables you to interact with several people at once and promote connections between others. If you’d rather not host a gathering, consider volunteering for a role within an existing committee, group or club.

Healthy relationships involve mutual giving and receiving, but not exact reciprocity.

Even the most successful people have had help along the way. Valerie Jarrett, a Chicago power broker, took Barack Obama under her wing early in his career and acted as a sponsor. Political operator Larry Summers worked behind the scenes to mentor Sheryl Sandberg. Sponsors make moves on your behalf and garner support for your advancement. Mentors share wisdom, give feedback and offer guidance. Both types of relationships are essential for your growth and advancement, so seek out people who might fit these roles, and be receptive when opportunities arise.

“Mentors and sponsors are special relationships, but they are also normal relationships. It’s in your power to develop them.”

Many types of relationships involve a power differential. Executive coach Michael Wenderoth describes power as stemming from five asset categories: “political skills, strong networks, visibility and brand, executive presence and communications skills, and control of hard resources.” You have the power to harness the first four characteristics. When engaging with higher-ups, put their needs ahead of your own. You’re more likely to get what you want by helping them succeed. Respect their experience, title and time in all your interactions. Be a team player, and carry out their decisions, even if you don’t agree wholeheartedly.

Giving and receiving is a natural aspect of healthy relationships. Generally, give when you can and set aside the need for exact reciprocity. For example, if your CEO introduces you to a potential client, you can’t respond in kind. However, you can respond with appreciation and pay it forward by being a benefactor to others. Ways to help others include facilitating connections, sharing your expertise, bringing people together, showing up at functions and events, becoming a mentor or sponsor, and making donations. Remember, though, that you don’t need to agree to every request for help.

About the Author

Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher is an executive coach and leadership expert, former lawyer, podcaster, and author of a self-help book for lawyers, The Creative Lawyer.

Review

In “Your Invisible Network,” Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher provides practical advice for creating, maintaining, and leveraging professional relationships to enhance one’s career. The book emphasizes the importance of building a strong network and offers actionable strategies for doing so. In this summary and review, we’ll explore the key takeaways from the book and evaluate its effectiveness in helping readers achieve their career goals.

“Your Invisible Network” by Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher is a comprehensive guide that explores the power of building and leveraging professional relationships to enhance one’s career. The book provides practical advice and strategies for creating and maintaining a strong network that can lead to new opportunities and professional growth.

The author begins by emphasizing the importance of networking in today’s competitive job market. He highlights how relationships play a crucial role in career advancement and outlines the benefits of cultivating a diverse and robust network.

Melcher then delves into the process of building and expanding one’s network. He offers insights into effective networking techniques, including attending industry events, leveraging social media platforms, and reaching out to contacts for informational interviews. The book emphasizes the value of authentic connections and provides guidance on how to establish and nurture meaningful relationships.

The author also addresses the challenges and common misconceptions associated with networking. He provides practical tips on overcoming shyness or introversion, navigating networking events, and following up with contacts in a genuine and professional manner.

Furthermore, “Your Invisible Network” explores the concept of reciprocity in networking. Melcher emphasizes the importance of providing value to others and building mutually beneficial relationships. The book offers strategies for offering assistance, sharing knowledge, and becoming a valuable resource within one’s network.

In addition to building relationships, the book explores the concept of leveraging one’s network for career advancement. Melcher provides guidance on how to tap into one’s network for job opportunities, mentorship, and professional advice. He also offers insights into strategic networking, such as identifying key influencers and cultivating relationships with decision-makers in one’s field.

Throughout the book, Melcher shares personal anecdotes and success stories to illustrate the power of networking. He provides examples of individuals who have leveraged their networks to secure new job roles, gain valuable insights, and achieve career milestones.

Key Takeaways

• The Importance of Building a Strong Network: Melcher stresses that a robust professional network is essential for career success. He argues that a strong network can open doors to new opportunities, provide valuable feedback, and help individuals navigate their careers.
• Identifying and Connecting with Key Players: Melcher offers practical tips for identifying key players in your industry and building relationships with them. He suggests that readers should focus on building relationships with people who have the power to help them achieve their career goals.
• Nurturing Relationships: The author emphasizes the importance of nurturing relationships over time. He suggests that readers should invest in their relationships by being helpful, responsive, and supportive.
• Leveraging Relationships for Career Advancement: Melcher provides strategies for leveraging relationships to advance one’s career. He suggests that readers should be proactive in seeking out opportunities and using their networks to gain access to new experiences and challenges.
• Maintaining Relationships: The author stresses the importance of maintaining relationships even when they may not seem immediately beneficial. He argues that relationships can deteriorate quickly if not properly maintained.
• The Role of Technology in Building Relationships: Melcher discusses the role of technology in building and maintaining relationships. He suggests that while technology can be helpful, it is important to balance technology with face-to-face interactions.
• Networking for Introverts: The author provides advice for introverts who may find networking challenging. He suggests that introverts should focus on building relationships with people they genuinely connect with and feel comfortable around.

“Your Invisible Network” is a valuable resource for professionals seeking to enhance their networking skills and leverage their relationships for career success. Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher provides practical advice and actionable strategies that can be implemented by individuals at any stage of their career.

One of the strengths of the book is its emphasis on authenticity and genuine connections. Melcher highlights the importance of building relationships based on trust and mutual respect, rather than simply collecting contacts for personal gain. This approach sets the book apart from other networking guides and provides readers with a solid foundation for building long-lasting and meaningful connections.

The author’s writing style is engaging and accessible, making complex networking concepts easy to understand. The book is well-organized, with clear sections and actionable steps that readers can implement immediately. Melcher’s use of real-life examples and success stories adds credibility to the advice provided and helps readers envision the potential benefits of networking.

Another notable aspect of “Your Invisible Network” is its focus on reciprocity and providing value to others. Melcher emphasizes the importance of being a resource within one’s network and offering assistance to others. This mindset shift from a self-focused approach to a more giving and supportive mindset is a key component of building strong and mutually beneficial relationships.

While the book covers a wide range of networking strategies and techniques, some readers may find that certain areas could be explored in more depth. However, the book provides a solid foundation and serves as an excellent starting point for individuals looking to improve their networking skills.

Recommendation

Overall, “Your Invisible Network” is a highly recommended read for professionals who want to enhance their networking abilities and leverage their relationships for career growth. Michael Urtuzuástegui Melcher’s practical advice, emphasis on authenticity, and focus on providing value make this book a valuable resource for anyone seeking to navigate the world of professional networking successfully.

I highly recommend “Your Invisible Network” to anyone looking to improve their professional relationships and advance their career. The book is well-written, informative, and provides practical advice that can be applied immediately. If you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to building and maintaining professional relationships, this book is an excellent choice.