“In the chaos of everyday life, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters, and I can use my habits to make sure that my life reflects my values.” – Gretchen Rubin
If you develop the right habits, you can get incredible results:
- Daily reading habit = incredibly knowledgeable
- Regular exercising habit = incredibly fit
- Healthy eating habit = incredibly energetic
- Daily practice habit (drawing or writing) = incredibly talented
Well-developed habits are powerful productivity tools because they allow you to produce results effortlessly.
“With habits, we don’t make decisions, we don’t use self-control, we just do the thing we want ourselves to do.” – Gretchen Rubin
4 reasons you’ve failed to develop a productive habit in the past:
Confused
“The more specific I am about what action to take, the more likely I am to form a habit.” – Gretchen Rubin
When trying to develop a new habit, the slightest amount of confusion leads to procrastination. If you don’t have a clear action plan (i.e. when, where, and how you’ll take action), you’ll avoid adopting the new habit and continue executing an older, more familiar habit.
Solution: Connect the new habit to an existing habit (create a trigger) and write down an explicit action sequence.
Example: “When I finish making a tea in the morning [EXISTING HABIT], I will sit down at my desk, open a new Microsoft Word document, and start journaling until I reach 1,000 words [SPECIFIC ACTION SEQUENCE].
Inconsistent
“Habits grow strongest and fastest when they’re repeated in predictable ways.” – Gretchen Rubin
If a new behavior isn’t executed in a predictable manner, you’ll require decision making power to initiate the behavior, which leads to failure in the long-run. Until a new behavior seems familiar and regular, your brain will resist doing it.
Solution: Increase your familiarity with the new habit by executing the habit on a daily basis. The more familiar a habit becomes, the less resistance you’ll have to initiate the habit (the habit seems natural – something you ‘just do’). Aim to execute a new habit in the same place and time each day. Adopt the Andy Warhol philosophy: “Either once only, or every day.”
Weak value
“The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself – not what other people value, or expect from me – the more likely I am to stick to my habits.” – Gretchen Rubin
Many habits we attempt to develop are red herrings: people insist we do them, but we don’t really want to. Unless the willingness to build a habit comes from within, you won’t have the drive and dedication required to develop a habit.
Solution: Ensure a habit is deeply meaningful to you before attempting to develop it. Ask yourself, “What will this habit ultimately lead to?” Then ask, “On a scale of 1-10, how much does this excite me?”. If you answer is anything less than a 10, don’t bother adopting the habit because you won’t stick with it. Only develop habits you know will have a tremendous impact on your life. It’s helpful to find people who have developed your desired habit (ex: daily exercise) and see if their results are something you’d rank on as a 10 on your excitement scale.
Wrong strategy
Before attempting to develop a new habit, consider your personality type:
Upholder
“They are overly concerned with following the rules.” – Gretchen Rubin
You’re an Upholder if you:
- Respond to external expectations (If you tell someone you’re going to do something, you do it. No matter what).
- Respond to internal expectations (if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, you do it. No matter what).
Recommended Habit Development Strategy: Write down your habit on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket. Schedule times to execute your habit in your calendar.
Obliger
“They go to great lengths to meet their responsibilities.”- Gretchen Rubin
You’re an Obliger if you:
- Respond to external expectations (If you tell someone you’re going to do something, you do it. No matter what).
- Resist internal expectations (you routinely abandon commitments you make with yourself).
Recommended Habit Development Strategy: Publicly state your goal. Write your goal on social media, or explicitly tell a friend what you intent to do.
Questioner
“They resist doing anything that seems to lack sound purpose” – G. Rubin
You’re a Questioner if you:
- Resist external expectations (you hate being told what to do).
- Respond to internal expectations (if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, you do it. No matter what).
Recommended Habit Development Strategy: Frequently remind yourself why you’re building the habit and how it will help you achieve your greater goal.
Rebel
“They resist control, even self-control.” — Gretchen Rubin
You’re a Rebel if you:
- Resist external expectations (you hate being told what to do).
- Resist internal expectations (you routinely abandon commitments you make with yourself).
Recommended Habit Development Strategy: Commit to a short trial period (-2 weeks) with the ‘freedom’ to quit after the trial period is over.
Review
Introduction:
“Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits–to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life” is a self-help book written by Gretchen Rubin, a renowned author and habit expert. The book delves into the intricacies of habit formation and provides practical strategies for creating and maintaining healthy habits. In this review, we’ll explore the book’s key concepts, strengths, and weaknesses, and provide an overall assessment of its usefulness.
The book is divided into four parts:
- The Four Tendencies: This part introduces Rubin’s theory of the four tendencies, which are Obligers, Questioners, Upholders, and Rebels. Each tendency has its own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to forming habits.
- The Architecture of Habits: This part discusses the science of habit formation. Rubin explains how habits are formed, how they can be changed, and how to make them stick.
- The Power of Experiments: This part encourages readers to experiment with different strategies for forming habits. Rubin provides a number of practical tips and exercises that readers can use to change their habits.
- The Happiness Project: This part is a personal account of Rubin’s own journey to change her habits. Rubin shares her successes and failures, and she provides advice on how to use the principles of habit formation to create a happier life.
Key Concepts:
- The Four Tendencies: Rubin’s book revolves around her Four Tendencies framework, which categorizes individuals into four groups based on their response to expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Understanding this framework helps readers identify their tendency and develop strategies tailored to their unique needs.
- Habit Formation: The book provides a comprehensive guide to habit formation, covering topics such as the habit loop (cue, routine, reward), the role of identity in habits, and the importance of starting small. Rubin also emphasizes the significance of creating an environment conducive to good habits.
- Strategies for Change: Rubin offers a wide range of strategies for making and breaking habits. These include techniques like the “2-minute rule,” the “4-second rule,” and the “habit stacking” method. She also discusses the importance of monitoring progress and using tools like the “habit tracker” to stay on track.Mindset and Motivation: The book touches on the topics of mindset and motivation, emphasizing the importance of cultivating a growth mindset, finding motivation, and leveraging the power of community and accountability.
Strengths:
- Practicality: Rubin’s book is filled with actionable advice and real-life examples, making it easy for readers to apply the concepts to their own lives.
- Accessibility: The Four Tendencies framework is straightforward and simple to understand, allowing readers to quickly identify their tendency and begin implementing strategies.
- Relevance: The book covers a wide range of habits, from sleep and nutrition to productivity and relationships, ensuring that readers can find valuable insights relevant to their goals.
- Engaging Writing Style: Rubin’s writing is conversational, relatable, and often humorous, making the book an enjoyable read.
Weaknesses:
- Lack of Scientific Research: While Rubin provides numerous anecdotes and examples, some readers may find the lack of scientific research and data-driven evidence to support her claims disappointing.
- Overemphasis on Individual Responsibility: The book places significant emphasis on individual responsibility, which might overlook external factors that influence habit formation and behavior change.
- Limited Focus on Overcoming Obstacles: Rubin primarily focuses on creating healthy habits, with less attention given to overcoming obstacles and maintaining motivation when facing challenges.
- Not Suitable for All Audiences: The book’s focus on the Four Tendencies framework may not resonate with everyone, and some readers might find the categorization system too simplistic or unhelpful.
Conclusion:
“Better Than Before” is a valuable resource for anyone looking to create positive habits and improve their lives. Rubin’s practical strategies, relatable anecdotes, and engaging writing style make the book an enjoyable and informative read. While it has some limitations, such as a lack of scientific research and an overemphasis on individual responsibility, the book provides a useful framework for understanding habit formation and behavior change. Overall, we recommend “Better Than Before” to anyone seeking to make lasting changes and build a happier, healthier life.
Here are some additional thoughts on the book:
- Rubin is a gifted writer and storyteller. She makes the science of habit formation easy to understand and relatable.
- The book is full of practical tips and exercises that readers can use to change their own habits.
- The book is also inspiring and motivating. Rubin’s personal story shows that it is possible to change your habits and create a happier life.
If you are interested in learning more about the science of habit formation and how to use it to change your own habits, then I highly recommend reading Better Than Before.