Table of Contents
Is Chasing ‘Having It All’ Leading to Burnout? How Can You Redefine Success on Your Own Terms?
Break free from the pressure to be perfect with Emma Gannon’s The Success Myth. Discover why money, fame, and productivity often lead to burnout, and learn how to let go of ‘having it all’ to find authentic happiness and redefine success on your own terms.
Stop chasing a version of success that doesn’t even make you happy—read the full summary below to learn the 5 myths you need to unlearn today to finally feel ‘enough’.
Genres
Motivation, Inspiration, Personal Development, Career Success
Redefine success on your own terms.
The Success Myth (2023) challenges the conventional metrics of achievement and exposes how they often lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and emptiness. It proposes a new framework for viewing success, focusing on personal fulfillment rather than societal accolades. Through a mix of anecdotal evidence and practical advice, it invites readers to redefine success to align more closely with their own values and aspirations.
The myth of happiness
The Myth of Happiness Have you ever been walking down the street, lost in thought, when someone tells you to smile? This familiar and often frustrating experience, particularly for women, is a troubling symptom of a pervasive societal expectation, the belief that we should be happy all the time. In reality, happiness is just one of many fleeting emotions that people experience. Trying to maintain a state of constant happiness is neither sustainable nor healthy, often leading to emotional dishonesty and distress.
There’s a gap between the societal ideal of perpetual happiness and the actual emotional states many individuals report. In fact, studies reveal the significant portions of populations experience overwhelming stress and persistent sadness. In other words, we’re not as happy as we’re told we should be. So what could be causing this gap between expected and experienced emotions? Social media plays a part, exacerbating expectations by displaying curated lives filled with joy and success, which can make everyday users feel inadequate. This digital distortion can deepen the dissatisfaction and emotional strain felt by many.
Really, we need to acknowledge the full spectrum of human emotions for true emotional health. Emotions like sadness, nostalgia, or tranquility are all essential parts of the human experience, and valuing these feelings alongside happiness can lead to a richer, more authentic life. So instead of striving for constant happiness, focus on managing your emotions effectively. One practical technique is reframing negative thoughts. This shifts your perspective on difficult situations to prevent them from escalating. For example, if you wake up feeling overwhelmed by tiredness and a busy schedule, you might initially think, I’m exhausted and can’t face this day.
But you can reframe this thought to, hey, I’m tired because I’ve been working hard and achieving my goals, and I’m proud of the effort I’m putting in. This can change your outlook and reduce feelings of dread. Reframing can be applied throughout the day. When minor mishaps occur, like dropping your lunch or breaking an umbrella, instead of spiraling into frustration, you might reframe your thoughts to focus on the positives or the trivial nature of these setbacks.
This shift in thinking acknowledges the issue without allowing it to overshadow the good aspects of your life. Aiming for constant happiness is unrealistic and can be harmful. Maintaining emotional authenticity and resilience is a more practical and fulfilling approach. So embrace the natural variability of your emotions, and you will be prepared to handle life’s challenges more effectively.
The myth of productivity
The Myth of Productivity In 1965, a U.S. Senate subcommittee predicted that advances in technology would drastically reduce our working hours by the year 2000. If this hasn’t been your experience, you’re not alone. Instead, it seems that the modern to-do list keeps getting longer. We glamorize overworking, wear exhaustion as a badge of honor, and constantly move on to the next task without taking a moment to breathe.
Our working days have even increased by two hours since email became accessible on our phones. Is this relentless hustle really what success looks like? Focusing so intensely on productivity has significant downsides, particularly in terms of mental health. There’s a stigma around admitting you need a break, especially for mental health reasons. It’s often easier to claim a physical ailment than to confess to needing a day just to decompress. Despite growing awareness, this stigma persists.
Technology, while promising to ease our loads, often intensifies the pressure to be perpetually productive. From apps that summarize books in minutes to tools that promise to streamline every aspect of life, the push to do more in less time is everywhere. But this often leads to a superficial engagement with information and a relentless pace that burns people out. The personal toll of this productivity push can be severe. Many find themselves working through illness, sacrificing sleep, and being unable to disconnect from work, even during supposed downtime. Maybe we need to fundamentally rethink our approach to work and productivity.
Instead of glorifying overwork, we should value balance and recognize when our bodies and minds demand rest. Listen to your body when it tells you to slow down. Reflect on the pressures you put on yourself for productivity. Can you reduce your to-do list or offer yourself more time? Think about what feeling you are chasing when being productive. Satisfaction?
Feeling enough? Proving something to yourself? Maybe there are other ways to achieve these feelings. In a world obsessed with output, we need to learn to set boundaries around work and understand the value of downtime. Recognizing that being constantly on isn’t sustainable is the first step toward healthier work habits and ultimately a more balanced life.
The myth of celebrity
The myth of money
The Myth of Money A multi-millionaire boy band member once said in an interview, money doesn’t buy happiness because the best things in life are free. Despite his wealth, he appeared defensive, worried, and insecure, admitting he missed his home and his family. This seems to be a common narrative. Wealth and fame do not guarantee happiness.
Money is undoubtedly important. It can solve many problems and alleviate stress, providing comfort and security. Financial stability impacts well-being, improving sleep quality, health, and the ability to refuse unfavorable situations. But our cultural obsession with excessive wealth often confuses financial stability with the need to accumulate vast amounts of money. Studies show that while money increases happiness up to a point, beyond a certain threshold, additional income doesn’t significantly boost happiness. A 2010 study by Kahneman and Deaton found that this threshold is around $75,000 annually.
Beyond this, additional income has little effect. This highlights the misconception that more money continuously increases happiness. In terms of Maslow’s hierarchy, money is essential for fulfilling our basic physiological and safety needs, such as food, shelter, and security. Once these foundational needs are met, additional wealth can enhance comfort and convenience, supporting higher-level psychological and self-fulfillment needs like relationships, esteem, and personal growth. But money doesn’t fundamentally increase overall happiness. The endless pursuit of luxury can trap individuals, altering their self-perception and perpetuating a cycle of wanting more.
The societal glorification of excess often obscures the reality that endless accumulation does not lead to lasting fulfillment. Money can meet basic needs and provide comfort, but beyond this, it doesn’t equate to happiness. Striving for excessive wealth can create new stressors, isolating individuals and making them less happy. One way to break this cycle of accumulation would be some kind of universal basic income, which would provide a set amount of money to every citizen regularly and so ensure that everyone’s basic needs are met. This approach could reduce societal stress and improve overall well-being by ensuring that basic needs are met without the relentless pursuit of excessive wealth. Advocates believe it would encourage people to thrive without being bogged down by financial struggles.
In the end, true wealth involves more than just money. It encompasses time, happiness, and well-being. Recognizing and valuing different forms of currency can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. By shifting your perspective on wealth, you can find greater meaning and fulfillment beyond financial gain.
The myth of arrival
The Myth of Arrival Picture this. For years, you’ve dreamed about publishing your first book, and it’s finally happened. The book launch is thrilling, full of celebration and a sense of accomplishment. And yet, a few months later, you feel deflated and unfulfilled, despite having achieved your goal.
This anticlimax is a common experience, highlighting the illusion of lasting happiness from significant achievements. It’s because of what we call the arrival fallacy, which falsely suggests that reaching a milestone will bring enduring joy. Many people come face-to-face with this fallacy, not just when publishing a book, but also in relation to other significant life events, like landing a dream job, buying a new home, getting a promotion, completing a marathon, or even getting married. Of course, these milestones are significant and worth celebrating, but they often don’t bring the lasting joy we expect. Once the initial excitement fades, life continues with its usual ups and downs. The arrival fallacy leaves us feeling disappointed because we believe that achieving certain goals will transform our lives and bring lasting happiness.
Instead, we need to recognize that true contentment comes from ongoing personal growth, meaningful relationships, and living authentically, rather than from reaching specific milestones. Psychological psychologist Dr. Sophie Mort explains that when you achieve a milestone, you lose the structure and purpose that the pursuit of the milestone provided, leaving you feeling lost. Success in one area doesn’t mean all areas of life are perfect, and achieving a dream doesn’t erase life’s challenges or personal issues. For instance, you can publish that first book while simultaneously facing personal losses. Success in one aspect doesn’t shield against difficulties in others. Adam Grant, a psychology professor, emphasizes that success is a temporary thrill.
True happiness lies in daily activities that bring joy and fulfillment. Achievements are part of life, not the ultimate solution to all problems. So instead of chasing the illusion of permanent happiness through major achievements, focus on the present. Enjoy the small, daily moments that bring joy.
Success should be viewed as an ongoing journey, not a final destination. By shifting your focus to daily joys and personal values, you can find lasting fulfillment and redefine what success means to you. This is one of the steps in dismantling the success myth and revealing that true contentment comes from within, not from external achievements.
Final summary
The main takeaway of this summary to the success myth by Emma Gannon is that true fulfillment and success are found not in external achievements or societal expectations, but in daily joys, meaningful relationships, and living authentically. By embracing a broader, more personal definition of success, you can navigate life’s ups and downs with greater contentment and resilience. Recognizing the myths of perpetual happiness, relentless productivity, fame, and wealth allows you to redefine what truly matters, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Shift your perspective to appreciate the present, and you’ll discover that genuine satisfaction comes from within.