How Can You Build a Happier Life and Overcome Daily Stress Using Proven Practices?

What Are the Best Habits for Increasing Daily Happiness and Building Resilience?

Learn how to boost daily happiness and resilience with Hardwired for Happiness. Discover research-backed habits for reducing stress and finding your purpose.

Ready to overcome stress and design a more joyful, purpose-driven life? Read the full article to explore nine practical strategies that will help you master your emotions and increase your daily happiness.

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If you’re struggling to feel happy, you may blame external circumstances for your low mood. But according to Ashish Kothari — who coaches leaders and teams in boosting their happiness levels and achieving their goals — you have the power to shift into a more positive mood. Learn about research-backed practices you should embrace to experience more contentment, well-being, career success, and spiritual fulfillment. Kothari offers tips on how to stop letting life happen to you and to claim your agency instead, to design a more happy, purpose-driven life.

Take-Aways

• Boosting your happiness levels starts with strengthening self-awareness.
• Identify your Ikigai and embrace purposeful living.
• Live more mindfully and practice gratitude.
• Master your emotions and moods and approach them with curiosity.
• Cultivate compassion with practices such as Metta meditation.
• Invest in the well-being of your mind, body, and spirit.
• Prioritize relationship-building and spending time with people you love.
• Manage your time intentionally by clearing space in your schedule for what matters most to you.

Summary

Boosting your happiness levels starts with strengthening self-awareness.

When people are unhappy, it’s often their mindset that’s to blame: According to happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, you can attribute high happiness levels to your mindset 50% of the time, to the choices you have consciously made 40% of the time, and to external circumstances only 10% of the time. If you’re struggling to feel happy, consider transforming your mindset and making better daily choices by applying research-backed practices you can easily integrate into your existing routines.

“I fundamentally believe that happiness is a mindset — an inner game that everyone has the ability to develop and master if they put in the effort.”

The first practice you should adopt is the cultivation of greater self-awareness, or “the ability to observe the observer.” When you’re self-aware, you’re able to zoom out and view your current context and situation more objectively, a skill that has several research-backed health benefits, such as reducing stress, increasing resilience and well-being, and strengthening the ability to achieve your goals. Consider adopting a daily journaling habit to master self-awareness. For example, perhaps you opt to reflect on situations that trigger you, or alternately, your unique strengths and skills. As you build self-awareness through reflective journaling, you’ll become less reactive, and cultivate the ability to observe your thoughts, bodily sensations, and emotions.

Identify your Ikigai and embrace purposeful living.

Extensive research affirms the correlation between living a purpose-driven life and increased happiness, professional success, and overall well-being. Living with purpose connects to everything from increased longevity to better pain management. When you live in alignment with your purpose, you have a greater sense of meaning to draw strength from when navigating life’s challenges, which bolsters resiliency. If you’re unclear on what your purpose is, reflect on the concept of Ikigai — a Japanese word that loosely translates into “a reason for being.” Find your Ikigai by identifying an activity that has the following aspects in common: You love doing it; you’re skilled or gifted in this area; the world needs people with your skill; and people will pay you for your work in this area.

“Your joy and happiness do not depend on the actions of others. It solely stems from living into our Ikigai from moment to moment.”

If you’re stuck in a job that doesn’t align with your Ikigai, brainstorm ideas about how to transform your existing role or pivot into another role to better connect to purpose. For example, if you aim to “help people,” you might want to explore “pivoting to do more coaching and leadership development work.” Once you’ve identified ideas, test their commercial viability with small experiments. Take advantage of reports by market research firms, such as AlphaSights and GLG, that shed insight on the market demand within your industry for roles that pique your interest. Conduct informational interviews with people who work in the roles you hope to move into before making a big career change.

Live more mindfully and practice gratitude.

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Umass Memorial Health Center for Mindfulness, defines “mindfulness” as “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” Incorporating a mindfulness practice into your life can reduce stress and boost cognitive function — one study found that participants of an eight-week-long mindfulness course actually demonstrated higher brain activity in the prefrontal cortex region associated with complex cognitive, emotional, and behavioral functions. To add mindfulness into your existing routine, transform ordinary walks into mindful moments. Whether you’re walking from your car to the office or around your neighborhood, tune into your senses, setting an intention to appreciate the world around you as you move through it.

“Gratitude is a powerful antidote to the current culture of more — doing more, wanting more, buying more.”

Notice small details that others might miss to improve your capacity to practice gratitude — this involves expressing your thanks for everything you have in the current moment, rather than perpetually chasing things you don’t have. For example, when you eat lunch in a restaurant, pause to note your gratitude for the delicious meal, and the workers in the kitchen who prepared it. Practicing gratitude helps you shift your mindset from one of scarcity — in which you focus on all you lack — to one of abundance, which can lead to greater contentment.

Become a master of your emotions and moods by approaching them with curiosity.

The words “mood” and “emotions” are similar but not interchangeable: When you have an emotion, it typically arises as a response to an event or situation, whereas when you experience a mood, you’re continuously experiencing the same emotion for a prolonged period of time. When you experience chronic negative moods, your quality of life and physical health deteriorate. The presence of the stress hormone cortisol in your body links to a slew of health issues, ranging from reduced immune response to an increased likelihood of developing diseases such as diabetes and heart disease. Chronic anxiety and fear can impair long-term memory, decrease emotional regulation, increase reactivity, and make you more likely to experience burnout and depression.

“Stepping back, you can recognize that often the moods and emotions you find yourself in have less to do with the external world, but more to do with the lens through which you are observing it.”

When experiencing distressing emotions, approach them with curiosity. When you feel triggered, write down the narrative you’re telling yourself, separating the facts in your story from your beliefs. For example, perhaps you blame someone for a difficult situation at work, but upon reflection, you realize you are not correct or fair to hold this individual responsible for your setback. That said, if you can factually demonstrate that someone has wronged you, practice forgiveness — which isn’t synonymous with forgetting — while simultaneously erecting boundaries to protect yourself.

Cultivate compassion with practices such as Metta meditation.

Happy people embrace habits that strengthen their sense of compassion toward others. Compassion requires both empathy, “the ability to walk in another’s shoes” and a simultaneous desire to take actions that alleviate others’ suffering. The “compassion instinct” is innate to all animals — not only humans: Research, published in the journal Science, shows that rats, for example, will try to help one another out of traps in laboratory experiments. Research from the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s Dr. Helen Weng and Dr. Richard Davidson demonstrates that compassion is a skill you can strengthen with training and practice: When shown a video about the benefits of sharing money, study participants proved more likely to report that they would share money with those who lacked fair access to their own money.

“Genuine compassion is based on the foundation that all human beings want to be happy and free of suffering.”

To cultivate compassion, incorporate a loving-kindness meditation practice, or Metta, into your life. Allocate 15 minutes to meditating on mantras, such as: “May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be free of suffering. May you be peaceful.” Open your practice by sitting in a comfortable position, with your back straight, while taking three slow, deep breaths. Allow your breath to return to normal, and visualize someone who loves you, such as a partner or family member, while imagining them speaking your mantra to you. Then, visualize someone you love, and imagine speaking the mantra to them. Repeat this practice again with a more neutral person, such as a colleague, and finally, do so with someone you’re in conflict with. Close your practice by repeating the mantra to yourself using first-person language (“May I be happy…”), then taking a deep breath to absorb the benefits of your practice.

Invest in the well-being of your mind, body, and spirit.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), being genuinely healthy requires experiencing “a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being.” When you experience well-being, you feel full of physical vitality, as well as contentment, happiness, and a sense of spiritual fulfillment, which you may interpret as a deep feeling of satisfaction with your life. Well-being practices correlate with longevity benefits: According to researcher Dan Buettner, people living in “Blue Zones” — areas of the world where lifespans are longest, such as Sardinia and Okinawa — tend to engage in practices that improve their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

“It is never too late to start working on integrating practices across mind, body, and spirit that can increase your base level of well-being.”

Consider adopting habits that demonstrate an investment in the following three domains of well-being:

1. Mental well-being — Habits such as getting a good night’s sleep — seven or more hours — regularly meditating, and engaging in learning and growth will bolster your mental well-being.
2. Physical well-being — Start moving your body more, perhaps by committing to walking 10,000 steps or more per day. Consider working with a trainer to create a physical fitness program that takes your unique needs into account, combining strength, flexibility, and cardio training. Adopt a healthier diet, such as a plant-based diet, which is proven to reduce inflammation and your risk of multiple forms of cancer, diabetes, and coronary heart disease.
3. Spiritual well-being — Increase your exposure to nature via practices such as “forest bathing” — the Japanese habit of spending time in the woods, and “absorbing the forest atmosphere” to increase spiritual well-being. Likewise, blocking out time to engage in play, whether that entails playing games with your family or simply creating a playful atmosphere in the kitchen while you cook, can help boost spiritual fulfillment.

Prioritize relationship-building and spending time with people you love.

When you create a rich social network full of people you feel a deep sense of connection with, you’re likely to both feel happier and live longer. Scientists now view the chronic loneliness that arises when people lack many social connections as “as harmful as smoking 15-plus cigarettes a day.” Since humanity’s prehistoric hunter-gatherer era, the ability to connect to others has ensured the survival of the species, as humans live happier, healthier lives when in a community. Lonely people are significantly more likely to die an early death, given that they lack a social network to draw support from when navigating adversity.

“By being more intentional in building this community and tapping into its collective wisdom and resources, you can scale the highest mountain and survive the stormiest seas because you will not be alone in your journey.”

The following three tips can help you build a strong community:

1. “Adopt a mindset of curiosity and wonder” — When meeting new people, seize the opportunity to learn about the diverse stories and passions each person has to share with you.
2. Treat networking as an opportunity to help others — Rather than focusing on what you can get from others, consider reflecting on what you might be able to give them.
3. Schedule time with loved ones in your calendar — One of the biggest regrets people have on their deathbeds is failing to spend enough time with those they love. Schedule quality time with friends and family, making connection a priority, not an afterthought.

Manage your time more intentionally by clearing space in your schedule for what matters most to you.

Your time is one of your most precious resources, so spend it wisely and with intention. Start by taking an inventory of how you currently spend your time, reflecting on whether you’re prioritizing what matters or if you’re engaging in habits that don’t contribute to your happiness. Protect your time and energy by working on your “no,” as you’ll sometimes need to turn down invitations and requests that don’t align with your priorities. Don’t succumb to the pressure to respond to requests immediately, but instead build in reflective pauses, giving yourself time to consider requests before committing yourself, by saying something along the lines of: “Thank you for thinking of me. Let me get back to you after checking my capacity/calendar.”

“Our actions shape who we become and the mark we leave on the world.”

Live with more intention by clarifying the big goals you hope to work toward each day, while setting daily intentions to keep you on track. To set goals you’re more likely to achieve, focus more on the rewarding outcomes you could experience if you stick with your desired behaviors than the punishments you hope to avoid for failing to do so. Strengthen new habits you want to prioritize by intentionally building a “habit loop,” connecting your desired practices to external environmental cues that remind you to perform the action and rewards. For example, if you want to eat healthier foods, you might want to prep them ahead of time, putting them in easy-to-grab places in your kitchen. When you intentionally embrace new habits, you claim your agency and become an active participant in shaping your future.

About the Author

Ashish Kothari is the founder of the company Happiness Squad, which helps people and organizations achieve their full potentials, while increasing happiness.